Submitted by Captain_Kyra t3_yai1be in LifeProTips
TL;DR: My best advice, don’t search for a soulmate or “the one” while browsing dating apps. Instead, just look for nice and/or interesting people to meet up (date) with and who knows, maybe eventually you find what you were looking for :)
Edit: When you start dating someone, my advice would be to not try to find your soulmate at the first few dates you have with someone. The new people you meet, the new things you might learn… it should never feel like utterly wasted time when it turns out someone is not “the one”!
That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be looking for someone you can share your life with, but I noticed the best mindset while creating your profile and swiping left and right, is to just meet nice new people and not necessarily to find your future soulmate. For me, it made for a better connection with my now partner when we were dating.
I found my lovely partner on Bumble, but the reason I swiped right (it’s right, right?) is because I thought he would be a fascinating person to meet, and not because I saw immediate future husband material in his profile. And afterwards he told me he thought the same about me.
Turns out, we both just wanted to enjoy each other’s company, without the immediate expectation and pressure to be each other’s soulmates (and no, not in a one night stand kind of way, we didn’t even have sex the first few dates). It made our first date (and all after that) more than fantastic, and we’ve now been living together for quite some time and even added a little doggo to our home!
He was of course not the only person I dated, and with the rest of the bunch I just had a nice time! Learned some new things, saw some new perspectives, etc.
Edit: Even my lesser dates were interesting in some way. Sometimes it just gave me a good laugh afterwards, other times I found new placed in the town I lived in for over 10 years and some of them taught me new things or gave me refreshing insights, even when I would definitely not see them as long term romantic partners.
I know a lot of people have way less luck than I had while dating, but I also want people to hear the (non life partner related) success stories about dating apps!
I know this won’t work for everyone, but it did for me :)
Hope this story helps or at least fill some people with hope. Have a lovely day and make new friends wherever you go! 💕
Edit: This advice is meant specifically for people who ARE eventually looking for their soulmate/life partner or whatever. You can be searching for “the one” without adding that pressure onto every date you have. It is essentially a very go with the flow mindset. This does not apply to people who just want to have a fling for some time. Sorry if I didn’t clarify that the first time :)
Edit: I do NOT mean let’s be friends first and fully get to know each other before getting together. What I meant to say was, just don’t put pressure on first dates to meet “the one”. Go to your first date with a mindset like: I am just going to hang out with (hopefully) a nice person. If it romantically/sexually clicks, then hell yeah. If it doesn’t? No wasted time, still enjoyed hanging out with this person.
keepthetips t1_itb5zwa wrote
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.