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ZhugeSimp t1_jefrf3t wrote

OK so I live alone, have no friends, and closest family is 50mi away, now what?


Real_Jackraps t1_jegqvgb wrote

Plant cover crop and make metric tons of compost. Build the best ecosystem around.


Six_Kills t1_jegsj4e wrote

Watch its animals evolve over time and eventually you'll literally have made friends 👍


ChHeBoo t1_jegvgj3 wrote

For me this is about balance and flexibility finding the right amount social interaction for me. I’m fairly (perhaps more than is healthy) comfortable with my own company, although I’m fortunate enough to have a strong support network. How are you feeling about your situation? If you’re feeling isolated what’s stopping you finding others, is it fear/anxiety lack of inspiration of how/ where or something else?


NotUnique_______ t1_jegbvuz wrote

Creating healthy boundaries and cultivating healthy relationships is the answer, not pushing the world away.


nemopost t1_jeft074 wrote

The problem starts when its every other person


__420_ t1_jegwb7i wrote

Damn this hits too hard... what's the next level of an introvert?


stingraybt t1_jegnewp wrote

I have distanced myself from some old friends that drained me with negative energy and it honestly felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It’s honestly relieving but sometimes I can’t help feel the guilt of cutting them off since I also had good memories with them. But if the result of distancing myself from these people meant I became happier then it must have been worth it.

As an adult, I now have no issues burning bridges with people lol


enderofgalaxies t1_jegfe82 wrote

I recently cut out a few friends of mine who weren't putting forth the same effort to make plans and see each other, and while it hurt at first, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't have to try anymore, and I don't get my feelings hurt anymore by their lack of outreach.

Learning to let go has been one of the most valuable skills I've acquired in adulthood.


Friendly_Bot_ t1_jegog1c wrote

That highly depends on why you would choose to distance yourself.


GonnaFindOut t1_jegih4e wrote

Alternatively, recognizing people have distance themselves from you and making positive changes based on that recognition can also be one of the healthiest choices you can make.


Dungeon_Master_Lucky t1_jegzvc7 wrote

This is way too vague. Humans absolutely need social lives. Depriving yourself of that will worsen your mental health


farrenkm t1_jeh3zhq wrote

Agreed. It's not clear if OP meant completely, or just distancing from toxic people. Toxic people, absolutely; completely, not as a general position on mental health. (There's probably a small minority of people for whom this would work, but not many.)

But in terms of eliminating toxic people, family members aren't sacred here. If you have a parent, sibling, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc. who doesn't do your mental health any favors, it's okay to cut them out of you need to. Consider it carefully, but if it needs to be done, it's okay to do it.


Protect_Wild_Bees t1_jegvmzc wrote

Sometimes cutting that connection can also be a very kind and respectful thing to do.

If you know that person is going to hurt you, cause chaos, make you angry and disappointed, one of the best things I think you can do sometimes is cut your losses so you don't keep hurting eachother, or they can no longer fail you.

Had to do this with my father and at the time I did it out of trauma and anger, but I keep it going so in my mind, he never has to hurt me again. he never has to worry about me being angry, totally betrayed and disappointed by his behaviour ever again. I like to think maybe he doesn't want that.

Whether he does or not, I see it better for us both.


keepthetips t1_jeflrn8 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.


BreakfastBeerz t1_jeg19n1 wrote

*takes a drag from a cigarette

So you don't say?????


Alen0tv t1_jegbb2m wrote

Ture. You don't realize how big of a deal this is until you do it, some people just drag you into their negative energy field and you're not even aware of how deep in you are...


GMonet4Eva t1_jegx1zk wrote

I had a childhood best friend become increasingly mean/condescending/ dismissive to me and always in front of our shared group of friends. Would only hear from her via a text on my bday and I’d she needed a ride somewhere. I started distancing myself and was so full of anger/hurt confusion because I would still see her a group gatherings. Then the COVID lockdown hit and it was such a relief not to be run into her. The break gave me time to not be so worked up about it and I ended up reaching out to her to basically let her know why I was distancing and ti ask why she was treating me so terribly. Hard convo but I think necessary in my case because I was still going to see her as alert of our friend group and she was apologetic and acknowledged her behavior which is as much as I can ask. This was a massive weight off my heart and mind and I feel better about telling her how I felt out of respect for a 15+ friendship. For folks who I don’t know that long- I have always been quick to not stick around in part because of the hard time I endured with my ex bestie.


h4terade t1_jegxtqn wrote

Years back I packed up and moved my family from my hometown to a new place. After I signed all the paperwork on the new house and everything I found out that an old highschool friend lived in the same town. We were tight growing up so I reached out. Turned out he had a kid the same age as mine and we were only going to live about a mile from each other. I thought it was going to be cool, being so close to a friend, kids the same age, boy was I wrong. It turns out that sometimes people don't change at all. This dude was exactly the same as in highschool. He was all about getting stoned and get-rich-quick schemes. I really didn't enjoy the time I spent with him, but figured if I'm just going to be sitting around drinking beer, might as well have someone to drink with, then it got worse. We would hang out all day Saturday, he was also one of those dudes that couldn't take the hint that it was time to leave, I'd literally be brushing my teeth for bed and he still wouldn't get it, anyways, then he would call me or text me every single day trying to hang out and would get offended if I didn't answer the phone or return his texts. I finally had to tell him that I have a job, a family, I can't hang out every single day, or even every single week. It would seem like he got it, but then the next time we hung out he'd go right back to calling and texting every day. I finally just started ignoring him outright and eventually he stopped calling and texting. Turns out his son is kind of a cock and my son didn't like hanging out with him anyways so I just wrote the whole experience off. I still live right down the street from him and run into him while out and about from time to time, I just nod and keep moving. It's kind of a shame really, he's a cool dude but his clinginess and lack of motivation in general just made him too toxic to keep in my life. At least now I don't dread my phone ringing or being in my yard fearing his car would pull up. Sometimes it's worth it cutting people out of your life.


azulshotput t1_jeh2qxo wrote

Terrible LPT. Most people struggle to connect with others and are prone to loneliness. Also most people have distancing behaviors that they aren’t even aware of. If anything, most of us need to spend more time with others not less.


ChronWeasely t1_jeh34xy wrote

If you realize you are surrounded by toxic people maybe check on what you are doing to meet so many toxic people and recognize what you need to change too. Realized without actively seeking people out, unhappy people glom onto me.


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aYANKinEIRE t1_jegdbb9 wrote

The Banshees of Inisherin basically.


icetom t1_jegokbc wrote

If you consider cutting off your fingers healthy.