Ask them: "What have you been up to today?" Quite likely, they will have been working or thinking about work anyway, and you will get a similar answer. But it gives more freedom to people who don't work or don't like talking about their work.

What someone has done with their day is generally a good representation of their personality. They will also be able to share a couple of particular details which make for better conversation than the "I do this for my job" spiel which is essentially rehearsed because we have to do it so often.

"I saw a pigeon nest on my window sill"; "I went to see my grandparents"; "I was preparing a presentation for work because I'm trying to get my boss on board with this idea I've got". These are all better things to make a conversation out of than "I work in x... Yeah, it's good, yeah... About five years."

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gooberfaced t1_jeegyw2 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:54 PM

"What's the most fun you've had this week?" is a good go-to.

[deleted] t1_jefs1ld wrote on March 31, 2023 at 6:13 PM

[removed]

keepthetips t1_jeedcgc wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:24 PM

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ChrisGeritol t1_jeema3c wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:36 PM

I assume this is when meeting people for dating. In that case, I care what the person does for a living because I want someone similarly situated in life.

themasterd0n OP t1_jeendor wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:44 PM

oh yeah I forgot how much this group skews American

seamustheseagull t1_jeet0q0 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:24 PM

Yeah, I've heard this said in a few different ways.

Basically, "What do you do for a living?" can sometimes be an interesting conversation. But usually not. Most people don't really want to spend their social time talking about their job, even if they do kind of like it. And if they work in any kind of technical field, they are definitely not going to start explaining to somebody what it is that they do.

Most doctors will say they're doctors, even if they're specialists. Because there's a lot to explain when you say you're a rheumatologist. Likewise, I "work with computers" or "computer programming", which is about the most accurate job description I can give without getting into domain terminology.

"What do you do for fun outside of work" or similar, can be better. You're getting people talking about things they may want to talk about.

my-life-for_aiur t1_jegts0d wrote on March 31, 2023 at 10:29 PM

In college a professor told us a story about visiting colleagues in the UK.

One of them mentioned to him that Americans like to go straight to that question and for him to hold off on asking people what they do for a living.

He said once it was far into the evening the colleague asked him what he thought of everybody and he said everyone was nice and it was a treasure to meet everyone.

Afterwards he went on to tell him what everyone did for a living and he was surprised about everyone's profession because he would have never guessed based on the conversations he had with them.

He said it was refreshing not knowing one's profession as you end up judging a person based on that information.

This professor was old, so I'm sure 20 years ago in college for me, it was 20 - 30+ years ago for him.