I knew a woman who used to regularly report to me the latest occurrence of abuse by her boyfriend. I eventually realized she was using me as a kind of dumping ground for her traumas and I told her that I cared about her and that it hurt me to hear these stories and she would have to find someone else for this purpose and that I hoped it would not affect our friendship but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told her if she got serious about leaving him I would be there for her but it didn’t seem she was ready to take that step. We stayed friends and she eventually left him, and I do think she just hadn’t thought about the effect her complaining had on other people.