It's been 10 years since we lost my sister and 3 since I lost my boyfriend. My mom still goes through episodes where she lapses into grief. On those days, I'm soft with her and let her talk, and I don't correct her if she calls me by my siblings name. I have PTSD from how I lost my boyfriend, and certain things will trigger it. I'll never ride a motorcycle again, can't even watch videos of accidents happening with riders involved, and have panic attacks when close calls happen to me while driving. My fiance is gentle with me on my bad days. He knows in theory how bad it was to go through, and supports me incredibly well.

When you have a loved one who has been hurt by loss, or if you are the one hurt by it, gentleness is the balm to grief.