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jumpingjadejackalope t1_j1q473f wrote

They might not be responding because they have anxiety.

Or

They might need to think over their response.

Or

They might not have the bandwidth to handle dealing with your text at that moment, but wanted to check to make sure the text wasn’t urgent.

I can take days to respond to messages because I’m not mentally up for it, however, I don’t want to leave someone hanging if it’s urgent. Throwing in the “it’s rude” just makes it even more anxiety provoking and makes it less likely people will respond.

65

Environmental-Sock52 t1_j1q53fp wrote

Very disrespectful? That assumes it's being done intentionally, and even then I wouldn't care really. If someone wants to reply to me they can, if not that's fine too.

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deadbreath45 t1_j1q5bxg wrote

What if he or she asks you something or he or she is asking about yourself that you are fine or not ?

−16

Environmental-Sock52 t1_j1q73e1 wrote

I'll get around to it if I have time. Not a big deal.

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deadbreath45 t1_j1q7ah8 wrote

I am also saying the same thing when you get the time to reply to it .i am not saying that when they text you try to message them at that moment .it's not possible for all of us

−12

SnowMantra t1_j1q540d wrote

A phone is a convenience for the person who owns it, NOT for everyone else to be able to get a hold of them 24/7. You are not OWED a response.

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KeepitMelloOoW t1_j1q84w9 wrote

Came here to say this. We are not meant to be on call to everyone 24/7.

4

RenaissanceBear t1_j1qa1lz wrote

Not LPT at all. This is narcissism. You’re not entitled to a response on everything you send.

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deadbreath45 t1_j1qab3c wrote

Well i agree with your views but if he has given you much time and he is asking you about yourself not about himself then it's a polite way to maintain relations not a narcissistic trait .

−9

RenaissanceBear t1_j1qedyq wrote

You’re still not entitled to a response. You can choose to act accordingly, though. If someone is ghosting you and you don’t like that, choose to attempt transparent communication explaining that it hurts you, or choose to change the nature of your relationship, or dissolve it outright.

6

moviesetmonkey t1_j1q4x9o wrote

This is like when people say promise you won't get mad. You're seeking to control the person before you even reveal the thing they react to. A text is not face to face or ear to ear communication no matter how much you want it to be. It does not require immediate response, if you need immediate response then call or talk to people face to face. It is not their job to placate you or follow your rules. So next time on read think about if you need to call them, if not then calm your tits

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Breezyisback809 t1_j1q3p9p wrote

I disagree , what if someone is driving do you want them to txt and drive ? And also nobody else pays my phone bill so I can choose to reply or not sorry not sorry

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BeakyPlinder69 t1_j1q6gim wrote

Most of these LPTs that have been put up lately seem to be very specific to the person posting it. If someone doesn't reply to you right away, or leaves things on read a lot of the time, it could simply mean they do not want to talk to you.

7

Silly-Cloud-3114 t1_j1q3tz7 wrote

Yeah so OP is saying, if you can't reply don't open the message yet.

−2

Breezyisback809 t1_j1q4rjc wrote

You can see a message then get distracted by something else like a phone call , tending to kids , other important txt msg , phone dying , thinking of a response to reply back , etc ………. good thing I have my read notifications off on all socials to avoid people who get in thier feelings about being left on read

6

Old_timey_brain t1_j1q81ut wrote

" ...because i asked my friend if he is fine or not but he doesn't give me a reply after 15 to 20 days ..."

Maybe there's a hidden meaning.

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deadbreath45 t1_j1q863r wrote

What do you think the meaning is ?

−3

Old_timey_brain t1_j1q8jjt wrote

They don't want to continue the conversation with you.

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deadbreath45 t1_j1q98q4 wrote

Today he called and said sorry if you feel bad

−7

Delbuns t1_j1qd4b9 wrote

Lol that’s not a real apology they don’t want to talk to you get over it. People aren’t at your beck and call 24/7 and this post makes it very clear why people aren’t responding to you.

10

808Superman t1_j1ql3oc wrote

That's not the same as "I'm sorry for what I did". That's more a kin to welp sucks that you feel bad about my actions or lack thereof.

2

cclaytonr t1_j1q5h9s wrote

Disagree. My time and energy are my time and energy. I choose how and when to use them. Sometimes it takes me a week to respond to friends if they’re just checking in (never to anything urgent of course) and my good friends know they’ll hear from me when time/energy allows. I know and expect the same of them.

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deadbreath45 t1_j1q5vgb wrote

I am talking about the same thing whenever you get the time to reply . i know that people are busy or tired but when you get the time (in my case my friend got almost 20 days and he doesn't reply to my simple question that he is alright or not )you should do that .

−1

cclaytonr t1_j1qcycm wrote

I understand that upsets you and makes you worry more. Have you tried calling instead of messaging? Sometimes a voice is harder to ignore than a message that works it way out of your sightline.

5

sandrews1313 t1_j1q9z33 wrote

If you need a reply so bad, make a phone call.

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deadbreath45 t1_j1qa587 wrote

The argument will be much harder in this case Because if he is not replying to you for a long time then do you think he will pick your call ?

−2

craigdhou t1_j1qe9hq wrote

What do you think people did before texting was around? We all called each other and if we didn't want to talk, we didn't pick up. Also consider that maybe your friend saw the text, decided they would respond a little later, and then forgot. Have you tried to follow up in the past 20 days? If you really are that concerned about them you would have made more attempts to contact them.

5

sandrews1313 t1_j1qmx9s wrote

if they don't respond to your texts and don't pick up the phone...

get the clue.

2

Delbuns t1_j1q8p43 wrote

Sounds like OP is from r/niceguys and upset that girls leave his messages on read.

11

Eli1026 t1_j1q6ml8 wrote

I don't think it is anyone's right to have 24/7 access to my attention. It's not normal to be reacheable of every moment of every day. If its something more pressing sure, I understand that I really should message back at my earliest convenience. But if it's just every day chit chat and such then it can wait until I'm good and ready to open my mental space into "getting back" to everyone that keeps in touch on a regular basis. I genuinely have cultivated my friend group into people that understand that I enjoy my quiet and alone time. Instead of every other day to every day contact with my closest friends its weekly. And then face to face visiting monthly. People have busy lives and you are not the center of their world.

Edit: if it's a normal occurance with one or a couple of people in particular, just ask them how often they'd like to be "checked in" on. As stated above my friends and I are weekly check ins. But we've been known to go 3 weeks before getting nervous about safety. Depends on the person.

10

victim_of_technology t1_j1q42vz wrote

I take my right to say nothing very seriously and no one can take that away from me. Saying nothing is neither impolite nor offensive. It is nothing. Nothing = nothing. Sometimes that it is all I have to say to a particular person or on a particular topic.

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opaqueism t1_j1qgqfg wrote

Yeah this is a shit take. Mentally, I am not in a good place at this point in time and it’s hard for me to respond to someone over the phone via text or call especially someone who’s asking me if I’m alright when they know I am not. You’re not entitled to anyone’s time, regardless of their reasoning as to why they aren’t responding to you. Even if it is a simple yes or no answer, most of the time when we say that, y’all want us to elaborate, then proceed to start talking about yourselves or your hardships or change the subject to some random shit we don’t have time for. I used to get upset when someone wouldn’t respond to me even though I’ve seen them on social media hours or days after the fact but now I realize people are busy, sometimes forgetful that you texted, aren’t on their phones much, mentally can’t bring themselves to have human contact via a cellular device, etc.

Stop being a self-centered asshole.

3

crobsonq2 t1_j1q4bdw wrote

I'll admit to looking at a message and not having time to respond, or if it's an unexpected wall-o-text just not being able to read it. This usually happens when I'm busy doing something like driving, responding to "eta?" With "530" is easy enough, but anything much more sophisticated might not be possible.

For those who complain about texting while driving, checking a message while at a long light or on a long stretch of rural road with flat, unoccupied land is a lot safer than doing so while dodging city traffic.

2

ThisSorrowfulLife t1_j1qdgup wrote

Stop thinking you're entitled to an answer. Nobody has to answer you if they don't feel like it. If you're upset about it then don't ask.

2

DoctaMario t1_j1qds39 wrote

I think it's disrespectful to assume that someone should drop everything they're doing to answer you just because there's a capability to do so.

2

ProstHund t1_j1ql5wf wrote

That’s why I turn off read receipts

2

keepthetips t1_j1q3cw3 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

1

SoyEseVato t1_j1q3s0w wrote

iPhone has that feature.

1

[deleted] OP t1_j1q8h8p wrote

[deleted]

1

deadbreath45 t1_j1q9d03 wrote

Yes i am presenting my view correctly but people are misunderstanding it.

0

Delbuns t1_j1qd81m wrote

We aren’t misunderstanding your opinion is just dumb and we don’t agree, how narcissistic are you?

2

Photos99999 t1_j1qghl9 wrote

When you call people dumb on the Internet do you have an adjective to describe yourself? Like douche bag or a moron or narcissist asshole?

0

Shizz-happens t1_j1qe2zg wrote

There can be many reasons a person my not reply. Is it just one person or do you notice that many people take a long time or never respond to your messages?

1

deadbreath45 t1_j1qltv3 wrote

I am deleting this post after changing my view that i am not a holy spirit or god like person that everyone should respond to my text. But guys if some people will be more generous in explaining to me then i feel happy to delete this post .

1

Hannah-may t1_j1quyin wrote

Hard disagree. I rarely have the spoons to reply to texts, let alone straight away. I don’t hold it against anyone who doesn’t text me back. If it’s urgent then pick up the phone and call.

1

Photos99999 t1_j1q4c3w wrote

If somebody totally ignores my messages, at some point I’m done with them. I don’t care what your reasoning is. You’re sending a message by ignoring my messages.

0

deadbreath45 t1_j1q74a0 wrote

Well i am seeing that some people are diverging themselves from the point. my point is very clear if you have seen any kind of message then whenever you get the time try to reply to it otherwise the person who has texted will feel that you don't care about them Whenever you get the time i am saying this two to three times . I know that people are not available 24x7 .

0