Sounds like you've gotten snatched by a good old dose of anxiety and overthinking. If possible, see a doctor for a low dose medication to fix that. I can no longer afford my medicine due to loss of insurance. But after ignoring many doctors which said I had anxiety, I finally gave in and agreed to a low dose med. Changed my world! I still thought about all the same things that I dwelled on before. However, I no longer felt the smothering stress of it all. I no longer felt stuck and unable to work on my life and reach toward the things that made my life freer. I was never sad. But, I did feel a heavy weight of dispare in my life. I'm no longer on meds and do struggle with that dispare again. Somehow, now that I'm aware that it really is a brain thing, I cope better than I did before.

Your path is not "less than" that of your friends and family. It's just different. Figure out what YOU enjoy and follow that path. Trying to mimic the lives of others will get you nowhere if it's not "you". God has beautiful things for just you. No need to have the same life as others. 🕊 Think of life as a heavily rained on dirt path. When you slog behind a dozen others, your boots will be bogged down in the muck and mire of others' footsteps. Find your own path. The ground will be much more solid and not require nearly as much work to move forward. 🕊