Submitted by [deleted] t3_10d3klg in LifeProTips
[deleted]
Comments
utrangerbob t1_j4lnzew wrote
God damn how shitty of a family do you have so you can't trust family for 5-6 hours in your place. If you have that little faith then say no. You're allowed to do that.
[deleted] OP t1_j4jit4y wrote
[deleted]
drveni_advokat t1_j4kjtag wrote
>'m going to order and pay for pizza so he doesn't have to use my fridge.
?
Wtf.
This does not sound normal to me. If you have that big concerns about this person, you should not let him stay in your place at all.
-kilix- t1_j4ksiak wrote
exactly. Either OP is unhealthily attached to his fridge or OP's guest is satan or something.
universalrifle t1_j4l2hfz wrote
There has to be something really freaky in the fridge, OP watches too much Dahmer
ramblingamblinamblin t1_j4lm00o wrote
Yeah - this story was all routine unyil the "twisted unhygenic habits" came into play. You are clearly not comfortable having this person in your space, and you clearly have a valid reason for feeling that way. Your family, members and friends don't have any business pressuring you about this because it's not their refrigerator that's gonna get messed with… This person can wait at the airport, wait at Walmart… Go to the mall… Whatever… This is not your problem if you are not comfortable, then having this person in your space, causing you a lot of worry and stress, and this should not be happening.
WenaChoro t1_j4ln8ip wrote
the story was weird from the start, it was a dumb question to begin with
ThinkingBroad t1_j4lmrua wrote
Pay for a motel room for a day
FoxInLilac t1_j4lsiwd wrote
That's what I was thinking. It sounds like it would be worth the money to book him a motel by the airport. Peace of mind!
beanzilla83 t1_j4ld2pe wrote
I agree. There's more to this than "I don't know them very well". 😅
No-Psychology1751 t1_j4k1h67 wrote
You can‘t leave us hanging like OP. Does he do naughty things to food??
illessen t1_j4k7bzx wrote
Have you ever seen the movie American Pie?
hannahatecats t1_j4m5nbl wrote
Mmmm free icing
DrManhattan_DDM t1_j4mc0zj wrote
Free? Nope, you gotta work for it.
webmarc t1_j4jx4wr wrote
like what habits?
valuethempaths t1_j4l76gf wrote
Twisted ones.
sillylilwabbit t1_j4ladc1 wrote
Does it include warm apple pie ?
LostMyThread t1_j4kvfi9 wrote
If you can't lock up the things he might contaminate, you will need to throw away anything suspect when you get back. Rather than stress and guess, decide whether you're willing to toss what you cannot sanitize. If not, (if doing that will cost more than an airbnb or motel room near the airport), make an excuse and change the plan. I'm sorry your family put you in this position.
You don't owe anyone your peace of mind about your own home.
skymoods t1_j4mc7rp wrote
you don't owe him any favors, 5-6 hours is short enough that he can go to the airport early and rest there. there's zero reason to let him into your home after you know he's done unusual/twisted things. he probably reached out because he knows you are an easy target. please cancel the visit, make up any excuse necessary.
TheReinsofFullnight t1_j4lr9km wrote
Except he’d try to be nice and give you the left over pizza in a ziplock or something and stick it in the fridge.
hannahatecats t1_j4m5khc wrote
I mean, this might be comparable to a hotel if you just add in your peace of mind.
iiCleanup t1_j4m1xws wrote
They gonna open the fridge no matter what you do man
Unique-Shape4792 t1_j4juedt wrote
If you're that concerned about him being in your place, then politely say no. Either your super paranoid, or your not comfortable with this situation. Either way it's your place and you call the shots
Tasty-Might-8056 t1_j4l4xm8 wrote
1/3
hmm_mozey t1_j4l5yoo wrote
I counted 3/5.
z0mb1es t1_j4lm9d2 wrote
Your write
hannahatecats t1_j4m5vnl wrote
It took me a long time to find all 5 because my brain just skips over the ones that are right lol. How do you mix them in one sentence?
Unique-Shape4792 t1_j4m8ndw wrote
What am I missing? Grammer? All 5 of what?
productiveanger t1_j4mmads wrote
Correct use of you’re/your
[deleted] OP t1_j4m9yaw wrote
[removed]
thgirwa t1_j4jh618 wrote
My LPT? Relax. Is this a normal person that your family know well (even if you don’t)? The vibe I getting from you is that this is not a good person. Is that true? Or are you just being paranoid? If the former, relax. They’ll probably be very appreciative and respectful of your house.
If you have serious things of value, yes lock them up (I have a small fireproof safe for stuff like that. I highly recommend it). But taping your fridge? Seriously? Who cares if they open you fridge for a glass of OJ or make a sandwhich? I know you’re doing them a favor, but they’re a guest, show some level of hospitality.
If you have reason to not trust this person specifically, then tell them they need a hotel. But if not, know that most people are kind and respectful, and will be appreciative of a place to sleep before catching an early flight. As much as the work can sometimes be a scary and dark place, most people are honest, and caring, and respectful. I don’t think you have anything to fearz
[deleted] OP t1_j4ji05z wrote
[deleted]
timmyboyoyo t1_j4jjfro wrote
Who did you hear it from (don't need to say), but tell your brother this then, as he is co-owner
[deleted] OP t1_j4jkd99 wrote
[deleted]
TuckerCarlsonsOhface t1_j4jofjt wrote
So, the people who know this person think he’s that sketchy, but still want you to open your home to them without you even being there to facilitate? I would honestly tell them to gently screw off. If they’re so concerned they can pay for his hotel.
southdakotagirl t1_j4jrlvf wrote
I let a coworker stay at my house and house sit for me. He was leaving a bad relationship that was abusive. He ended up costing me $1500 in damages and water for staying 2 weeks. He broke my washer hoses and leaked water all over the basement. He didn't notice the hoses were no longer attached. He used my garage and rammed his car into the items stored in the garage. He forced his car to fit damaging the wicker furniture set that he ran into. He ran over boxes of tile in the garage. He moved a cast iron sink that was stored in the garage and dropped it and cracked it. He moved a antique kitchen table and broke the legs. I have to rent a dumpster to throw out all the broken items. He broke every item in the garage. If your gut is telling you don't do this, please dont. I regret it.
No-Psychology1751 t1_j4k0c7u wrote
Wtf. Sounds like he was the problem in his last relationship
Ricky---Spanish t1_j4l6upt wrote
He Sounds like a drunk
IsuzuTrooper t1_j4lencf wrote
more like a perve who likes to jizz on things
Malkavius2 t1_j4kv8s3 wrote
He was the reason for breaking the relationship. Sounds like trashy
Also, usually family is better Plus its only 6 hours
runswithdolls t1_j4lbxg1 wrote
I got roasted in another post for commenting that I would have told someone leaving an abusive relationship that no they absolutely could not stay at my house for a "single night". Anyone who has ever actually offered someone "leaving an abusive relationship" knows how that actually goes - exactly like you've just described. There's often drugs or alcohol involved at the end of the crappiest relationships, and I'm not up for putting my family or my belongings through that nonsense again.
JuicyBreeze t1_j4k9tib wrote
What the fuck is wrong with you. Tell your family politely but firmly that this guy will be staying in a hotel. If you have to hide everything and throw away your food everything is definitely not fine.
KITTEHZ t1_j4kicoy wrote
My friend. Do not let this person into your home. If it’s not too late to back out now, explain that actually this won’t be possible, but you’re happy to chip in for a hotel. Then offer to pay whatever you’d have paid for the pizza and soda. If anyone has a problem with it, just be very apologetic but don’t actually explain why, you’ll just get into a debate. These people can’t force you to open your home to someone who you have been warned WOULD MESS WITH YOUR FOOD. Sometimes it’s ok to draw a boundary and stand firm, even if it means other relatives might be annoying. “I’m so sorry I won’t actually be able to help” keep repeating it. They’ll eventually forget and it’ll blow over.
EggplantIll4927 t1_j4kz2gc wrote
JFC rescind the ok! You are more important than this random relative that you DONT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH!!!!
timmyboyoyo t1_j4js06l wrote
Why don't you tell your brother to put a lock then, and they should understand your concern then, even more because they told you, something don't add up
Shizz-happens t1_j4kqu4s wrote
Seriously, just say no. Tell the, you changed your mind and are simply uncomfortable with the idea of someone in your house when you’re away. If they understand, you’ll feel good about your decision, if they get mad, then you’ll know you made the right decision.
zeroth1 t1_j4jt74t wrote
Dude, chillax. He's not going to jizz on your food.
TrishaThoon t1_j4l3vbk wrote
At this point I am thinking that is indeed a possibility.
Belzeturtle t1_j4k2jjv wrote
... that we know of.
IsuzuTrooper t1_j4lewhb wrote
toothbrush
TLinster t1_j4lvmrx wrote
OP isn’t sure about this
LeoPillow t1_j4knqut wrote
Your brother is fucking with you.
TrishaThoon t1_j4l3sd7 wrote
So why are you letting this person stay in your home???
o-rka t1_j4lv1ce wrote
I’m just gonna ask…is he adding his own special sauce to items in other peoples fridge?
coloradopesto t1_j4mfkos wrote
Have your brother talk to him, and have your brother tell him that he shouldn’t be staying there because of his past proclivities.
homeworkunicorn t1_j4kakup wrote
Tell them that your toilet is broken (or any other household "fix" excuse you like, plumbing is good) and you are so sorry but they cannot stay there. Offer to give them 50 bucks towards a hotel. Any story you make up will work, any time it is "fixed" or "still isn't" is totally viable. Do it and don't look back.
[deleted] OP t1_j4le9kh wrote
[removed]
SunshineJoyous t1_j4jwj71 wrote
If it really bothers you, find him a handy decent hostel (own private room) or airbnb or motel (or whatever the most decent option you can afford)
Say you have covid/gastro/some other unpleasant contagious illness. Or some other viable reason.
It might cost you money but save you peace of mind and he’ll feel like he’s being specially treated.
Somewhere that’s got decent reviews, is safe and clean and in a safe suburb.
Apologise for the change of plans but you wouldn’t want him to miss his flight or travels due to xyz.
hahnsoloii t1_j4lbo7l wrote
As for the sickness didn’t op say they were going somewhere? Wouldn’t said sickness keep them home perhaps? Good thinking if op pretends to be home and cancels trip. It’s probably too late now but they could have said they are already having someone else stay. Or they could have someone else stay and house sit?
Citizen_G t1_j4k0lrp wrote
This is crazy. Basically this person is a stranger to you and you should not have to open up your place to him considering the risks you have already mentioned.
Your family members who want you to have him stay at your place can all chip in and pay for a hotel room for this person they care for so much. Not your problem.
As I have gotten older I have learned that saying "NO" is good for my mental health and is often the wise choice.
heavy_metal_man t1_j4l9nfm wrote
I have made a conscious decision to be more decisive with family situations. In the past I was soft and wishy washy about things and my family took full advantage. I am seriously pissed off and have made a change in my life .
It definitely is good for mental health.
Citizen_G t1_j4lavsg wrote
Glad to hear you took charge.
People seem to forget that just because someone is family doesn't mean they are a good person. I have had to distance myself from a family member for my own peace of mind. Some of my friends are better family to me than my own family.
ramblingamblinamblin t1_j4lm9cv wrote
I would rather have any random strangers from Walmart or the gas station stay in my house and supervisor than a family member.
AngelThrones4sale t1_j4ks44i wrote
I'm on the other side of the "this is crazy here".
It's a family member crashing at her place for a few hours while she's away. Is it possible that he's a creep? I guess, but then get him on a webchat and suss him out. If there's a reason he gives off a creepy vibe, then yeah don't let him in your house. And ok, why not lock up a few important things somewhere and tell him not to poke around in certain places? sure.
But otherwise, come on, I've had friends of friends crash at my place. Not that big a deal.
cautioner86 t1_j4ky6ow wrote
The OP has said he has been warned by other family members to lock up valuables and food around this person, though. If I heard that, no way this person would be staying with me but I’m also at the point in life where I can say no to people.
TrishaThoon t1_j4l3yog wrote
Read the comments-there appears to be more to the story.
landob t1_j4k37el wrote
Why can't this person just stay at the airport? I've slept for a few hours at the airport before.
samsharksworthy t1_j4jxd1g wrote
It sounds like you aren’t comfortable having them as a guest so maybe you shouldn’t have them stay with you.
mduzy124 t1_j4k6t12 wrote
Just recall your invitation. 5-6 hours is not a long time. That person can manage.
CXLV t1_j4jewks wrote
To be honest? A distant family member is no different than a stranger to me. I’d back out of the arrangement. I’d never let someone I don’t know we’ll stay in my apartment under any circumstances. Even if I’m there. You’re under no obligation to do so. Ask the visitor to get a hotel. You can make up any excuse you want.
snakeychat t1_j4jpb3e wrote
What a shitty person, thank god my family is nice
[deleted] OP t1_j4jg7x3 wrote
[deleted]
CXLV t1_j4ji7i7 wrote
Of course it's still an option. You can ask your brother for the keys back, low-key tell him that you've changed your mind or just lie and say you're going to be there. It is your house.
At the end of the day, it sounds like you're just not comfortable with this. What I'm trying to explain is that this is totally fine. You can be unapologetic about this. You can be polite but firm. It doesn't matter if you already said yes, you can change your mind. If you're this close to an airport, you're also close to hotels that this guy can stay at. Full stop.
If you're worried about someone opening the fridge and just eating food, then yeah there's nothing you can do short of not letting this person stay in your house. Otherwise, lock valuables up (or take them with you).
_Nightrider121200_ t1_j4jggjx wrote
I will have to disagree with OP and some of the commentators.
If your family member is asking a favor, especially a favor that does not cost you, consider it a gift and an opportunity to connect with the person.
Take a leap of faith and trust the person.
You may not know, but a generation ago such things were completely normal.
A Few generations ago it was normal to offer a night stay to strangers.
cautioner86 t1_j4kyha2 wrote
OP connecting with the family member:
“So what’s this I hear about you sticking your dick in people’s food?”
Shizz-happens t1_j4krdng wrote
No way, they are actually asking, would you do something that makes you uncomfortable so that this relative whom you don’t know very well can be more comfortable. I mean, we could all chip in and get him a hotel but then that would require something from us. We want you to take this on alone. Many people think that we should do unreasonable things for “family”. Unreasonable for anyone is still unreasonable. They should never have put OP in that position. Asking for an unreasonable favor is their bad. OP saying no is reasonable. Why can’t this guy stay in a hotel or the airport like other travelers do all the time?
-EvaCake- t1_j4k2yvu wrote
I'm having a baby tomorrow while my mom stays at my house with my 3 yo. Of course she won't take anything, but she snoops big time. Wish I could see her face when she stumbles upon my sex toys and lubes in the closet. She's super conservative Baptist, so should scar her a bit lol
mit-mit t1_j4l0b8a wrote
Good luck with the birth!
_People_Know_ t1_j4ltg1g wrote
Put a note in the closet — “Hi Gretchen! Smile for the camera!” Or something like that.
Independent_Season23 t1_j4ljtj6 wrote
I was not expecting to read this, but it sure did make me laugh!
MaggieRV t1_j4k8vco wrote
If you're that paranoid that you would consider taping your cabinets and want to know if they open the refrigerator (which is what I would consider to be very insulting), then you shouldn't have them over when you're not there.
ChocolateBananaCats t1_j4jm7b8 wrote
The only way to ensure that he doesn't touch any of your stuff is to lock it up or remove it from your home. Can you box it up and store it somewhere overnight, such as your car, garage, your job, or a friend's apartment? If you want to tape up your fridge, don't be subtle. Seal it in such a way that it would be obvious if it was messed with, like tamper proof tape. Tape it up, take a photo with your phone, and take the remainder of the roll of tamper proof tape with you when you go.
I kind of want to know how he is twisted in an unhygienic way, and a kinda really DON'T want to know! Good luck!
thebug50 t1_j4k4bj4 wrote
I'd have to know a person pretty freaking well and have developed a strong first hand trust to let them stay in my home without me there. Maybe I have trust issues, or maybe humanity is commonly gross, weird, and dishonest.
birdsarus t1_j4kwqlx wrote
If you this worried, then just tell them they can’t stay.
Wide-Turnover-6960 t1_j4kppn5 wrote
I just wonder how this turned out.
yamaha2000us t1_j4kx2jk wrote
“No” is an answer as well.
You are an adult and so is this relative. The person can make other arrangements.
RenaissanceBear t1_j4l75hy wrote
This is abnormal. If you’re this worried you should have said no.
KickUpstairs6039 t1_j4kquk4 wrote
If you are that uncomfortable with someone in your home, don’t trust them, and don’t want them to know you don’t trust them, consider skipping the opportunity or being honest about your expectations.
boringbutkewt t1_j4l5nt3 wrote
I don’t know why you’d agree to this if it leaves you this concerned or anxious. 5-6 hours are nothing so I wouldn’t even have asked someone to crash, I’d just stay at the airport reading or watching Netflix. If possible, say you actually don’t feel comfortable so you cannot offer a place anymore.
mattwopointoh t1_j4lqtvs wrote
I agree. It's the airport. Who hasn't been stuck at the airport for 6 hours? Grow the f up. The whole place is full of shit to do or places to take quick naps.
zagaara t1_j4kg5fj wrote
I won't do the favour at first place if I'm not at home. No matter what the reason,ask him get a HOTEL nearby the airport.
EggplantIll4927 t1_j4kyys3 wrote
Have you spoken to him directly? God I hope so. And I hope some day you realize you never have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. He could have rented a room at the airport hotel. No one needs to inconvenience you to this level.
Personally I would call him back and tell him or text him, I’m not comfortable w someone in my home when I’m not there, especially since we don’t have a personal relationship. My home will not be available to you in the 16th. (Insert date here).
then when the relatives start up say you can all pitch in $50 and rent him a room. My home is not a hostel and I was foolish to consider this for even a moment.
chokesatstakebacks t1_j4lcire wrote
You're going to let a sandwich fucker into your apartment? What if he makes sandwiches, fucks them, then puts it back in your fridge? What if he poops and doesnt wash his hands and touches your light switch and then you touch your light switch and then you touch your eye and then you get pink eye. Does this ever happen to you??????
mangofired t1_j4lutq6 wrote
Three sentences here that I have never read before. Lol
WandasWorld t1_j4mmwfp wrote
Now I am going to have to listen to see if company washes their hands after using the bathroom. Thanks for that! 😒
Shizz-happens t1_j4kqnx6 wrote
This is a good time to start saying no. Tell them you felt pressured and obligated to say yes but you really are not comfortable with it. He can spend 5 hours at the airport- I’ve done it many times, or they can chip in to rent him a hotel. If you say yes, then, them imposing on you could become a regular thing.
homeworkunicorn t1_j4kab1l wrote
Would be cheaper and less stressful to just pay for him to stay in a cheap hotel. This is a no go for me :)
Dustinwickett t1_j4ks883 wrote
This is just weird. Set some boundaries and say no.
ExtentEcstatic5506 t1_j4l18zh wrote
It’s simple, tell them sorry but you can’t let them stay and then recommend a hotel by the airport.
heavy_metal_man t1_j4l9022 wrote
I think the other family members are holding back info about this guy. Hard NO at the initial request would have put this to bed.
Disastrous-Orchid-64 t1_j4l93k2 wrote
Don’t do it, OP. You’ll regret it and it’s already stressing you out. There’s a reason you’re leery. Go with your gut on this.
onimush115 t1_j4kwvwc wrote
I’ve definitely had requests like this in the past from extended family that for some reason would rather reach out to family they barely know than get a hotel room.
I’m far too weak of a person to just outright say no, so I just make up excuses about why they can’t lol
Some people just have the mindset of if someone is family, then that’s enough. I can’t wrap my head around that. To me they are still strangers and we just happen to know some of the same people.
MrsMurphysChowder t1_j4l6zkd wrote
No one I don't know well and trust would ever be allowed to stay in my home if I wasn't going to be there. Back out of this offer, OP. You don't owe the sacrifice of your security and peace of mind to anyone.
BaluePeach t1_j4ldk94 wrote
A hair placed in the jam of a closed cabinet or somewhere that falls out when opened, will let you know after the fact if someone opened something. Source: my brothers and I could never be trusted to stay out of our parents stuff. We finally found out how dad always knew.
xacc8519 t1_j4lkxf3 wrote
Why can’t the person just sit at the airport? People have had 6 hour layovers. He’ll live.
No-Shelter-7753 t1_j4lofup wrote
Last time I let someone crash at my place, I regretted it big time. It was March of 2020.
First of all it was the beginning of COVID curfews and he called me like 10+ times between 10:30pm and 10:40pm, waking me up. Then he literally said “I’m black and I’m coming into Saint Louis and they have these curfews and you know with George Floyd and stuff… I have nowhere to go and I’m scared…. 😢”
I was caught off guard. I don’t allow bags in my house, but all he had was a Fanny pack, so I thought wallet, keys, phone, charger. He doesn’t wanna leave valuables in the car. Makes sense.
I got inappropriately groped, my entire clonozopam prescription stolen, my only piece of gold jewelry stolen, he jerked off in my bathroom and left…white…matter…on my toilet cover seat and all over my walls and shower curtain that’s blacks w silver.
It led to a “no people other than me allowed in my home ever” rule.
Even maintenance from my complex I will watch. If I don’t they literally break everything they touch. 🙄
My best LPT: Don’t let anyone stay with you, ever. No matter how sad their story. Don’t do it.
truefforte t1_j4jt1za wrote
Add very light dusting of powder or baking soda or flour on things he could touch that you want to know. If he touches it you’ll be able to tell. Make it super light dusting so it’s not obvious at quick glance.
Put up paper sign With ton of tape blocking use of it marked private so it can’t be opened. Any guest should be fine with not touching anything private.
Put something super small in very distinct way you’d remember so if it’s touched you’d know.
So if you put baking soda all over floor and sign it with your finger so he can’t replace it in room he’s not supposed to be in he can’t ever complain if he sees that as he’s not supposed to be there!
universalrifle t1_j4l2axx wrote
I would almost 100% look In the fridge but might not take anything I just like looking at food. Even if you don't have cameras, you should at least say something to make them think they are being recorded. It doesn't always work but it will seed his thought process. Also, just ask say that if they want something from the fridge let you know and maybe they could help you out getting anything replaced? You also have to remind them it is a favor and that you will remember this and expect an equal favor sometime. Most of my cousins would not come to my house tho, so you must be at least kinda nice
SafetyMan35 t1_j4l2mz4 wrote
Put him up at a hotel near the airport and don’t have him stay at your place.
Worrying about the guest finding grandma’s priceless jewelry or opening the display cabinet housing the signed Michael Jordan game ball from his last game is something to be concerned about. Secure/hide those items in a locked closet.
Worrying about your guest opening your refrigerator or kitchen cabinet while looking for a glass to get a drink of water is simply an unhealthy fear. Have them stay at a hotel.
SECAllDay t1_j4l8ghd wrote
Lol you crazy lunatic just don’t let him stay there if you are this worried
soyjavali t1_j4l8kj7 wrote
You can always say no... I mean if you're this uncomfortable why agree to this? I'd only do this with someone I trust even if other family members ask. Afterall it's my personal private space.
runswithdolls t1_j4lbfh0 wrote
The word is "no". If you feel bad you can offer to split hotel fees.
soyjavali t1_j4lf0iv wrote
Honestly I can't even imagine myself asking for this kind of favor from a stranger. It's too big of an ask. That family member should at the very least directly ask this from you. Although the answer would be the same if it happened to me.
This-Dot-7514 t1_j4lnq1k wrote
OP, be honest. How many human heads are in your fridge?
mat42m t1_j4lodej wrote
I think it’s more odd that you won’t let a dude open your fridge. Who cares
Lr217 t1_j4lu2uh wrote
I couldn’t imagine asking a family member to let a friend stay with them while simultaneously warning them to lock up their possessions and throw away their food because the friend is so sketchy
Koda_20 t1_j4m1tj4 wrote
Alright so first you're gonna wanna get a collar and leash. This is useful to keep your guest in a specified radius. It should be long enough to reach the bathroom and bedroom.
Secondly you're gonna wanna hire someone to stand watch and shout if necessary. They should be able to monitor your guest should any issues arrive. You might also need a leash and collar for your guard, in case he decides to go for the refrigerator as well.
Next up you're gonna wanna get a bike lock for the fridge door. If guest thinks it's suspicious tell them you have a half dead body in there that you don't want getting out. He will understand.
Finally you're probably gonna wanna just get your buddy an Airbnb for the night instead
franksthegreat t1_j4m3sqn wrote
Obvious karma baiting doesn’t answer anyone’s question and just spams “unhygienic habit”. If it is real just say no ffs
SavingsDelay6729 t1_j4mj3dn wrote
If my family "knew" and trusted this person, I would have to ask them why they don't have him stay at their places.
keepthetips t1_j4jeh7w wrote
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
el-em-en-o t1_j4kk6qj wrote
I get this. The fam asked you to help him out and now you’re stuck. Or something like that. If you have a car, maybe lock stuff up in the trunk?
Or, if you’re willing to spend $60-70, you could get one of these.
Good luck! From what you’ve described, I would feel the same way.
[deleted] OP t1_j4kt0xv wrote
[removed]
genkieveryday t1_j4kwy62 wrote
Is it really a big issue that he use your fridge?
I thought you would be worry about some cash you left in some drawers
[deleted] OP t1_j4l4uvm wrote
[removed]
blackdahlialady t1_j4lbz7d wrote
Just because your family is pressuring you to do this doesn't mean you have to. You can always go back on it and just explain that you're not comfortable having a stranger in your place. You said you hardly know him. It is your place that you're paying for and you don't have to allow anyone in there if you're uncomfortable with the idea. Just tell them the truth, you're not comfortable with the idea. Don't give in to their pressure.
Captain_Tooth t1_j4li2o3 wrote
Pour a couple condoms with white dish soap and leave it in areas that you don't want the person to touch. Problem solved.
SquigglyMoonlet t1_j4lkvtq wrote
Sounds kind of trashy but if you don’t want him in your room tape it up from both sides as good as possible and if any tape comes off just trim a small piece of paint chip to later match it. Next for the fridge remove all of your food and if possible go to your nearest store that sells ice or use any ice in your house if you have any and put all the food in a cooler big enough to preserve it. If you get dry ice you can put that in the cooler so that it keeps even frozen food still stable for a little bit and put the cooler inside your room. That’s like my best idea honestly.
[deleted] OP t1_j4ll9o5 wrote
[removed]
Lilliputian0513 t1_j4lmdsq wrote
Is this a person you would allow to stay in your home if you were not related to them?
No is an acceptable answer. It doesn’t sound like this is a relationship you would mind losing (you barely have it). It is not your responsibility to care for anyone, even blood family members. The family that guilted you can all pitch in $50/each and get a really decent hotel room for a night. Do not light yourself on fire to keep these people warm.
LichtbringerU t1_j4loxv3 wrote
At that point I would pay for him to stay in a hotel. It's not fair, but having to let him stay in your house because of family pressure isn't fair either. So either tell them flat out no, or pay for a nights stay in a hotel.
But obviously you know the situation best.
[deleted] OP t1_j4lqd97 wrote
[removed]
[deleted] OP t1_j4lrvtl wrote
[removed]
sarish26 t1_j4ls40h wrote
OP is getting stressed more in imagination then he will be in reality.
QiyanasStoriesYT t1_j4ls88d wrote
The main post sounds like you have something you want to hide.
It needs an update to clarify this.
The first thing I thought is you have sex toys and you don't want this person finding them and telling your family - as this person is a snooping one.
When I read about the fridge I start thinking you have something weird there.
Anyway, it's your apartment, get control over it. Seems u let some other people force you to do something you are not comfortable with.
Triasmus t1_j4ludlg wrote
There once was a teenager who used his parents' extra car without permission. His mom got home, took one glance at the car, and then grounded the kid because she knew he used it.
Another opportunity came up to use the car. The kid tried to get the car at the exact same spot, but again, he was immediately grounded when his mom got home.
That happened again and again. The kid took polaroids; lining up the car and even the tire tread exactly as shown in the pictures. Still... Grounded.
Years later, after acquiring his own teenager who liked to break the rules, the kid asked his mother how she knew when he'd take the car.
She replied, "Oh that! I would just put a hair in the door. If it was gone I knew you had taken the car. 😁"
Substantial-Dish1283 t1_j4lvszb wrote
If you've ever played Skyrim, once someone allows you into their home, all of their stuff is up for grabs.
[deleted] OP t1_j4lyy5s wrote
[removed]
Lunar_Gato t1_j4lzvix wrote
I saw on a YouTube video a trick to see if someone messes with your stuff in prison. You put some baby powder in your hand and blow a fine dust over the item. If it was moved you can see it in the dust. Almost like if you take an item off a shelf to dust that hasn’t moved in a long time there is a mark on the shelf where the item sat and dust couldn’t get underneath. So if it’s a candle for example you’ll see a circle on the shelf where it sat. If it doesn’t line up perfectly you know it was moved.
[deleted] OP t1_j4m1gmo wrote
[removed]
theycallmeick t1_j4m292a wrote
On one hand I can see that you don’t know this person, but on the other how psychotic do you have to be to want to tape your fridge shut to catch him in the act of being fucking hungry?
This doesn’t belong here, this belongs in AITA, and yes. Yes you are the asshole. You probably don’t know him because other family members warned him about your psychotic mannerisms.
[deleted] OP t1_j4m2pex wrote
[removed]
huh_phd t1_j4m8pni wrote
Put laundry detergent on them then hit their hands with a blacklight
skymoods t1_j4mb8el wrote
Please cancel the visit. You know he does twisted things you’ve hear the stories. It seems like he was vetting you as his next target since you’re conveniently out of town.
IvyTh3Twisted t1_j4mbh2n wrote
After reading your comments. Honestly i think you are better off just paying for an overnight motel stay for this person. I’n most places it would be under $100.
DooDoBrown t1_j4mdsiy wrote
Yeah it's totally ok to say NO.
Mousse83 t1_j4memm7 wrote
Just buy a tile or apple airtag and put them in the things youre worried about being stolen
nsnewyork t1_j4mgz8t wrote
If you hardly know this person - and the thought of them staying at your home is making you uncomfortable (which I totally get) maybe politely decline letting them stay. You can say no 😊
Hamsterpatty t1_j4jq6f9 wrote
I think if you just ask nicely they would respect your wishes.. it sounds like your other family members trust them enough to ask you to help.. do you not trust their judgement?
[deleted] OP t1_j4l46p2 wrote
[deleted]
achatteringsound t1_j4k1u10 wrote
This sounds like it’s outside your boundaries- but it might be too late to graciously back out. You’ll either find out that it felt good to take a chance on a family member or that you never want to do that again. Either way, something is gained.
AlekiaoftheNorth t1_j4k9asl wrote
If it's too late to 'graciously' back out, I suggest OP back out without grace.
OP, get the locks changed if you have to. Don't let this person into your home if you don't trust them. The anxiety you're having already says enough about how this will impact your mental health.
Malkavius2 t1_j4kv305 wrote
Come on
What will he do in 5 hours. He's family.
Just tape a note on your fridge etc if you are so concerned.
Pizza, Snacks, Water and free bed for 6 hours is more than enough!
KennstduIngo t1_j4l9u90 wrote
>He's family.
There are MANY, MANY stories about parents stealing their own kids identities to open credit cards, etc, and all other sorts of other fuckery. A distant relative is no more trustworthy than a complete stranger. If they can afford a plane ticket they can afford a cheap hotel for the night.
Malkavius2 t1_j4mb7rm wrote
Sorry, you may be right. From where I come (poor 3rd world), we are more considerate.
A family member would not mess esp if others vouch. Its very rare but US has its own issues maybe
billstrash t1_j4kx6qn wrote
People are fucked up now. There's person, a relative ffs, who asked a favor. Just do it. Not much more thought needed. Hide your diamonds and rolexes. Otherwise, make them feel as welcome into your home as humanly possible. Quit being a selfish fuck. Go out of your way to make it a great 5-6 hours for them. And then start to approach life with a more positive approach. You need it.
cautioner86 t1_j4kypyr wrote
He’s been told this guy will do “twisted and unhygienic “ things to his food. It’s not selfish if I don’t want someone like that in my house, it’s called boundaries.
billstrash t1_j4l0et4 wrote
Does that prediction really pass any sniff test for you?
cautioner86 t1_j4l22hq wrote
If my brother says, don’t let this guy around your food, then yeah I’m not letting this guy around my food. I trust my brother more than a distant relative I’ve never met. I take your point but I’m going based off the info I have. I’m not making accusations based on info I don’t have.
Fabulous-Ant123 t1_j4k7kia wrote
Damn, is it so hard to trust people? In my place we give one key to neighbours when we leave our home for few days.
sawta2112 t1_j4jsa83 wrote
I have opened my home to so many people over the years. Stop being paranoid. It's just for a few hours
jinsen333 t1_j4jfhux wrote
Just lock up your valuables. It's fine to trust them about the rest. They might open the fridge, make a sandwich but you can let that slide. Nothing more than that can happen.