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BaldBear_13 t1_je1dri3 wrote

First, congrats on figuring out the parenting routine. Plenty of people struggle to get anything done while taking care of a small child.

Your problem sounds like it is more about your motivations.

Do enjoy the company of your partner so much that you forget to clean? If so, maybe get them to join in?

Or you do not want to disturb him while you clean? Then identify the chores that you can do while they are there.

Or is it something about sharing the workload of chores? Like you feel it's their turn to clean? Or you do not want to pressure them into cleaning by doing it in front of them? That stuff is just something you need to talk about.

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dandelionbaaby OP t1_je1h42z wrote

Thank you! These are some super helpful starting point for me to think about.. I’m not sure why it’s hard for me so the first step seems like figuring that out! Honestly all of those questions could be a simple yes depending on the day! Lol

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BaldBear_13 t1_je1hfbs wrote

or maybe you are simply tired by the time your partner gets home :)

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Thaaaaaaa t1_je2l8ux wrote

I'm a father of two, 9yo and 6yo. My s/o and I both have this problem, and from what we've experienced, and keep in mind, just our experience, we just want to hang out with each other. Working all day, taking care of the kids all day+all the housework, it's lame. And when I get home from work, we just want to lay up and watch some shows, make sure kids are fed, homeworks done etc... Then re-gear to do it all again tomorrow. Parenting, whether you stay at home or be the breadwinner, is pretty tireless. However you can work out a routine, divide labor, and find your balance is going to be what it's going to be.

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Pokinator t1_je1zp2w wrote

It also begs the question of who this concern is coming from.

Has OP's partner expressed issues with stuff not getting done in the evenings, or does OP feel anxiety about their productivity tanking once their partner comes home?

For my two cents, as long as the critical tasks are getting done, the child is having their needs met, and the relationship is happy, it's okay for both partners to slow down in the evenings and enjoy some recharge time.

Keeping a grind-set mentality and always stressing about the next thing that needs to get done is a fast track to burnout.A few tasks getting delayed is better than mentally crashing and none of them getting done.

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dandelionbaaby OP t1_je2mrle wrote

The only issue my partner has expressed is wishing I’d throw his work clothes in the wash more often, instead of his every day lounging clothes lol. That’s easily resolved by him reminding me though! All the essential tasks are done always, we never have NO clean dishes, clothes, towels, etc. I would say my anxiety comes mostly from when he is home on weekends, or has extra days off work and my usual get it all done while he’s at work routine gets messed with! It’s almost like I get stage fright cleaning in front of people, or my cleaning style just doesn’t mesh well with other body’s in the house.. I know what works BEST for me, I’m definitely hoping I can get some tips to find what works just okay for me in terms of cleaning if there’s people home

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coconut-bubbles t1_je3bn0f wrote

If you do laundry 2x per week, is the issue doing laundry or the amount of work clothes they have? You shouldn't have to do laundry 5x per week just for work clothes. Or, if finances are a problem with buying new alternate work clothes, can you work out a system? For example: you do laundry on Sundays and Wednesdays. If they need more, they throw in loads themselves

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Independent_Snow1458 t1_je39fgf wrote

So true. We all need to rest and spend time with loved ones even if we have to put off some things on our to do list.

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Columbus43219 t1_je1gmpw wrote

Tell them you can have sex as soon as you're done cleaning.

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