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Catspaw129 t1_j2b37m9 wrote

Someone, I won't say who, never met my mother.

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codece t1_j2b4fjy wrote

My thoughts exactly. My mother kept the sheets and pillowcases folded in the linen closet, and would iron them before she made the bed.

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Catspaw129 t1_j2bas8j wrote

Oh my! It gets worse...

My mom's sister is a nun (and therefore kind of doubly her "sister") . She's the principal at the Catholic boarding school to which I was sent.

Talk about folding and ironing...

I'm thinking that if your mom ironed the sheets and pillowcases before making up the bed, then at the very least the bed linens may have been warm and toasty?

Cheers!

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codece t1_j2bg2r9 wrote

> the bed linens may have been warm and toasty?

Hahaha, it wasn't that bad. She wasn't a posh butler, waiting to iron the linens just before we retired for the evening, lol!

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Catspaw129 t1_j2bop9h wrote

You're lucky.

My mom's sister (the nun) insisted that when the bed linens were ironed that spray starch was used. So the creases were viciously sharp. Every morning I would wake up, my body oozing blood with what looked kind of like paper cuts.

I mentioned that to the priest associated with the parish and he told me it must be "stigmata". He said he'd be talking to Rome about sainthood, but it's been a few decades and I have yet to hear back.

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LordAtchley t1_j2cdw1w wrote

I read this completely deadpan and then enjoyed a good hearty chuckle. Thank you.

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Catspaw129 t1_j2ci1kf wrote

What? Do you think this is funny?

I've been waiting for quite a while; in my time I've endured:

- 2 English monarchs

- A gaggle of popes

- Who knows how many English PM's (one of which could not afford/know how to use a comb)

And yet, here I am, waiting for sainthood, or at least to be beatified, for having survived Sr. Mary Penguin's viciously creased sheets and pillows (which did not do anything good for my red blood cell count or my hemoglobin values.)

I know that saints have to suffer adversity; but, you know, there is a limit to such things...

~ Catspaw129 (candidate for sainthood)

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LordAtchley t1_j2coqme wrote

Have you tried doubling down on the heroic virtue? I hear that usually works.

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Catspaw129 t1_j2d7p11 wrote

By golly: You raise a good point -- the doubling down on heroic virtue thingy.

Even as I write this I am negotiating for the charter of a helicopter with downward facing speakers with a Wagner soundtrack (and of course a PR firm with a photographer.)

I wish we had this discussion about a week ago: I could have swooped down from the sky and provided aid and comfort to all those folks stranded by Southwest Airlines by tossing rolls of toilet tissue to those unfortunate souls!

A well-documented act like that is surely worthy of expedited sainthood.

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damarius t1_j2cc11h wrote

>My mom's sister is a nun

Is your Mom Attila the hun? (Sorry, John Prine joke).

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Catspaw129 t1_j2cd9bm wrote

Well, yeah! That's my mom!

And her sister: My brother calls her Sr. Mary Penguin.

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Catspaw129 t1_j2d9btv wrote

Edited to add:

I call my mom's sister "Attila the nun"

'cause , you know, you've got to get that palindrome "nun", in their.

(I once pointed that out to a priest that a nun is a palindrome; he was not amused. I'm still doing Hail Mary's.)

He said:
"That's my sister you're talking about!"

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Champlainmeri t1_j2cnv4s wrote

The ironing is to kill organisms on the sheets. We don't have to do that anymore.

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ouyin2000 t1_j2bop68 wrote

My grandmother would do the same. She also ironed her jeans.

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General_Spark1001 t1_j2bz9zx wrote

My grandpa did all the ironing in their household and taught us kids to iron using his socks and handkerchiefs for practice 🤣 not at all sure if he ironed those on the day to day tho!

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my-cat-cant-cat t1_j2c0tqe wrote

I thought I’d long since buried the memory of my mom making me iron all the sheets. Ugh.

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lavenderrabe t1_j2chplz wrote

To be fair, it is LOVELY getting into a crisp freshly ironed bed 🤤

Not enough that I'd iron my sheets mind you. But it is lovely in a hotel and at granny's house

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Catspaw129 t1_j2d8k1g wrote

"To be fair, it is LOVELY getting into a crisp freshly ironed bed 🤤
Not enough that I'd iron my sheets mind you"

....said someone who secretly irons their sheets. It's OK to admit it. Heck, I might invite you over to iron my sheets before I take a snooze.

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lavenderrabe t1_j2dxpq8 wrote

I WISH I had it in me to iron my sheets 😂 trust me I'd not hide it if I had that sort of time and energy

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Catspaw129 t1_j2fqiez wrote

Ahem!

Maybe you misunderstand?

I wasn't talking about you ironing YOUR sheets. I was talking about you ironing MY sheets.

There's a crucial difference there.

If you do a nice job and I'm all warm and cozy when I put myself down to sleep in those freshly pressed sheets, then I'll give your a good review! (I have 3 followers on Facebook!)

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RandomFrenchGal t1_j2dk5uf wrote

My mom ironed and folded sheets before putting them away into perfect piles in the linen closet.

Mine usually go from the bed to the machine to the dryer to the bed :D

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southdakotagirl t1_j2db2o1 wrote

My grandma did this too. I can't fold a folded sheet and I don't even own a iron.

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dutchcourage- t1_j2d9dzc wrote

I’ve definitely met your mother

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Catspaw129 t1_j2d9xwd wrote

Oh my!

Perhaps we can form a club? Maybe build a tree house? Have sekrit oaths and stuff?

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dutchcourage- t1_j2dkch1 wrote

Sounds good, son!

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Catspaw129 t1_j2dmf7m wrote

Aha!

I always wondered why I had no resemblance to my mother's husband.

You wrote that you definitely met my mother...

Are you, perhaps, my father? My name out in the real world is "Luke". Might your name in the real world be "Anakin"?

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BugsCheeseStarWars t1_j2dglyc wrote

Stand up to your mommy and you'll never need to fold anything in your life ever again.

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SighlentNite t1_j2dr2vq wrote

That is pretty much word for word what I thought.

I won't even attempt this at my own house. She will sense it somehow next time she visits.

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