Jollydancer t1_iwkmysx wrote on November 16, 2022 at 9:42 AM

If he was „so excited“ to meet you and then ghosted you, he may have had second thoughts because of his own insecurities, and there’s probably nothing you can do to help him with that. He has to get over it himself.

Also, he may have had a death in the family or an emergency of some kind and hasn’t been able to focus on anything else but the situation in his family.

I usually think of possible scenarios when someone ghosts me and then tell myself: so they weren’t ready for me/a new relationship at this precise moment, and that’s okay. The ghosting shows that for some reason or other this wouldn’t have worked out. So I don’t need to waste any more thoughts on this snd can move on.

loseit2020andbeyond t1_iwl4tmt wrote on November 16, 2022 at 1:19 PM

I should note that i can still see when he has been active on the dating site and he has been active since our last text.

beigemom t1_iwl6d0y wrote on November 16, 2022 at 1:32 PM

So that means he is fine, and out and about. I have two bits of advice:

Do not EVER text again. You already made a normal attempt and he rudely did not have the decency to politely cancel. He doesn’t deserve your input and you don’t deserve to torture yourself.
Repeat the following to yourself: dodged a loser bullet. Dodged a loser bullet. Dodged a loser bullet. Because you did.

You will find better. It’s like house shopping: you lose one, there will be something better out there. In your case, in spades.

And BTW, should he ever text back, have a “no” response ready like: “You previously ghosted me which was rude and cowardly. I am letting you know (because I don’t ghost), that I want nothing to do with you. Goodbye”.

Hopefully if anything this will harden you to a-holes.

Angry-Eater t1_iwltga6 wrote on November 16, 2022 at 4:23 PM

He sounds unstable. The polarity of “can’t think of anything else!” and then ghosting reminds me of my addict ex-bf. You don’t want someone unstable, girl.