nutterbutters54321 t1_j6g6dv0 wrote on January 30, 2023 at 2:26 AM

Reply to comment by srfrosky in LPT: practise non-attachment to get rid of jealousy by Prestigious-Sense942

This is what cult weirdo keith raneire taught members of his harem to convince them that their objections to having sex with other people was their problem, and to convince them to take his abuse freely.

srfrosky t1_j6g8k1r wrote on January 30, 2023 at 2:39 AM

I think you took two words “love” & “freely” and made the connection. But nothing of what I said renders anyone incapable of choosing who to be with, or enables abuse or coercion. Read more carefully what I wrote. It merely describes relations free of possessiveness, and i question those that demand reciprocity to love. None of that should be controversial. Don’t we all always talk about love devoid of condition as love of the highest form?

nutterbutters54321 t1_j6pfyrh wrote on January 31, 2023 at 11:31 PM

That’s what abusers used to justify taking other people’s love and showing none in return. I would not advise anybody getting tangled up with anyone in that way outside of a parent-child relationship. If someone treats you like garbage or fails to show you love that becomes a data point in your decision about your regard for them.

srfrosky t1_j6phgga wrote on January 31, 2023 at 11:41 PM

Yikes. I think you got a very backwards understanding of love if you think it’s transactional and conditional. I’m happy to say that I love who I chose to love, and am happy to report that if someone is toxic or abusive towards me or others I’m free to distance myself from them on those grounds. You see, you don’t HAVE to love someone that is awful. The only distinction is that you can love independent to what you get in return. But it takes maturity to not insert power dynamics. You should give it a try. Cheers 🥂