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Wjyosn t1_iuk66bv wrote

And then, one more step... Just dump a bag of candy in the bowl. All the same effect, 80% less douche

377

L1Zs t1_iuk7xrg wrote

Does it make you 20% douche just to leave a bowl of candy out? My family always does this, then goes out to dinner 🤷🏻‍♀️ . Our sign says to please take two and happy Halloween

24

sonnyjbiskit t1_iukb6ud wrote

It makes you 0% douche if you have something to do and still leave a bowl of candy.

Makes you 100% douche to leave an empty bowl but hey you're the only one who knows you're a douche so do what you gotta do

31

wastingtoomuchthyme t1_iujxx4n wrote

Make sure it's a crappy plastic bowl you were gonna throw out

57

Want_To_Live_To_100 t1_iuk8giq wrote

Orrrr you could you know turn off the outside lights and not be a dick.

38

umpfke t1_iuk15ca wrote

This is an unethical life pro tip. r/unethicallifeprotips

26

spidleytopaz t1_iuk6a83 wrote

Why not leave some candy, you Grinch of hallow's eve?

24

Duck652 t1_iuk8kbg wrote

Some people don’t celebrate halloween. That says nothing about them as a person - They just don’t. I don’t give gifts on Christmas. Does that also make me a grinch of hallow’s eve?

−5

humble_oppossum t1_iukbwan wrote

If you were doing like this guy and gave empty gifts, yeah that's a Grinch move. I agree that you shouldn't judge who celebrates what, but there's no need to go this route. "Hey kids, come here! Oh sorry, nothing for you!". And not in a funny was, but in a sad "don't judge me" way. A sign alone is better if you're unwilling to turn off the porch light. It's a simple tradition everyone already understands

10

Potomac_Pat t1_iuk7yjm wrote

Your house deserves to be toilet papered.

8

Duck652 t1_iuk8m4v wrote

What makes you say that? It’s just a way to avoid being bothered.

−8

kittenfordinner t1_iuk9zwf wrote

what an awful thing to do, help convince the children that the world we live in is full of more shitty people just to avoid an inconvenience. Shame

4

That1guywhere t1_iukbgtv wrote

It's trick OR treat. Enjoy having your house egged.

4

keepthetips t1_iujvoz4 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

1

Nutsnboldt t1_iukbzz5 wrote

Another LPT “lie”. If you’re going to go so far as to put a note just put an honest one. “Sorry kids, I’m exhausted, try next door”

−1

limacharley t1_iujyusw wrote

Alternatively, don't be horrible.

−6

unfunfunf555 t1_iuka1wn wrote

Ahhh yes the worst thing anyone can ever do.... checks notes...... not celebrate Halloween.....

0

Adamsandlersshorts t1_iujz3au wrote

Alternatively, try not being stupid before offering alternative advice.

−2

some-purple-elephant t1_iuk4md6 wrote

And tomorrow you can pick up the toilet paper and flaming excrement teenagers will leave for you.

−6

malcontented t1_iujxvfs wrote

Wow. Such a dick move. How about this instead? One night a year act like a normal human and give out candy to a bunch of kids dressed up in costumes?

−13

TheRealRamanji t1_iujymsj wrote

Just because other people decided to have kids doesn't make me required to give those kids sugar one night a year.

9

humble_oppossum t1_iujzy4o wrote

I agree with you but this is just a crappy LPT. Duping children so you don't feel judged is just dumb. Stand up for yourself and just put a sign up "sorry no candy" if you feel people might come knocking. Adults don't care if you participate or not

4

yoosernamesarehard t1_iuk11sm wrote

Great way to get vandalized with eggs or TP or spray paint because of entitlement. So no, standing up for yourself leads to nothing good in this situation.

−3

humble_oppossum t1_iuk67i6 wrote

What? Where do you people live where you get vandalized for a sign that says "sorry no candy". It's the same as having the lights off. Geeze are there any adults in here?

3

yoosernamesarehard t1_iuk6gbo wrote

Just because it hasn’t happened to you or you’ve never heard of it happening, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen. I grew up in typical midwestern suburbs, generally nice areas with no crime. This would happen though to people who put signs out like that.

2

humble_oppossum t1_iuka1ih wrote

Umm... Dude I was the dumb fuck with eggs and TP when I was young, and a sign like this would be irrelevant to me. With that logic, I'd egg you for having your lights off too, right? And for having an empty bowl too. You're either on a shit list or not. So as someone speaking from a different perspective you placed on me, punk kids would be more pissed about the empty bowl you made them walk up to. But lie your way through life if that's your winning strategy. It's just not for me. There's better ways to gain respect

2

MyScrotesASaggin OP t1_iuk0tqv wrote

It's not to prevent judgment it's to prevent knocking on the front door.

−4

humble_oppossum t1_iuk5vu9 wrote

Then just put up a sign without the bowl? If you're not worried about judgement, why go the extra mile and fake you ran out of candy? Think about it

3

MyScrotesASaggin OP t1_iuk7bag wrote

To prevent knocking

−2

humble_oppossum t1_iuk8o8x wrote

But... the sign alone takes care of the knocking. Lying about why the bowl is empty is for preventing judgement. But you already know that

4

MyScrotesASaggin OP t1_iuk94y8 wrote

But... the sign alone takes care of judgement too. They will assume the bowl was stolen as well. But you knew that.

−2

humble_oppossum t1_iukb1d1 wrote

And there it is.. the truth about the lie. Yes I did know, I hope you do too. You don't need to lie and feel judged because no one cares if you're handing out candy. And making kids walk up for nothing will probably set off the ones you're trying to avoid. Good luck tho

1

ricardo9505 t1_iujzpt4 wrote

Damn. You must be real lonely bro

−8

TheRealRamanji t1_iujzyob wrote

Sorry you decided to have kids, how's that working out for you?

−1

ucjuicy t1_iuk3d6w wrote

I don't have any and don't intend to, but you know what i like?

Being a nice neighbor.

0

Lumivarjo t1_iujytg3 wrote

How about... No? You wouldn't get bitchy if someone said they don't celebrate Christmas, or Hannukah, or any of the other multitude of holidays. Some people don't do Halloween.

9

ricardo9505 t1_iujzrk2 wrote

Yeah we call them Jehovah Witnesses.

−1

Lumivarjo t1_iujzwyc wrote

There's also people who just don't do holidays without religion needing to be involved.

7

Dallenforth t1_iujyicu wrote

Im at work from 6am to 9pm today, I just put out a bowl filled and hope for the best. My security camera will show me if someone steals the whole bowl.

0