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keepthetips t1_iuiwego wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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kenlasalle t1_iuiwui5 wrote

Sadly, lots and lots of practice.

6

NyJosh t1_iuiydxd wrote

Cut them off. They aren’t your friends. Find new social circles away from people like that.

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NegotiationSuitable6 t1_iuizd4n wrote

Laugh at them and start gaslighting them alienate them show em how you feel.

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sikmode t1_iuizj46 wrote

Hurt em back. Especially and even more so if they are family.

0

IncompetentFrog t1_iuj0dqj wrote

Find out why you care, it’s gonna be different for you.

Dissect that reason like a bucket of frogs in a 9th grade biology class.

Once dissected you’ll understand the flaw in your reasoning and will be able to overcome it.

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DoctaMario t1_iuj12ao wrote

Feel like we need more info here

1

D-Le-P t1_iuj1swk wrote

Oh I don’t stay unbothered, I stand up for myself these days.

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slarti54 t1_iuj2y63 wrote

We'll all be dead soon enough.

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OddNefariousness1967 t1_iuj5va8 wrote

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” - Eleanor Roosevelt

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OrangeBlood1971 t1_iuj7zi5 wrote

The real question is, should you actually care about their opinion?

You seem to know that what they're saying isn't true, so you know it just doesn't apply to you and they're wrong. Just as if they called you a jelly donut...it's a silly thing for them to say because it does not reflect reality. In such a case, treat them as they deserve to be treated - ignored for being nonsensical. You don't have to fix them or their opinions. Let them sit there in their own ignorance/nonsense.

And, if they treat you this way, then why should you assign any kind of value to their opinion of you. By extension - a low opinion of you coming from someone whom you don't have enough regard for to value their advice is just an opinion to ignore.

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SubGothius t1_iujca3b wrote

Indeed, and what people say about us isn't much of any reflection on us; it's more a reflection on them. It's none of our business what other people think of us; we have no direct control over what they think or say, so it's not our responsibility to be concerned about it, only how we decide to respond to it, if at all.

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ngamboire t1_iujczc6 wrote

When you reach the end of your tether and tell yourself IDGAF. Use it as your mantra. Then use your time, effort and energy focusing on anything and everything else, so you're not preoccupied with them. You'll outgrow them, move on from them, become indifferent towards them and they'll HATE it. Best revenge

1

dlongwing t1_iujd545 wrote

In these situations, the best thing to do is to cut off contact with them. You're not obligated to endure abuse, even from members of your immediate family.

If these are more distant relatives who only show up around holidays, then it's time to tell your family that you're not coming home for Thanksgiving (or whatever).

If you're living at home, it's time to make a plan to GET OUT. Secure enough financial resources to move out of that house. If you're under-aged, then you can make a plan you can execute on as soon as you're 18.

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Quinquilharia t1_iuji1in wrote

Only accept insults from people you respect

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Furifufu t1_iujliw9 wrote

Just desensitize yourself, that's what I did

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lordpin3appl3s t1_iujn6h6 wrote

One of my buddies told me a while ago to never accept criticism from someone you wouldn't accept advice from. Ask yourself - does this person know you well enough for their words to actually carry weight? If not, they're likely projecting or have things going on in their own lives. Being more involved with myself and getting to know me better has helped me maintain my security in who I am when people say nasty and untrue things about me.

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Varys_Beauty t1_iujvh1d wrote

Ok. They’re your relatives. You can’t distance yourself or don’t want to. Doesn’t matter. I have a relative I have distanced myself from as much as possible, however, I do still have to interact at times. She will say shitty things. I used to get mad and she’s follow up with ‘it’s just how I am!’

But now I stop. Stay silent for 5ish seconds and then say, ‘did you really think that was ok to say out loud?’ I am telling you she thinks twice about it now.

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D0ctorL t1_iuk0tur wrote

I have this same problem, but with a co-worker. I don't want to leave the workplace because the money is really good and the hours are very consistent, but I'm sick of being treated like I am. The things they say to me linger in my brain all day. They live rent free in my head.

2