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Preposterous_punk t1_je6tnm6 wrote

Reply to comment by Waiting-For-October in LPT: When someone is mean to you, it’s 100% about them and their ego, and 0% about you. They are just miserable with their own life and want you to feel bad about yourself as well. Just kill them with kindness and remember that you are better off and not a miserable person like them. by Waiting-For-October

That’s why a one-size-fits-all tip doesn’t work, though. “Mean” is not a clear enough term. I think a lot of people would view someone saying “I think you’re unattractive and I don’t want you around me, leave me alone!” as mean. And sometimes it is mean, and a bizarre response to someone asking to be handed a napkin. Sometimes it is a reasonable and desperate reaction to unacceptable behavior. Same with the other examples. But if someone walks into a room and says “a girl just said I’m ugly and shouldn’t come near her,” and people respond with “OMG how mean! That’s about her, not you!” the person is going to continue on acting in appropriately and feeling sure they’re not the problem.

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