Submitted by travelcasket t3_125ev7y in LifeProTips
Especially at night it's really bad and I get worked up over things that are probably not going to happen. I get really angry over those thoughts and can't get a rest anymore. (FYI, therapy is not common or easily available here.)
Yes, this!
We don’t have to believe our thoughts. Our brains produce unhelpful thoughts all the time – and there’s nothing helpful about a thought spiral, especially when you’d rather be sleeping.
Notice when the thought first arises, and give it a label “wrong path” or “mean thought” or whatever. Then remember that you decided to take a different path – maybe imagine yourself exploring in nature to find a new path.
There are lots of ways to use metaphor and visualization (if that works for you) to help manage the unhelpful thoughts.
You can also think about what you’d tell a close friend if they were having similar thoughts. Or what your young self needed to hear as support.
Look into CBT for more info.
Good luck!
I try to escape into a story, a memory or thought that made me happy. Helps for a bit, but not longlasting so far. Thank you very much for your words!
The key is not to ignore the thoughts; acknowledge them! During the day think about what kind of thoughts they are, and why they are unhelpful. Then at night you can remind yourself; it’s this thought again; I don’t need to believe it because (insert reason you came up with in the daytime).
And then you can move on to other stories.
Thank you for your thoughts, I appreciate it very much and will try to create new paths! It is not dark thoughts, just things that are not in my control... how high will a certain bill be, will they overcharge me, what can I do against that, should I maybe consider talking to a lawyer.. I even have discussions in my mind that are not likely to ever happen. It's exhausting. Online therapy is also not a thing in my country, therapy around here is for people with severe mental health issues like depression or severe anxiety, which I have in a very mild form, but I consider myself mostly okay. Talking to someone would be great, though.
Depending what languages you speak, you may be able to access services from another country. There are many organisations and therapists in the UK for example - assuming youre able to afford the session fee, this could be an option! One final thought (and i do understand the examples you give from my own experience) - if you suffer what may be, then what is, and then what was, you have suffered the same event 3 times. Prepare, of course, where something is in your circle of control, or your circle of influence. But if its not, then maybe reminding yourself that worrying wont affect it could help. Good luck, and you're not alone in experiencing these things!
Thank you very much, I will look into online sessions I think. You are absolutely right, it makes absolutely no sense to try and control things I simply cannot control. Most of the time, nothing bad happens, it's just my mind going places. But it affects my mood, my sleep, my daily life and I absolutely want to change those patterns. I know I can, I just don't know how. So thanks again for taking time to share your thoughts, it helped!
Learn how to meditate and don't borrow trouble.
I actually do, but probably not often enough, I rarely find the time. A lame excuse, I know...
About a year ago I started to meditate every day for at least 10 minutes. I have stopped thinking all day now. I am fine. The start was hard sometimes, but after a week I noticed already a difference in thinking. The difference between a year ago and now is huge. Now I am more patient, nice to people, happy all day.
I'm happy that you're feeling great! I will do my best and try to meditate a few minutes every day.
i suffer from the same thing.. sometimes i try to focus on my breathing, the feeling of the spot over my top lip(coming out my nose) and every time my thoughts come up I try to let them go and focus on that spot,and the breath going over it.
I've heard about trying to keep your eyes open just a sliver, i gotta Remeber to try that..
best wishes friend
I am familiar with those techniques, but can't really keep them up for longer than a few minutes. But I will work on it. Thank you!
For me, it was realizing that nothing matters, so I stopped giving a shit, and when I did that, my mental health improved. But hey, that’s me. I became more /r/nihilism in nature. But maybe it won’t work for you, worth a shot though. Optimistic nihilism
I admire people who are able to do that, I'm just not one of them. I worry a lot about small things, nothing does ever not matter. I think about things no one probably ever thinks of, and I always await the worst outcome possible. I just do not have the right mindset, I believe.
What works for me is Audiobooks to drown out my own thought train and switch to visualise the story.
A very useful trick that provides immediate results - when you notice you are going into a roller coaster of bad or anxious thoughts you need to distract your brain for a minute to break this cycle. What will work instantly is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique - try to identify:
This is known to help people with anxiety attacks but the concept works equally well when you catch yourself spiraling bad thoughts.
I know that one from when I used to have panic attacks as a teenager (not anymore). Might try it again, it was very useful back then. Thank you for reminding me!
I suffer from this and it drives me crazy
I feel you. Hope it get's better!
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Buddhism, my friend. It’s not really a religion, just offers guidelines to live a peaceful internal life. I’d start with Secular Buddhism podcast by Noah Rasheta
Unfortunatly I need absolute silence to even try to fall asleep. I am very sensitive to noise. And in that silence I think the most.
Shift over to thinking about your book or fan fiction that you're going to write. Not the prose at first, but the story line, the character development, the world stage, the rules of the magic.
IncomprehensibleGoat t1_je3z26b wrote
You can oberve your thoughts coming up? That means they are something happening to you, like hearing a sound or smelling a smell. Its important to remember that though we may not be able to affect what appears in our experience, we can affect how we respond to it.
If you imagine a field of grass to be your brain, your mental pathways, the more you've gone around this carousel, the more a well worn path appears in the grass, and you default to walking it. Unfortunately, the path that is worn in at the moment is there due to various factors inside and outside of your control.
Important: Be aware there are good online professional services that can assist with therapy these days - I recommend exploring them, especially if your mind goes to very dark places. You don't need to face this alone.
However, you can develop the ability to choose if you wish to engage with the thoughts that come up. This is hard, as its like choosing to walk through the grass, not on the well worn path. You will be pushing against your own habits and neurology. This is not easy, but it is worthwhile. However, with repeated regular practice, you can form a well worn path of your choosing, with more positive effects. Its not a magic bullet though, and even with experience, you'll find yourself being dragged along by thoughts sometimes, but it gets easier to haul yourself out of them.
As an example of how, there are different 'mindfulness' type meditation practices, where you 'practice' the process of observing the thoughts and letting them go. Its hard to start with, and you'll find yourself getting caught up still. But gradually you can define your own mental pathway, and more easily switch off of the negative one. Check out vippassana meditation if you need a starting point for searching, but there are many different types.
Good luck, and do also seek professional assistance (online if you need to) - having another person to bounce these things off of is super helpful.