“Hey, we have talked about this person, this issue, this feeling a lot and none of my previous advice seems to be helping you. It may be above my pay grade as your friend to help you. It might be time to talk to an adult or a professional a about this.”

Turn the conversation towards their agency to make a change instead of focusing on what others are doing to them or how they feel. “That sounds terrible, what do you plan to do about it?” “There is nothing I can do, I am a powerless victim.” “That can’t be true, try to brainstorm a couple of ideas no matter how stupid. You’ll feel better.”

Also, there is a form of conversational “grey rock” where you kind of tune out and just reply “cool, bummer, or wow” to everything they say, offering nothing of yourself to the problem. It’s kind of a defense against the black arts reserved for people that just do not take a hint about over-sharing.

Soooo how is cutting them out of your life not an option? I hope you're actually getting something out of this friendship.

>and yes that is the plan, limiting my time around them and basically avoiding them till they get the hint.

They won't get the hint, all it will do is make you seem more absent, slowly increasing the distance between you two, cutting them off slowly or frustrating them to the point where they cut you off. This method never works and might achieve something you don't want.

Before you do anything in particular, ask yourself: Does your friend even have anyone else to talk to about the issue at hand? Why is this so important to them? If you want someone to back off in terms of complaining it's often a good idea to look at the reason why they're complaining to you about something or someone.