Submitted by Other_Account_6435 t3_zvwgu1 in LifeProTips

I find when I do fun things, I sometimes feel a layer of pressure or guilt while doing them. I feel that this sometimes takes away from the experience and it can feel less intensely fun and in the moment or present. I want to let myself do fun things, even if scheduled. I believe it can reduce burnout and bring refreshed energy to my job and responsibilities. Thanks for the input in advance!

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edpumkin t1_j1ri5es wrote

If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, they would have your job filled within the week. Work is work. Give everything you have when you’re on the job but when you’re off that’s your own time and you don’t owe your job anything more.

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Citizen_Graves t1_j1riq89 wrote

Seek therapy. Work-related guilt is a sickness and should be treated as such. Your life is more important than your job, and you should enjoy it more.

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Afrokrause t1_j1rm0c5 wrote

4 out of 5 doctors recommend starting your day with a tall glass of "fuck it".

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Background_Duty_1999 t1_j1rik05 wrote

Remember I’m human and not a program but also that if they fired me today they’d have another in about 2 weeks.

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1rk375 wrote

I like this, it's not that "my skills aren't valuable," but my skills can be filled by someone else takes the pressure off a little. That "it can be done by someone else, someone else will do it if I do not;" "work is not usually life and death." Thank you for sharing.

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blueboy151 t1_j1rpx5t wrote

I would suggest therapy. I went one earlier this year and "graduated" last month. They may suggest doing meditation which I always thought it was dumb but once I did it every day after work and it has been a game changer.

You may always want to do a trick I still do which is at the end of the day before heading home is to writing down what I couldn't today and will need to follow-up tomorrow. Helps keep you organized and makes you less worried that you will forget tomorrow.

Everyone is replaceable at their jobs even presidents and CEOs. Put in your time at work and be selfish at home to enjoy your friends, families and hobbies. You are your highest priority, not your job.

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1rtryy wrote

I appreciate your thorough response. Yeah I feel meditation often feels "hokey" to me in concept but everytime I've done a mindfulness exercise I have felt more aware and "calibrated" with myself. Thank you for sharing. I have people in my life who make me feel that being selfish at home is wrong and having wants are bad. Thank you for this insight and thank you for sharing.

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WiseChoices t1_j1ro6or wrote

We are all replacable. When you retire life will go right on.

Enjoy the present. It is a gift.

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YggdrasilsLeaf t1_j1rod4u wrote

Literal therapy.

You should not feel guilty for enjoying your scheduled time off. You should not feel guilty about calling out when you are sick. You should not feel guilty about calling out pretending to be sick because you need a personal day you don’t want to explain. You should not feel guilty about taking a Personal day off when you want to.

Work is a thing we do so we can live life. Work is not life itself. Work is a thing we do to pay our bills so we can do the things we actually want to do in life. If you should feel guilty about anything? You should feel guilty about missing out on your own life because you were too busy worrying about your boss and work.

Work is not life. Your boss does not own your time. You can say no.

Work is a thing we do so we can afford to live our actual lives. There are no hints or tricks. You should not feel guilty about not going to work. Especially during your scheduled time off.

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1rp7ls wrote

Thank you for your thorough post. I like the idea that we work to live our life not to be defined by it and feeling safe enough to say "no" for work life balance. Thank you for your insight and for sharing.

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chadlemay t1_j1rocf6 wrote

Work to live. Work to live and quit for the day if you can.

It's about time.

Work is good for money, but it usually costs more than 40 hours/week of servitude.

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1roycc wrote

I like this idea of work is a tool to benefit my life instead of my life revolving and being defined by my work. Thank you for this insight.

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nobody-u-heard-of t1_j1rpm6t wrote

I just remember the size of my paycheck

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1rrsma wrote

Ah yeah, I'm still hourly, so I'm not even to salary yet so this feels helpful. Thank you for sharing.

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Wegotthis_12054 t1_j1svjvt wrote

I really recommend mindfulness. I thought it sounded dumb and a waste of time but has been amazing.

It really helps you focus on being present where you are to enjoy the moment.

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ThatChicagoDuder t1_j1tg8z0 wrote

Work is what you do, not who you are

You're allowed to have fun, and more than anything a shit ton of studies have proven time and time again that the best output comes out of individuals and teams when they're given specific tasks and timetables and have their needs met.

The example below assumes individual/team are familiar with their jobs and are capable of meeting deadlines, but yeah The more freedom they're given, the more creative they can get with it and collaborate, and they're more engaged. Cant tell you the number of times some idiot tried to do some Dwight Schrute-esqe management and the hard earners left immediately and sucked the team energy and engagement and ruined the culture of the group.

Again, each situation can, and almost is different and these are very general terms and individuals may have other life events happening that take away their attention.....but for me personally and generally speaking,i look at it as if i can deliver the content on time and budget....and am able to choose between fun and excited vs miserable or absolutely no fun....i dunno, im going for fun!

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superlion1985 t1_j1thf6v wrote

Work at work, don't work when you're not at work. Especially of you're hourly! Your employer doesn't own you, and if you're hourly and you're off the clock they're not even paying you.

If you're salaried they still don't own you but you can expect to put in some not-directly-compensated hours to help get projects finished or deadlines met. Don't ever let them guilt you into missing important things in your personal life though. Someone you know dies, go to the funeral. Your kid has a recital or game, be there. Friend or family in town, take time off to spend it with them. Loved one in the hospital, be there. Take a vacation, so you can stand to put up with the crappy parts of your job.

If you're done for the day and have a great idea for something at work, write it down and plan to deal with it at work. Don't obsess over it on your own time. Have a live outside of work because someday you'll want to retire but if all you do is work, you won't know what to do or who you are without it.

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1w8otd wrote

I like this idea of "be where you are." I like the idea of there are only so many weddings and life events to attend and we don't always get the opportunity to experience these landmark events. I didn't co sider that about retirement. Thank you for sharing.

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FuturePerformance t1_j1titaz wrote

You’re paid to fulfill your job duties, not to sit at your desk 40+ hours a week. If your work is getting done well, you’re doing your job well.

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1w8sqx wrote

I think this is an interesting take on the work-task experience. Thanks for sharing.

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AcclaimedGroundhog t1_j1tpq1m wrote

You can't do a good job if you don't take care of yourself. By taking care of yourself and doing something good for you, you are doing something for your job.

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1w8wdz wrote

Taking time for self maintenance brings more fuel and energy for life, work included. I like that, thanks for sharing

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Luna13377 t1_j1ts0fm wrote

I’m a PhD student and am really struggling with this because it’s not a paid per hour kind of job …

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1w93o2 wrote

I hear you, one of my friends was a PhD student and he struggled with this all the time. Exercise helped him break up his day and give him something to look forward to. I hope some of these strategies peoe are sharing help you. Thanks for sharing.

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Traditional_Aioli837 t1_j1tzjtz wrote

I cannot say I’ve ever experienced work related guilt in my life. I guess my secret is remembering that if I dropped dead tomorrow, literally any employer would emotionlessly replace me before my body got cold and maybe even write me up for not finding coverage.

Death is forever and employment is exchanging time we’ll never get back in order to afford living in a world we didn’t choose to be born into. They don’t care about you. Stop caring so much about them. The average worker works more hours per week than the average medieval serf.

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1wbqi2 wrote

Sometimes I believe strongly in the impact I make and can make at work but I believe it's good to understand the truth that we are all pretty much replaceable. It relieves some pressure I feel. It may sound cold and cynical that they don't care but I think there is some truth in that. It helps relieve some guilt. Thank you for sharing.

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Traditional_Aioli837 t1_j1wc2lr wrote

You are welcome. And I hope I don’t come across as too cynical, because making an impact and feeling like your job is meaningful is a really lucky and wonderful thing! It’s just about finding a balance and reminding yourself that your health should always come first.

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Baleofthehay t1_j1u0vnh wrote

You are taking your job far too seriously. Have a look around you, are your bosses running around everywhere supporting the workers. Giving them what they need in a timely manner. Actually doing their job and managing people. They have got all the time in the world and this is on the job, while you are away from work stressing about work.

Your work has no loyalty to you. They'd drop you in a heartbeat if they had to. Remember, you are just another number and don't believe the BS that you are valued. If you were that valued, they'd be paying you more.

When your fellow employees and bosses clock out, they don't give two shits about work.

They know the game, it seems you are still catching up.

A strategy to help build a new perspective is pretend someone you love just died. Would you be worrying about work things ? Of course not, because those things will still be there when you get back. Your loved one won't be. Now you know what's really important .

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1wccki wrote

Thank you for your thorough response. That's true while on the job they are not running around and while I'm off the job I'm stressing. That helps put things into perspective some. Thanks for sharing.

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Baleofthehay t1_j1wpfm5 wrote

Thanks for the appreciation. I like to be as detailed to avoid confusion

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mafiaknight t1_j1v26ji wrote

Work is work, and fun is fun. If work is fun, good for you, but when fun starts becoming work: tell work to fuck off.

You get paid to do work for a certain period of time. Outside that time period is yours to do with as you please. Work doesn’t get to dictate your fun time. Work isn’t important when you’re off the clock. Don’t worry about work unless they’re paying you to do so.

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1wcl3f wrote

🤣I like that word play. I appreciate your insight. Thanks for sharing.

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apicap t1_j1vbhy2 wrote

recreational drug use

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Other_Account_6435 OP t1_j1wcxqj wrote

An option🤣I feel like that is a temporary numbing strategy. Effective, sure. Maybe good in combination with some cognitive behavior therapy (long-term) strategies. Thank you for sharing.

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