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belongtotherain t1_iu91eb7 wrote

Reply to comment by Grownuppieceofjizz in LPT Request: how to deal with an emotionally draining friend I have to see on a daily basis by mercurysnowman

I agree. Be open. Not everyone has the same social awareness as others. Slowly cutting them off won’t help them in the long run.

You could literally just be like “Hey, I noticed that you’re really open with me about your life. I’m glad you can rely on me, but sometimes I’m dealing with my own stuff. Is there someone else you can talk to today?”

I know you said this friend is “immature” but they might be unaware of how draining their problem-dumping can be.

EDIT: Through reading the other comments, it looks like you’re in a university setting. Maybe ask them to see if they can attend low-cost therapy or even free therapy if your university offers it?

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heavy-metal-goth-gal t1_iu9tkep wrote

This is how I feel about our housemate sometimes. She's alienated her own friends because her bf only likes hanging out with his and she's a push over. It's her own fault that we're the only ones left, but we hate the bf, and we don't care to hear about their stupid fights over nothing anymore. IDK why she picks the worst guys always. Terrible taste in men, this one has. But yeah, she just starts in on a rant without asking if we've got the spoons for it. I feel she also has a lot of maturing to do. She's mid twenties.

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rexmaster2 t1_iu9z1ul wrote

Sometimes hearing the truth from those closest to them, never works. They will only listen if it comes from someone else.

I have bought this book for a few friends that have needed it, and it has changed their lives for the better. It is important that her bf not see this, or he will go on the offensive.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: how to recognize it and how to respond by Patricia Evans.

And for those considering this book, it does not matter who the aggressor is. It matters that you don't allow the person closest to you treat you this way.

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