LPT: If you call a company to speak to customer service but the automated menu won't let you talk to a real person, say "Upgrade my account" instead of "Refund" or "Cancel," when the automated menu asks you to state why you're calling. You will immediately be transferred to a real person

Submitted by BigSpoonFullOfSnark t3_1227lb8 in LifeProTips

Businesses make it difficult as possible to cancel their services or ask for refunds. One way they do this is by encouraging users to call an automated help line instead of talking to a real person.

It's in the company's interest to process as few refunds as possible, which is why the automated help line will never let you reach a real person if you complain. If you say "refund" or "cancel," they'll send you to another automated line or direct you to their app or help articles.

Fortunately, companies will usually have a live person answer if there's a chance to upsell you, so you can use this to trick the automated menu to connect you to an actual person. Once that happens say "I made a mistake, please transfer me to the line where they can process my refund."

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Comments

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The_Safe_For_Work t1_jdp6mdy wrote

"Hi, you'd like to upgrade your account?"

"Actually, I wish to cancel it."

"Ah, back on hold for you, ya little grifting bastard."

1,380

fiddlenutz t1_jdp8ars wrote

This is how it works. They need to send you to the retention team and not sales.

Horrible LPT.

You really want to speak with someone. Don’t say a word in the voice prompts. It will transfer you to a live person usually.

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raquetracket t1_jdpzfh6 wrote

I didn’t hear your response. Goodbye

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FlyingSpagetiMonsta t1_jdq6kgl wrote

This is what happens if you stay silent.

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The_RockObama t1_jdqz35g wrote

For all other inquiries, press 10.

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Biojack0 t1_jdu2c1o wrote

"To mark this message as urgent, press eleven." 'There is no eleven, you fucking whore!' -Church, Red vs Blue

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jelliott79 t1_jdrww86 wrote

Knowing my luck, I'd stay silent and get the 'ol "we've been trying to reach you regarding..."

Hard pass. I'll just curse into the phone, as usual. Half the time it works 100% of the time.

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toejamandtoast t1_jdrhts7 wrote

Yep have had this happen multiple times. Also happens if you say operator or representative too many times.

They know.

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PrincessKatyusha t1_jdrgsug wrote

I have to schedule medical transportation (rides to doctor appointments paid for by insurance) a lot and maybe a year ago they added an automated system. Half the time it can't understand me, the other half I go through the whole process of giving it the info to schedule the ride and at the end (a whole half hour of progress) it goes, without fail, "I'm sorry, I'm having trouble processing this. Let me get you someone who can help." And I have to give all the info AGAIN to a damn live agent! It's so aggravating! I make a complaint to the agent every time because I've asked and they said they do make a report to their management when people do. They hate it too.

Oh and if you don't say anything it just hangs up, no words.

There used to be a way to skip the automated stuff by saying "other" when it asked why you were calling but they patched that out I guess because now it just doesn't do anything other than give a tiny bit of info and send you back.

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HaikuBotStalksMe t1_jdq4fjz wrote

"I'm sorry, I did not hear your response. Please state the reason for your call ...

...

...

I'm sorry, I did not hear your response. Good bye!"

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drJanusMagus t1_jdsdhuf wrote

this has happened to me a few times when I was saying the reason lol.

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wildadragon t1_jdpdmpq wrote

Or input the wrong info multiple times.

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theplushpairing t1_jdpoygz wrote

0 0 0 or agent

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trv2003 t1_jdqjy4y wrote

0's got me auto disconnected last time I tried that.

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isaac9092 t1_jdqs0b4 wrote

Yeah these tips really don’t work for the larger companies anymore. The only real power we have is to have the perseverance to eventually get a person, then explicitly telling them exactly where their company can shove it after they’ve assisted you (of course remind them it’s nothing personal against the person, the company is just shit)

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Cetun t1_jdrqlzm wrote

Ive used ones that will hang up on you if you do that. Or if it can't understand what you're saying, it just hangs up on you .

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ItIsAnOkayLife t1_jdq816i wrote

Wellllllll the title says you will be transfered to a real person right away. They didn't say that the person could help ya.

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boodlesgalore t1_jdq2ps1 wrote

Not every company has retention team or sales team. Most companies have customer service agents that do everything. It's not that horrible. It's something I've been doing for years, except I don't say upgrade, I just ask a different question.

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DragoonDM t1_jdq4i7n wrote

Saying "representative" has usually worked for me.

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DMOrange t1_jdqm2yq wrote

This is so true. I worked at Comcast as a “Customer Account Executive” aka salesperson. Any time anyone would want to cancel, we would have to transfer them. We simply didn’t have the ability to cancel plans on our systems.

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OutlanderMom t1_jdqsnuy wrote

Push # or zero repeatedly when the robot talks. That usually gets me a human operator.

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ImARedJay t1_jdqo0ej wrote

Or just say that you'd like to speak to a representative. The automated voice will usually stop in it's tracks to redirect the line to costumer service.

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Guy954 t1_jdu23fy wrote

Lol, what year are you living in? That doesn’t work anymore.

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Edgezg t1_jdrgj17 wrote

What this does is bypas the wait.
You get more directly transfered to the right persona and are more liekly to handle a real person than a machine

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Turbulent-Pea-8826 t1_jds9u9r wrote

It so much depends on how they set it up. Sometimes it will work sometimes it won’t. Sometimes if you pick the prompt for Spanish you will get someone who speaks Spanish but they usually also speak English. So sometimes that works.

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Suspicious_Hotel9219 t1_je18u0t wrote

Best shot, say something weird. System recognizes that you're trying to say something and will verify a bunch of times and then get you to someone. Pressing random buttons or staying silent is more likely to result in disconnect or etc because it has been engineered to do that to discourage people trying to skip the line.

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klydsp t1_jdrf9sx wrote

Usually if I say "representative " that gets me to a person.

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4rp4n3t t1_jdp6uxl wrote

> You will immediately be transferred to a real person

And that person will be a sales person, and nine times out of 10, as soon as they discover you're not trying to buy anything, they'll just loop you back in to the original queue.

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era721 t1_jdq9com wrote

They're actually more likely to be pissed at you. Most companies have metrics in each department that result in bonuses based on certain scores. One score is conversion or sale %. So if you connect with them and have no intention to upgrade service, you'll just bring their metrics down.

If anything, you should say " cancel service". It will transfer you ro retention. And if you tell them you're not looking to cancel, the rep will be happy to help you because as long as you're not canceling it reflects positively on them. They might even give you additional discounts and promotions.

Or just say " representative" and you usually get customer service

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chaot1c-n3utral t1_jdqtzf1 wrote

Not only that I don't give a shit if I'll bring their metrics down, but now that I know of it, I'll be looking forward to do it even more! I fuckin hate sales and marketing.

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Yeas76 t1_jdsqezk wrote

You're calling them, at an inbound call center. You may not like them but you'd be legitimately causing grief to them without any provocation on their part.

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ginkner t1_jdsseg8 wrote

Their companies policies regarding the customer service they're selling is the provocation.

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Yeas76 t1_jdssmuh wrote

These are front line workers you're harassing with misplaced justice. They have no control over anything you're associating to them.

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ginkner t1_jdstgfl wrote

Harrasing is not what I'm advocating for, but overall, if the company loses money if they're sales reps are busy dealing with customer service calls, that directly puts pressure on them to improve the customer service lines.

If customer service requests are clogging up the lines to the point where someone isn't meeting their quota, that's something that the sales reps are going to report to their management. The only problem I have is if the caller is actually being abusive towards the rep, not the mere act of trying to get someone real to talk to.

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era721 t1_jdtizfy wrote

Do you also give a crappy tip to your server when the food didn't taste good? Do you yell at the cleaning crew in a hotel because the hotel didn't let you do a late check out? Do you give a customer service rep who assisted you and answered all your questions a bad score because a sales rep gave you inaccurate information? Don't ruin another person's day just because you're having a bad day. People are just trying to do their job so they can pay their bills. If you are really not happy with the company just leave the company and take your negativity elsewhere. Or better yet, just save everyone the headache and don't purchase service with any company. Since you hate sales and marketing so much, that will show them!

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Insydedan t1_jduhe7h wrote

You may be right, but I don't give a crap. Make it easier to get a human then.

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MoreLikeZelDUH t1_jdso69u wrote

Back into the original queue, but at the end of the line. Worst LPT ever.

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smellygooch18 t1_jdt0udp wrote

This is what I used to do when I worked phone sales for a larger company. I couldn’t help you if I wanted to.

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdpb0gu wrote

If there is a person they can transfer you to, they usually will. Be polite and explain you're getting nowhere with the automated system.

They have no incentive to interrogate you. It's in their best interest to transfer you as quickly as possible and not waste time.

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BrightNooblar t1_jdpunqc wrote

Call center manager here. Under no circumstances do my agents transfer you to a specific person, even if that person is free. You go to the proper transfer queue. That how our call routing works, that how our metrics work.

And most of all, we don't you screwing with Our metrics by incentivizing this approach. The system sees my agent got an 'Upgrade' call. Conversion on people calling to upgrade should be like 90% of them get an upgrade. You just made the agent miss an upgrade, so their best approach is to dump you into queue RIGHT NOW and bank the very fast call for their metrics. Hunting down a real person isn't just against policy, and its not just being extra nice for someone screwing our metrics, its also more time consuming than just yeeting you into the proper line.

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Nexlore t1_jdqj5z2 wrote

Cool, make it easier for us to get to who we need to speak to then. If we could get where we wanted originally, this wouldn't be an issue.

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cheap_walmart_art t1_jdqehi3 wrote

Yup, and as a former call center employee if I have a CS team at a company jerking me around I will sit there all day and wreck your teams AHT out of spite.

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Johnny_Palmer t1_jdqfpwp wrote

And then I get a ticket to tweak the metrics a bit! I’ve implemented rules at 2 call centers now that basically identify these kind of access patterns as “problematic”. The entire master call is removed from all metrics and placed in a bucket for someone to review manually, and I guarantee the 2nd part never happens lol

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axesOfFutility t1_jdqi0uo wrote

Hahaha yes, identify and isolate outliers. Or report the metric with and without them. Or add a small footnote to the metric that outliers were removed and were only 0.1% of total call volume

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Pawn_of_the_Void t1_jdqbplw wrote

Like honestly tho, idt people are gonna care about the metrics from a service that is hostile to them. If someone is getting jerked around when trying to cancel why would they be considerate?

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Striky_ t1_jdqajsv wrote

Well than please don't have people sitting there twirling their thumbs as an upgrade agent all day in case someone wants to upgrade. It is somewhere between outrages and illegal to make ppl wait 2h+ to cancel their contract, while other team members are obviously available.

Sorry but this entire business sector is beyond shady at best

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trainsaw t1_jdqfxok wrote

I don’t think you understand how that type of job works

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pyro314 t1_jdqp1t9 wrote

Yeah fuck call centers and their employees and managers... love this tip, and fuck your metrics I don't give a damn, I don't want to be with your company anymore.

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdr9l0t wrote

>And most of all, we don't you screwing with Our metrics by incentivizing this approach.

Exactly why I shared this tip. These automated systems are designed to benefit the company at the costumer's. Your boss's numbers look better if you can prevent people from cancelling or receiving refunds/credits when their service is disrupted.

But if you're a person who needs a refund but you're got screwed, it's in your best interest to talk to a human being, not a chatbot.

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chaot1c-n3utral t1_jdqu904 wrote

Now that I know of this I'll intentionally try to ruin them sales agents metrics. I fuckin hate sales and marketing people.

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BrightNooblar t1_jdrbiyv wrote

You know its not really sales or marketing, its just data entry, right? They aren't calling you, you are calling THEM saying you want to buy something. They know whatever their product line is, they will try to suggest some bonus package, and thats about it. Its the same shit as anyone working the register at best buy offering you a warranty on your USB drive.

Outbound call centers are incredibly rare these days.

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grumblyoldman t1_jdqlr3r wrote

"Transferring you" === "dump you back into the same automated system you were just in."

Or possibly "Put you in the same queue you would've gone into if you had just said 'cancel' in the first place."

The only thing you've actually accomplished is wasting your own time and theirs.

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RussellZoloft t1_jdp5vvb wrote

Not necessarily. If you say something unrelated to what you actually need, you may be transferred to someone who can't help you, and then, they will have to transfer you to the correct queue, essentially slowing down you getting help.

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bumbumbillum t1_jdqfh1m wrote

There isn’t a clear answer to any of this.

I’ve seen set ups where all the reps were essentially equal but the queue prioritized sales calls do they wouldn’t abandon.

Also seen what you are describing but transfers were also prioritized so you still came out ahead.

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farfromfine t1_jdr0ubc wrote

Exactly right for the major telecom I used to work at. Plus, us sales agents would often put you on hold for 3-5mins BEFORE sending you to the line you needed to be on. We called it the "penalty box" for the customers that would say "I know I'm at the wrong department but I couldn't get through. Can you transfer me to billing?"

I sure can, but I'm going to put you on hold and go get a cup of coffee before I do send you. I'll also note that you didn't verify your account correctly to make you go through extra verification when you do eventually get where you're going.

You hurt my sales metrics, which affects my commission, so I'm going to make your call take 10 minutes longer than it would if you had just cooperated instead of trying to skip the line.

Sometimes accounts had grandfathered in discounts or should have been disconnected but were given a courtesy extension. You can bet those will be removed as well to "correct" your account.

Don't mess with people's money, especially when they're only getting $15/hr + commission

−5

aKnightWh0SaysNi t1_jdpkt2c wrote

This is stupid. What experience makes you feel qualified to present this as a universal tip?

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Prata2pcs t1_jdpom4h wrote

Upgrade my account to cancellation status

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Wishihadcable t1_jdpowev wrote

This is dumb. This will just get you transferred to the wrong department.

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdr80n8 wrote

The tip is to talk to a human when you're being kept out by an automated menu.

First you'll be transferred to a human in the wrong department. If you are polite and ask them simply to transfer you to a human that can process your request, they will.

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lock_ed t1_jdrfut1 wrote

I’ve worked in quite a few call centres and this isn’t true in my experience. You’ll get a human from sales that can’t help who will just transfer you to the queue for the correct department (retention, cancellations, or whatever they call it). Unless there’s literally zero wait time for the cancellation department they’ll just cold transfer you to the queue for it and you’ll be back waiting.

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdrklk6 wrote

The trick is not to talk to the lowest ranking person in the call center. They don't have the authority to help you, so they waste your time and try to send you back to the queue.

If you know how to get past them and through to their boss, they'll get it done in 2 minutes. I've gotten refunds, discounted monthly rate, reversals of charges, etc from banks cell phone companies, gyms by just knowing how to get someone on the phone who has the authority to process such a request.

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UmbraNight t1_jdrn8ca wrote

ah do you use your force call powers to get to the mananger every time icic

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdrp568 wrote

Talking to the right person for 2 minutes will usually get you what you need if you have good people skills on the phone.

−6

cleanbot t1_jdpneyd wrote

just say the word 'operator' over and over until they realize you are a real honest stupid person and connect you with another

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bingold49 t1_jdpd4hw wrote

You're gonna get transferred to the wrong person though

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brokefixfux t1_jdp53oz wrote

“CEO” probably won’t work, but imagine if it did?

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdp5cv3 wrote

CEO's don't even talk to happy customers, much less unhappy ones.

CEO's don't even talk to their own employees.

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KoalaGrunt0311 t1_jdpu1yk wrote

But they need to leave and arrive at the office at some point. Accordingly, you just need to find out from security when that is and intercept them between their vehicle and getting in the building.

At least it worked in Chicago Fire.

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xCeeTeeRdt t1_jdq5x4k wrote

The CEO of my company visits us at least once a year (alongside the other 3k stores we have) and frequently engages in town hall style meetings with staff.

He's still shit at what he does but he absolutely does speak to everybody.

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mediumokra t1_jdqpiug wrote

I have worked at 3 different call centers in my life and not once did I ever even SEE the CEO, much less talk to whoever it was.

​

Someone called me once knowing the CEO's name and asked for him by name. I thought it was another call center rep she spoke to, but then she told me it's the CEO of the company. I told her I don't have his extension, nor do I even know who that is. YOU are the one that told me the CEO's name so how am I going to know how to transfer you to him?

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Andrea_Leigh t1_jdpezwq wrote

I thought everyone knows you just press 0...

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boodlesgalore t1_jdq3084 wrote

Most cs #s will hang up on you if you smash 0 now. The really wanna know what you're calling about.

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HaikuBotStalksMe t1_jdq4lxc wrote

But the menu has recently changed!

Also, we're experiencing higher than normal volume of calls.

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drJanusMagus t1_jdsevzn wrote

Haha I know at least two places I call regularly that have literally always said this for the past 3 years.

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BeigeAlmighty t1_jdpyd5z wrote

Problem: You will often get someone who cannot cancel your account or grant you a refund.

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dertechie t1_jdqrrun wrote

And that’s after you waited on hold to be told they can’t help you. If you’re lucky, they might get you to the right queue. If you’re not, I hope you like hold music.

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SillyRabbit3490 t1_jdpqeql wrote

You only get there faster because their queue is shorter. Then you risk get transferred to the lowest level of customer service who at that point may not be able to help you resulting in being transferred or them taking forever cause they're having to IM or call someone else to help. While automated systems can be annoying the goal is to get you to the right rep the 1st time. I worked in a call center for 6 years and the number of people who needed something else but just hit my department (payments) trying to get clever but would get so nasty when they realize they were being put back in queue was hilarious

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blenderdead t1_jdrx19u wrote

Yeah, so you’re fucking over some poor schmucks conversion numbers, and more than likely they will just put you on hold again.

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdrzmdd wrote

I’ve been that poor schmuck. If someone called me, I had to sit there and troubleshoot them and do everything in my power to stop them from getting refunded.

If the call went straight to my boss, he would process the refund and the call would be over in 90 seconds.

If I get through to a low ranking person I tell them “hey I know this isn’t your fault, and also that you’re probably not authorized to process my request. Your company screwed up, and if if you transfer me to your boss, they can probably resolve this in 2 minutes.”

1

blenderdead t1_jdrzzbv wrote

I hate when bosses do that. The process they give you to follow is fucking torture, but they just press the buttons and move on…

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jds19t1 wrote

Exactly. If you run a department, processing a $50 credit for interrupting someone’s service is no big deal. It is a much better use of their time to process it than to fight you for 30 minutes.

But a low ranking customer service person? The train you to exhaust literally every other option in the book, and when you finally have to grant the discount, they hold it against you.

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Feverrunsaway t1_jdppmgk wrote

i have good luck with help paying bill

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dfreinc t1_jdp6cpw wrote

just put it on speaker, pop the phone on your desk, press 0 everyone second or two till you get somebody.

source: hate speaking to robots. people barely make out shit i say.

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chibinibblets t1_jdpi3pw wrote

They hang up on you now if you do this.

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dfreinc t1_jdpiirc wrote

not in my experience. wait for the prompt. always press zero.

you cannot spam zero like a child.

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w33dcup t1_jdqpi6q wrote

Like many others have said, this is a terrible LPT. You're just wasting time and goodwill which will result in you not getting what you want. If you aren't thrown back into queue, the person you get to will 'warm xfer' you to the other dept. The 'warm xfer' is first agent calling 2nd agent and saying something like "this joker called me to get out of the system to talk about a refund so handle accordingly (nudge nudge"). 2nd agent will take call and then deny your request because you were basically trying to be sneaky and waste others time. See how that works? So just use the system and get to the right person. That's what it's designed for. If you don't like the system or can't xfer, then use chat or email.

Here's a copy/paste of my answer to another "LPT" about automated systems.

I built these systems for a couple decades and these LPTs are getting annoying. There is no secret to any of it. It all depends on the individual design choices. Some companies don't want you to talk to an agent so no amount of pressing 0 or * or # will get you there.....ever.

It's not like there is a documented set of ISO design standards for IVRs. Sure there are best practices, but management will ultimately decide when/if you talk to someone.

Edit: Ok, rant over. You want tips from a designer?

Tip 1: try using the system. You might be surprised at how much time it could save you. It also helps keep costs lower by reducing operating costs of having much more expensive agents handle your rote transaction.

Tip 2: Option not available in the IVR? Ok, listen for the option to transfer. If it's not there, then try 0. If using a speech reco system, say agent or representative or person. In speech reco, you have to pass or fail a defined grammar of responses. A well designed system might have these. I say might because if the company doesn't want you to transfer, you won't no matter what you say or push.

Tip 3: You will likely have to fail 2 or 3 times. Many of these systems are designed to handle your error and prompt again, and again. That's right, there's error handling and call recovery designed in.

Tip 4: As someone else said, some of these systems do sentiment analysis. If you sound angry or frustrated, they will detect that prompt accordingly (maybe next prompt will ask if you want to speak to someone). These are likely companies with lots of money and focus on customer service....so not that many. This feature is pretty expensive.

TL;DR there's no one trick that works because each system is uniquely designed and has unique feature set. Don't like the phone system? Use email or chat instead.

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdr8hec wrote

>The 'warm xfer' is first agent calling 2nd agent and saying something like "this joker called me to get out of the system

This is not what happens. These people are busy. It's in their interest to transfer you to the correct line and get back to work, not call and conspire with other departments to teach you about the automated menu.

−1

Kelsarad01 t1_jdryp6t wrote

As someone who also builds these IVRs, it might actually be in an agents interest to warm transfer you because they just took an easy call and can waste time waiting/talking with the next agent while appearing busy. Depends on the agent, but this is common.

Also if pressing 0 or saying operator doesn’t get you to a live person, the chances of “upgrade my account” working is almost 0.

3

w33dcup t1_jdss81x wrote

After decades in call centers I can assure you this is what is happening better than 80% of the time.

3

Usual-Plankton5948 t1_jdsup81 wrote

Tell me you've never worked in a call center before without telling me you've never worked in a call center before 😂

1

hdmx539 t1_jdspp9d wrote

Did that once, was immediately put on hold because that person didn't do cancellations since they were "sales."

This does not always work.

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdssptt wrote

If they make you hold too long just call them back. Once they realize it's easier to just let someone else deal with you, they'll transfer you to whoever the right person is.

1

hdmx539 t1_jdssyzk wrote

Apparently, by reading the other responses, what I described is frequent. Companies are not dumb.

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdstof9 wrote

I agree companies are not dumb. They create these automated systems because they know it will dissuade the vast majority of customers who are filing complaints or requesting refunds.

The whole system is designed to prevent you from talking to the right person based on which prompts you choose. If you're not able to get through to someone, you need to answer the prompts in a way that is more likely to route you to a human.

1

sonicduckman t1_jdp4lwz wrote

Say random swears works as well

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdp5av9 wrote

I have found this is not the case. Customers who are angry and yelling random swears are more likely to get what they want from customer service.

The automated menus are designed to make sure unsatisfied customers never reach another human being in the organization.

−10

soaper410 t1_jdpc0ac wrote

Also I’d you have a strong southern accent (American) the machine won’t understand why you are saying and transfer you much faster. I assume this is also true with other strong accents.

Source: Me.

2

ElasticEel t1_jdq8j38 wrote

Real LPT: Never call customer service, it's a trap

2

1214siege t1_jdqdrtv wrote

You can always say agent

2

InterestingRead2022 t1_jdqgns0 wrote

Side note to this: The Cancellation team is usually actually called the Retentions team as their job is literally talking you into staying.

2

204gaz00 t1_jdr18tc wrote

If you want to cancel your service the best thing I've heard is to say you are moving to a different part of the country

2

scalability t1_jdscwui wrote

Don't lie or fib. It's demeaning. You have the right to cancel if you want.

When they ask why you're cancelling, just say "decline to state" to skip the retention script. They hate going through it more than you hate listening to it, but they get fired if you give them a reason and they don't.

1

eliseski t1_jdr7vt4 wrote

I had a bug for a few years with my cell phone plan that meant I got tranfered to a different company the second i inputed my number to the auto system. (new company got assigned numbers to from old company but new company didnt have service in my area so I couldnt switch) As a result I always called as a new customer and then got transfered through to the right department. Now that the new company closed the bug is fixed but going through the regular channels to try to change my plan i gave up it before getting through. I think I might try phoning as a new customer again.

2

UmbraNight t1_jdrn1pb wrote

if you can’t get to a real person you can try a) cursing like a sailor b) outbotting the bot by saying representative over and over. if the company isn’t complete shiza, one of these should work

2

BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdrpfd9 wrote

>if the company isn’t complete shiza, one of these should work

I've actually found that the biggest companies are the ones who make it hardest to reach a live person. They've done the math and have figured out how to extract as much money from customers as possible with as little human effort as required.

If you can actually get routed to someone with the authority to process a refund, they know giving you what you want is cheaper than arguing with you for 20 minutes.

1

UmbraNight t1_jdrqm9o wrote

i mean everybody and their mama at this point has said ur wrong so… ion know about allat

3

dergrioenhousen t1_jdsc3c0 wrote

Another pro tip: swear at the automated system. Well-designed call trees will skip everything possible and just try to find a human who can help.

Now, swearing at the human may lead to a disconnect, so…

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Qcgreywolf t1_jdt4inv wrote

“Please speak in a natural tone how I can help you today.”

“Hwrrrrr nrrrgrrr reeccckkkt”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that, how can I help you today? I am a natural language agent, just speak normally.”

“Wrrrrrrer nnnnnnnnnfffttt drgrrrr”

“Let me connect you to a representative.”

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdt5b3m wrote

The important lesson is, if you answer the prompts straightforward, they'll never route you to a person who can help.

You have to give an unexpected/unclear answer if you want to reach a real person.

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keepthetips t1_jdp3s73 wrote

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1

cuntiecung t1_jdpn6ly wrote

You can also say FUCK YOU and honestly it works.

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Accomplished-Path992 t1_jdpsn2p wrote

Working with IVR systems before, if prompts you to provide a response and you curse at it, it will bring you to a live person. Maybe not the right one but still.

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knuckboy t1_jdqaqtd wrote

Is it translation Sunday?

1

alex97480 t1_jdqc83k wrote

Just say something like human, agent, real person, no robot, speak to a manager and that should trigger it

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Peebo_Peebs t1_jdqctjo wrote

Alternately just keep pressing zero it 99% of time takes you to an agent.

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DMcI0013 t1_jdqfcff wrote

I asked the robot to talk to a real person the other day and it instantly put me through. I was pretty surprised.

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under_the_c t1_jdqiifo wrote

"No problem sir, let me transfer you to our retention department. Have a wonderful day sir"

Damnit

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Sudden-Ad-8377 t1_jdqj3u9 wrote

I’ve recorded many IVA, and I’d strongly suggest just saying Customer Service. IVA’s are trained to listen for key words. If the key word is not “programmed” then you’ll just be disconnected.

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leonlatsch t1_jdqkv1w wrote

Also when using chat bots. The keyword is „agent“. Most of the time this will connect you to a real person.

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level100metapod t1_jdqmhe9 wrote

Most of the time when i do it i just dont say anything and after they go through the menu a few times it connects to a real person

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ZephLair t1_jdqq9fc wrote

I've found that if you speak some gibberish then they'll usually direct you to where you need to be. Just any time they ask a question, just speak gibberish.

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SuperMack99 t1_jdqrk4b wrote

You can sometimes just swear at the machine loudly for the same effect.

1

Zealousideal_Fox_283 t1_jdqsc19 wrote

You'll get a salesperson who will then transfer you to someone else. If it's a real shit company, they'll transfer you back to the IVR, and you'll have to do it all over again. In most cases, saying agent on an automated line or pressing 0 works.

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Vq-Blink t1_jdqsfeo wrote

The real LPT is that in a voice or keypad entry prompt 0 gets you to the operator 99%of the time. Sometimes it will fight back by saying “I understand you want to speak to someone but we need more information” press it a few more times and the phone will just start ringing.

The longest I had to go was pressing it 7 or 8 times with comcast (my local ISP) who were a pain in the ass to get a hold of. But it eventually worked

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sesamesnapsinhalf t1_jdqtncy wrote

Recording: Congratulations. You’ve now been upgraded to Super Premium and will be charged $99 per month. Thank you for being a loyal customer. Goodbye.

1

ItalianIce15 t1_jdqvg4p wrote

I usually say “speak to a representative” or just keep hitting 0.

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Lokiranea t1_jdqw0cm wrote

So your tip is to get transferred around from department to department and be on hold even longer? This is a slpt, not a lpt.

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curious_carson t1_jdqxml2 wrote

You won't necessarily get the right live person, though. Many companies, especially bigger corporations, will have a dedicated sales team that can't do tech support or even customer service necessarily. So then you have to hope that they know where to transfer you. I don't have a great solution for everyday issues, but if it is something big going public with Google, Trust Pilot, and Yelp reviews has moved mountains, but I don't want to do that for every little thing.

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JorganPubshire t1_jdqy0bj wrote

I usually just hit the # key repeatedly until the system is confused and sends me to a person to figure it out

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smurfsmasher024 t1_jdqygzb wrote

I know that with att if you just keep hitting 1 you’ll break the system and itll send you to a real person eventually. Usually took me about 2-5 min back when i sold phones there, and yes even their own employees have to wait on hold to get through to most of the people who can actually do stuff to your account.

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CTGolfMan t1_jdqzyt5 wrote

‘Speak to agent’ also works.

1

BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdr7quy wrote

Not always. Sometimes "speak to a human" prompts the automated menu to recommend you check out the help topics online.

Seems like that's more and more often the case.

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pumpkinspiceblunts t1_jdr5b4s wrote

Also spamming 0 usually gets you to somebody pretty quickly, keyword being usually.

1

theprettyunicorn t1_jdr8o03 wrote

I've never had an issue with pressing 0 0 0 until I got an agent. It worked with every company I had to call and couldn't reach an agent through their automated menu.

1

toejamandtoast t1_jdri88g wrote

For any call to an automated system I usually throw a huge run-on sentence at them when it says “in a few words tell me how I can help you.”

“I’m calling because I need help with my internet and I just don’t know why it won’t connect and I called last week but no one helped and please help me I just don’t know what to do and I need a representative to help because my internet won’t work.” You have to overwhelm the AI. It will prompt you to try a couple more times (“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that”) so do it again. After a few times it will transfer you to a person.

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Oxide21 t1_jdsceci wrote

🧑 "Upgrade my account"

🤖 "One Moment please"

Opus No. 1 plays

📞 "Thank you for Holding, how can I help you?"

🧏 "My Bad, I am actually looking to cancel my service"

📞 "Sure, let me transfer you to the correct department"

Puts me back in the cue

🤖 Thank you for Holding, All of our representatives are currently busy with other callers, your call is important to us, and we will answer it in the order in which it was received, thank you!

🤦 "I knew this was going to happen"

Waits for 20 minutes while phone is on speaker, waiting to get a call

We're sorry, but the person you're trying to reach has not setup their voicemail box 💅 Good bye💅

1

delboy85 t1_jdsqrvh wrote

Yep, or “make a payment”

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdst7d5 wrote

Exactly. Same concept.

If they think you'll ask for a refund, they'll never let you speak to an actual human being.

If they think they can get money out of you, someone will talk to you right away. Once that person realizes they cannot get any money from you, they will pawn you off to someone else as quickly as possible.

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P4ULUS t1_jdsrcuh wrote

You’ll end up waiting on hold to speak to the upgrade person who will then put you back on hold as you wait for the cancel person

1

andi_bk t1_jdswa5r wrote

Actually, as natural language processing improves it might happen that one day it’ll just upgrade your account instead. Swearing are said to be working (and safer)

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdswrxr wrote

Swearing often does not work. Especially with the big banks and cell phone companies, the automated menu does not care how angry you get.

Companies won't automatically upgrade your account without you approving it. Especially because if you need something like additional business licenses, they don't even know how much to charge you unless you talk to a representative.

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MannyBeatsProd t1_jdswafv wrote

Uttering an expletive usually works too...

1

awetsasquatch t1_jdsy9ka wrote

You can also say Representative and it'll get you the same result. Failing that, certain companies will pick up on excessive cursing and get you someone asap

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armathose t1_jdsyr27 wrote

I just keep repeating operator, after a few goes it transfers me to a human. This is like a 95% succes rate.

1

jbfletcher01 t1_jdsz6dy wrote

I’ve heard that if you agree to take the survey afterwards you’ll get through much faster…not sure how true but anecdotally I feel my calls get picked up faster when I do.

1

beetjuice98 t1_jdtefj8 wrote

I did this with the landlord of my apartment complex. Every time I pressed “4” for the option of “I am a resident with a question” I got voicemail that was never returned. When I pressed “1” for “I would like more information about leasing an apartment” I got someone before the second ring.

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BigSpoonFullOfSnark OP t1_jdtlfl4 wrote

Exactly. Automated menus are how rich companies screen people who they don’t want to deal with.

−1

Captain-Top t1_jdtp1t9 wrote

I usually don't say anything....so frustrating!!

1

tom1981BEL t1_jdul0gt wrote

Then they say we can't transfer it's a different department.

Had that happen to me.

Infuriating!

1

Effendoor t1_jdqtbvg wrote

Followup.

When you get a real person, ask to speak to a manager. Don't elaborate on why until you get to. The manager.

Managers are much more likely to help or be able to get you where you want.

It's not a surefire answer as automated phone systems are the actual devil, but it works more often than being in queue

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drJanusMagus t1_jdsf8x0 wrote

A lot of times you might have to leave a voicemail for the manager. They will probably call you back, but it might be a little while.

2