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Maybe he can't think of what to say....

I mean, if you only texted them once they might have forgotten about it or gotten busy

His mother or other girlfriend found out?

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You said you texted him once, what was your response to his ‘so excited’ comment? Is it possible it sounded unenthusiastic and he thought you weren’t interested? Also, texts aren’t totally foolproof, sometimes they just don’t go through and get lost in some void.

If it is ghosting, you need to step back and look at it without emotion or feelings. He’s a rude jerk! Count your blessings that at least he showed you what a dick he was BEFORE you met! How annoying would it be if you had met in person, liked him AND THEN he showed you his true colours?!

Do not-- I repeat-- DO NOT send him another text.

I'm gonna be honest, I was talking to this guy I'd never met in person and he started being pushy like "lemme see you" kinda pushy.. I thought, "nope" and saved myself. I'm not about to let someone be too clingy when we haven't even met yet, it was only a week. I never replied after he said, "lemme see you".

If he was „so excited“ to meet you and then ghosted you, he may have had second thoughts because of his own insecurities, and there’s probably nothing you can do to help him with that. He has to get over it himself.

Also, he may have had a death in the family or an emergency of some kind and hasn’t been able to focus on anything else but the situation in his family.

I usually think of possible scenarios when someone ghosts me and then tell myself: so they weren’t ready for me/a new relationship at this precise moment, and that’s okay. The ghosting shows that for some reason or other this wouldn’t have worked out. So I don’t need to waste any more thoughts on this snd can move on.

He got back with his ex.

>i need to get a life.

This.

Move on.

>How to get over being ghosted.

You don't have to do anything. Time takes care of it.

You don't have to do anything. Time takes care of it.nich

There's a million different things that could have happened. It's not worth worrying about. Like he literally could be dead and you'd never know.

There’s also the possibility that it’s a romance scammer, I’m which case it’s good he’s gone. Don’t give him money or your full identity details :-)

If you’ve never met him, he could be literally anyone living anywhere in the world.

How can you improve your self-esteem at this time? If you’re out at the gym or doing something constructive in the real world you might meet someone or at least be less inclined to give a stranger on the internet the time of day.

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I should note that i can still see when he has been active on the dating site and he has been active since our last text.

He has been active on the dating site since we have spoken.

So that means he is fine, and out and about. I have two bits of advice:

1. Do not EVER text again. You already made a normal attempt and he rudely did not have the decency to politely cancel. He doesn’t deserve your input and you don’t deserve to torture yourself.

2. Repeat the following to yourself: dodged a loser bullet. Dodged a loser bullet. Dodged a loser bullet. Because you did.

You will find better. It’s like house shopping: you lose one, there will be something better out there. In your case, in spades.

And BTW, should he ever text back, have a “no” response ready like: “You previously ghosted me which was rude and cowardly. I am letting you know (because I don’t ghost), that I want nothing to do with you. Goodbye”.

Hopefully if anything this will harden you to a-holes.

Very sorry to hear that. I'm sure you're a catch though and you'll do fine out there. Unfortunately, ghosting is part of online dating.

Just cry, be sad about it, try something new you’ve wanted to try, do the date by yourself, journal. Ghosting sucks, let yourself feel the feelings. Maybe he’s a bad guy, maybe not, but the focus can’t be whether or not that’s true. Just let yourself feel sad because you got let down on something you were excited about. It’s a loss in a sense, and that’s okay to grieve for a little. If you don’t, this is how “hurt people, hurt people”

> Ugggg, i need to get a life.

No. You need to grow up.

Call him a few times throughout the day, chances are you will get a hold of him and you two can talk things out.

No answer? Simply move on. It happened, and nothing will change that. Just keep doing your thing while you work mentally on accepting what happened.

Then he lied to you. He wasn't excited. Be happy you got out of it before any real amotional damage was done.

Its super fun when they are like "im super bad at responding to texts but I really want to hang out!" So you don't get the hint at first and it takes a couple of days of a couple unanswered texts to realize. I just hate how suddenly you're weird for not getting the hint right away. Its like if you're not a mind reader you're weird. Or my absolute favorite is I usually wait an hour to respond to texts (another really stupid thing I found is if you respond within an hour then you're a loser with no life supposedly) but sometimes I'll get frequent texts right back and we text for a while where I respond generally faster but suddenly the texting is too mich and annoying but like... I only try to mirror their general texting amount, I don't actually like texting but then I worry they will think im not interested but god forbid you come off as too interested! I fucking hate the texting before the first date thing. Should you ask questions? Why not save questions for the date? In person I have a very high success rate in asking girls out but for some godforsaken reason theres always like 4 or 5 days before they are free and between then and the date, texting pretty much always ends things before they start and I can't be sure but I'm pretty sure they get annoyed by me texting them. Or maybe im supposed to be more flirty over text? But that feels like the same odea as sending a dick pick, we havent had a first date, I don't feel comfortable being like "what you wearing? ;)"

He sounds unstable. The polarity of “can’t think of anything else!” and then ghosting reminds me of my addict ex-bf. You don’t want someone unstable, girl.

I’ve gotten dozens of girls numbers, been ghosted by 2/3 of them. 33% success rate is still worth it 😉. There’s billions of people, numbers game.

Don't over think it. Move on and stay strong.

And go outside! Have some fun! Spend a night out on the town as they say.

This wasn't ghosting. You haven't even met.

Don't get so attached to text. The person isn't real until you meet them.

this happened to me years ago, I couldn't make sense of it AT ALL.

I later found out he was severely addicted to heroin at the time. I only found out, by accident through an acquaintance, after he got sober.

if someone is ghosting people, there's probably something very dysfunctional about them. it is actually fortunate he ghosted you before you met. you probably dodged a bullet here.

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Maybe it's not as serious, but who knows? I certainly never suspected that explanation at the time. I thought we were really hitting it off and getting into some pretty deep conversations.

I think a big challenge is we had hope about the guy and were picturing our idealized vision of them. It is easy to forget they certainly have flaws (sometimes very serious ones) that we have no idea about. So it's almost instinctual to feel rejected and assume he found someone else. But even if he did, i swear he's not treating his next date 300% better. Everyone is gonna get roughly the same version of selfish and disrespectful; I swear. Good luck to them and I don't envy them.

If he did lose interest or find someone else, he could have easily said he wanted to cancel -- if he were a decent person. He didn't even have the strength of character to do that. That's probably not a great sign for other areas of his life! Just imagine, there may be a horrible credit score, dangerous levels of shower mold, and multiple furious baby mommas... thankfully, you'll never have to deal with all that. You are one of the lucky ones who got out early enough to avoid it all :)

The people in this thread have been pretty prickly and mostly not helpful. It reminded me of an asofterworld quote: "unrequited love is for chumps... walk it off!" Haha. I agree it's not useful to dwell on it, but it's easier when a third party can help point out why people like this aren't worth mourning. So, maybe consider imagining what he could be hiding from everyone on the dating site, instead of just picturing all the good things you thought about him... I'm sure he knows not to advertise his bad qualities and ghosting is definitely just one of them!!