Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

SlowRolla t1_j1afsx7 wrote

Reply to comment by fishling in LPT: Don't spy on your SO to try to catch them cheating. If you can't trust them, just break up. by 5YOChemist

>wants to put the onus on the other person to break off the relationship

That's... ok? No one is under any obligation to stay with anyone else. Ever. Each person can say "not for me, thanks". There doesn't even have to be a reason that makes sense to the "breakee".

2

fishling t1_j1ah9a4 wrote

That's not what I said though.

Of course, no one is under any obligation to stay with anyone else, ever.

But, for a cheater to be the one that breaks the trust, and then say "if you don't trust me, you should break up with me instead of spying on me trying to discover the truth", then that's manipulative. The cheater, in that scenario, wants the best of everything: the benefits of infidelity, not getting challenged or being proved to be a cheater, and not having to initiate the breakup themselves, so they can reap the benefits of both relationships as long as possible.

1