Catspaw129 t1_j2bop9h wrote on December 31, 2022 at 1:42 AM

Reply to comment by codece in LPT: No one cares if your fitted sheets are folded by Aunt_Anne

You're lucky.

My mom's sister (the nun) insisted that when the bed linens were ironed that spray starch was used. So the creases were viciously sharp. Every morning I would wake up, my body oozing blood with what looked kind of like paper cuts.

I mentioned that to the priest associated with the parish and he told me it must be "stigmata". He said he'd be talking to Rome about sainthood, but it's been a few decades and I have yet to hear back.

LordAtchley t1_j2cdw1w wrote on December 31, 2022 at 5:04 AM

I read this completely deadpan and then enjoyed a good hearty chuckle. Thank you.

Catspaw129 t1_j2ci1kf wrote on December 31, 2022 at 5:43 AM

What? Do you think this is funny?

I've been waiting for quite a while; in my time I've endured:

- 2 English monarchs

- A gaggle of popes

- Who knows how many English PM's (one of which could not afford/know how to use a comb)

And yet, here I am, waiting for sainthood, or at least to be beatified, for having survived Sr. Mary Penguin's viciously creased sheets and pillows (which did not do anything good for my red blood cell count or my hemoglobin values.)

I know that saints have to suffer adversity; but, you know, there is a limit to such things...

~ Catspaw129 (candidate for sainthood)

LordAtchley t1_j2coqme wrote on December 31, 2022 at 6:56 AM

Have you tried doubling down on the heroic virtue? I hear that usually works.

Catspaw129 t1_j2d7p11 wrote on December 31, 2022 at 11:08 AM

By golly: You raise a good point -- the doubling down on heroic virtue thingy.

Even as I write this I am negotiating for the charter of a helicopter with downward facing speakers with a Wagner soundtrack (and of course a PR firm with a photographer.)

I wish we had this discussion about a week ago: I could have swooped down from the sky and provided aid and comfort to all those folks stranded by Southwest Airlines by tossing rolls of toilet tissue to those unfortunate souls!

A well-documented act like that is surely worthy of expedited sainthood.