LPT - When attending a social gathering with a partner, establish an escape plan.

Submitted by Silvawuff t3_z5dlrg in LifeProTips

I had the worst Thanksgiving I've probably had in a while, and I was thinking it would have been great if the people I was with established a plan with me to gracefully leave. A signal -- verbal or non verbal. Good choices? "Honey, is there gas in the car?" or "Did you see that sunset earlier?" Scratching a certain eyebrow, a squeeze of the hand, or touching an earring.

Some of us can only probe the anal glands of human social contact as much as we can bear. Don't suffer it any longer than necessary.

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Hot-Roof6572 t1_ixvqvkk wrote

I like the old Irish exit.. just leave , no goodbye's šŸ¤£

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chiggum-leg t1_ixwaakt wrote

I did that once. And no one knew I was in the ER all night. But thankfully it was so out of character for me to leave without saying byes that eventually they started calling hospitals in the morning and found me

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vivavivaviavi t1_ixxd5pf wrote

Well, you can always text to your partner. Thatā€™s what we do all the time.

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jfb3 t1_ixvvdxh wrote

My wife and I would just whisper in the other person's ear "I want to go home.".

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dragonchilde t1_ixvlpfh wrote

I'm a big fan of leaning over and saying "I'm not feeling good, let's go home" and just leaving.

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tcil78 t1_ixvqqkf wrote

Thatā€™s what cell phones are for! My husband and I will just text each other something like ā€œIā€™m ready to bounceā€, and within 10 minutes weā€™ve said our goodbyes and on the road!

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TheloniusDump t1_ixw64ft wrote

TF is up with people making a stink about someone else having to leave? It's like drawing on people when they're asleep. It's not your life, mind your business.

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IndgoViolet t1_ixvq63b wrote

"Some of us can only probe the anal glands of human social contact as much as we can bear. "

Quick! Someone post this to r/BrandNewSentence

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Silvawuff OP t1_ixxv52v wrote

Oh hell yeah, Iā€™m published to BNS! šŸ¤œšŸ¤›

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Late-Jicama5012 t1_ixxj600 wrote

Do you know why your LPT is flawed???? Because you didnā€™t bring Tupperware!!

Next time you come up with a mastermind escape plan, fill your Tupperware with food so you have leftovers for the next three days. Never leave empty handy! šŸ˜‰

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D-utch t1_ixvetzq wrote

Also, have signals for "save me." Tugging an earlobe is ours

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YggdrasilsLeaf t1_ixvmf96 wrote

Iā€™m honestly amazed you didnā€™t consider this before the fact. Iā€™ve been doing this since I was a kid in the 80s and I legit thought itā€™s just a thing everyone does.

Not even relegated to just significant others. Like plans were put into place with friends and back up friends when I was a kid. Our goal at that age was to get out of the family event as quickly as possible so we could all meet up after the fact, for our own ā€œcelebrationā€.

These days though, at my age, I donā€™t even try to play around anymore. I just tell people no when I donā€™t feel like doing a thing. If they keep talking to me after the fact? COOL. If they stop talking to me after I say no?

Well they clearly werenā€™t interested in an actual friendship to begin with, so no skin of my back.

As for escape plans? Youā€™re absolutely right and they should be established ahead of time. That being said, I can plan for weeks and remind my husband daily ā€œif I say this, itā€™s time to goā€ and it doesnā€™t matter.

He gets so caught up in whatever that by the time I say our escape phrase? Heā€™s already forgotten it and will then hit me with a barrage of questions right in front of the people Iā€™m trying to get us away from.

As a result, over the decades, Iā€™ve learned thatā€™s itā€™s just easier and more socially acceptable to turn down invites when you get them, instead of trying to be polite about it and ending up in a situation that you never wanted to be in; in the first place.

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BatangTundo3112 t1_ixwlckc wrote

Nah. I let my youngest kid run outside the house. Me and my wife chase him and go straight to the car. You say goodbye to everybody and you miss one then you have a problem. Only say goodbye to the host.

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longdogsandplants t1_ixw9vft wrote

If you have a dog, use that as your exit plan. "We need to take the dog out".

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zachtheperson t1_ixwy419 wrote

Why not text message? Simple, subtle, and effective

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ElaborateRoost t1_ixw1177 wrote

My code is ā€œpretty please.ā€ Use it when you need someone to say no to you, ex. ā€œCan we grab another drink, pretty please?ā€ or ā€œPretty please can we stay longer?ā€ Easy enough to work into regular conversation when you want someone to help you exit the situation.

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Zombiee_hobo t1_ixwjhji wrote

???

My woman just says ā€œready to go?ā€ She reads me perfectly I guess.

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Delicious_Ad_3530 t1_ixybfd6 wrote

Just get naked. They'll usually ask you to leave

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Silvawuff OP t1_ixz7u6k wrote

They won't ask you to leave -- it just turns into a gender reveal party!

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DragonHale1 t1_ixy0oyh wrote

I'd just tell my parents I want to leave. My parents do the same to each other. Simple, effective, easy. Been doing it for as long as I can remember.

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keepthetips t1_ixvelqu wrote

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