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TR_KingCobrah t1_j6d8es0 wrote

I highly recommend reading a book called Atomic Habits, one of the things he pointed out was instead of saying to yourself, I "have" to do this thing instead say I "get" to do this thing. And instead of focusing on a specific goal, try to become the type of person that reaches that goal, focus on the identity. Also I know the times when I don't want to do something and I end up doing it I feel a thousand times better. discipline is doing things you know you have to do when you don't want to do it.

Example: personally I'm running to get in shape for a marathon I have to switch the goal in my mind from goal oriented to the identity of a runner. I completely understand his point of view because when I did my first half marathon in 2021 I got in shape I ran the marathon and then I got lazy because I didn't have a goal, so now with my mindset of having the identity of a runner in my mind it's much easier to train.

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permission777 OP t1_j6dgiki wrote

assuming the identity is a good one. thank you for the tip

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drAsparagus t1_j6fhefh wrote

And this is also a good way to conquer imposter syndrome.

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ThatsHisEagerFace44 t1_j6fpvqp wrote

What is imposter syndrome?

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StarSpongledDongle t1_j6g5r3p wrote

I want to tell you, but I feel like there are a lot of people better qualified than me to do it.

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ThatsHisEagerFace44 t1_j6g62gw wrote

I suppose I could get off my lazy bum and look it up

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9dnguy t1_j6i7xsb wrote

So what is it?

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jesuisserpent t1_j6in1vo wrote

They were making a joke playing off imposter syndrome. The best way to explain it is through example: let’s say I’m a successful CEO but I still look in the mirror and see my teenage self that made lots of mistakes and I think everyone else sees me the same way. So even though I AM a CEO factually and I do my job well enough to have it, I feel like an imposter because I feel too stupid to have it, unworthy, etc.

I think almost everyone has some form of imposter syndrome especially when people around you don’t treat you the way that you should be (like a mother over babying their adult child or something)

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Socal-vegan t1_j6fbuvc wrote

I have this book but I haven’t read it. Silly me used my goal as an incentive to want to do something rather than “have to” do something.

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Tsura-Len t1_j6ghabl wrote

Never thought about it like that. Thanks! I'll have to look this up. Personally I'm trying to run to get a little more in shape too and I do this exact mistake. I tell myself I HAVE to do it and I have no choice.

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Londonforce t1_j6e56k8 wrote

Never tell anyone your goals. I don't know why it works, but it does.

Show up at work on Monday having run a marathon the day before. Don't let people even know that you run or started running. Once you make yourself the only audience that matters you have everything you need

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trymypi t1_j6eij7w wrote

Not saying this is wrong, but the opposite can sometimes help. Speaking your goal outwardly and telling people can help you commit to it, and avoid saying why it didn't work. Possibly even proving some people wrong.

Still, I agree with you because this is not always the case. Plenty of things I want to do for myself, other things some people just don't care about, so why bring it up.

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Michayl20 t1_j6esq1z wrote

Having a good core group of friends help with this too, being able to share your goals with like minded people is awesome

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little_mushroom_ t1_j6gkk37 wrote

Yes I feel like if you tell others before, you're kinda already getting the reward before doing the work. More fun to have done it already.

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unseen_genius t1_j6hek6x wrote

>Never tell anyone your goals. I don't know why it works, but it does.

Hustling in secret does weird things to you. It's super addictive and great when people to come to know you've secretly achieved so much!

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kakeporyou21 t1_j6hoswb wrote

Totally agree with this, I feel like if you tell someone what your goals are something in your mind already feels like it’s been accomplished.

Now I do the same just continue to grind and let them know after I have completed what I set out to do.

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sonicduckman t1_j6d9uq0 wrote

Writing tip. When ready to take a break or at the end of the day, hastily write out another sentence or two to start what you think the next paragraph or section should be. It helps you start back up with something when you need to get writing again.

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sekhmet1010 t1_j6emjmy wrote

I do this with reading and painting.

When i finish a book, i read the first few pages of the next book. And when i finish a painting, i start the sketching for the next one.

Really keeps the momentum going, and is especially helpful for people who feel a bit overwhelmed starting new things.

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baffledninja t1_j6ez4xx wrote

I can't do this. No matter the hobby (they come and go), if I start the next thing it's a one-way ticket to realizing it's 3a.m. and I gotta get up at 6 for work.

However what I like to do is a reset. If I'm sewing, that means removing any lint, oiling the machine, tidying up the work area and refilling the bobbins for the next project. But I gotta leave the project itself unstarted otherwise... see above ;)

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yanbu t1_j6e8lxj wrote

Instead of saying to yourself: “I don’t have time for this” start saying “I am not making this a priority right now.” Reframing things that way makes it easier to see that it’s you that’s the problem. And for things you’re ok with not being a priority, well that’s probably fine.

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Cliffe_Turkey t1_j6dqcpc wrote

Removing blame and judgement of myself was key. Understanding that each day was one small step and not a requim on my character, you know. Discipline and focus aren't things ANYBODY just has, they aren't even really personality traits. You wake up each day and make a value judgement about how you spend your time. Flossing, reading a book, working out, whatever.

Another way I've heard this expressed is that each day you succeed or fail "small". Don't overweight small mistakes.

Lastly, change one thing at a time. It's really hard to form new habits, so make one change and after a few months, if you are holding it steady, make another. Eventually this adds up.

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chembioteacher t1_j6doa0i wrote

Put your phone out of reach.

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chubbybronco t1_j6mmq5y wrote

If I have a lot to get done around the house I give my phone to my wife and ask her to hide it. This phone is like a magnet for my attention.

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DroolingSlothCarpet t1_j6d6rlw wrote

You're not here looking for answers so you're not going to get one.

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Pholderz t1_j6d7cal wrote

At first I thought you were being mean but I looked at OP's history and it looks like you are right. The account seems to be owned by a content farm.

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iosdevcoff t1_j6dywl6 wrote

Try understanding human psychology better. If you’re not working towards your goal, it’s not your real goal. Otherwise, you’d be working on it day and night. This is usually an answer and a very hard pill to swallow, unless, of course, you have some severe dependence. Instead of procrastinating around your so-called goal and beating yourself up for not moving forward, be sincere with yourself and ask yourself what your real goal is

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Darqnyz t1_j6emf7v wrote

You don't have to be good at it. You don't have to enjoy it. You don't even have to progress.

You have to want it. That's the bare minimum. If you are doing it because your crush is doing it, it's not gonna keep going. If you're doing it because your family insists on it, it's not gonna last.

You have to do it because you want to do it. Everything else that helps will reinforce you. But as long as that core is there, you will succeed eventually

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Amsallys t1_j6d7l6i wrote

Gamification. Set goals, steps and gifts, for steps you need to achieve. SMART goals help as well. I want to lose weight doesn't help me as a goal.' I want to go to the gym on monday and wednesday every week this month to lose weight' is a lot better. Make sure you get reminders. Post a picture of your goal on the wall, set alarms. Whatever works for you. Depending on your goals - get yourself a buddy that holds you accountable. Track your progress. Most important: You might lose a fight and still win the war. Keep going, even after failures. Good luck

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ssalp t1_j6fpjst wrote

Motion before emotion. Thinking too hard about it makes doing something really hard. If a chore or something comes to your mind, do it asap. And if you can't do it immediately or have multiple things:

To-do lists for the day: write down what you want to do today make this list as small and short as possible. Besides, ticking off things makes happy chemicals.

I am therefore I do. For example: "I am a pianist therefore I practice the piano every day." or "I am a fit person therefore I work out regularily." This especially helps in the beginner phase where you're still thinking you're just a person who happened to do that thing.

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Vckss t1_j6eeo7a wrote

No one else is going to do it for you

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medical_aid_dog t1_j6h6lf0 wrote

For me: setting small, achievable goals. I used to be like, “I’m going to get in shape. I’m going to run 5k every day” - only to immediately quit because it was such a stretch from my sedentary life.

Right now I have a goal of doing ~20 mins of yoga every day for 30 days. Tomorrow is day 30! I actually did it!

If my goal is to build a habit, I now try to whittle down what is the smallest iteration of that habit I can possibly do. And then when I think I’ve got it, try to whittle it down again.

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badmanbp2 t1_j6d7ehu wrote

Block social media sites via their DNS at the router level and then ask someone else to set the router password so you can’t change it.

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Apendica t1_j6d9vdo wrote

Website blocker extensions, leaving phone in the another room most of the day

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flightwatcher45 t1_j6ewt52 wrote

The sooner you get it done you're done! Move on to bigger and better goals each time. Keep momentum going!

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TheMooFace t1_j6fkjrk wrote

something that caused me to do a 180 on my studies was get a study buddy, we both keep each other accountable to study everyday and works very well. you could apply that to getting an accountability partner

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srv524 t1_j6fljx1 wrote

Write it all down. Yearly goals first then figure out how you're going to keep those up with monthly goals and further break down into weekly and daily

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Rollerskatingcigar t1_j6h0g5i wrote

Anything worth doing is worth doing half ass. Chip away at it!

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Honest-Poet7376 t1_j6e4xv3 wrote

Realizing tv was taking too much of my time on the weekends so I try to multitask it with something else like laundry. Watch an episode, that is a wash cycle, watch two, that is a dry cycle. Actually I really don’t want to watch anything and actually want to study but don’t have the funds so I take free classes.

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kutta14 t1_j6ev594 wrote

When wake up, tell yourself 3 mini goals for the day to achieve.

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BFG_TimtheCaptain t1_j6fekaz wrote

I've seen a lot of mental health tips here, but I feel it is important to mention your physical health too. Make sure you don't have any vitamin deficiencies that can easily be countered, because you may find your "laziness" being just a symptom of a bigger problem. Get checked out, people!

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LaikaSol t1_j6fqr19 wrote

Treating my ADHD medically.

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loudmouthglass t1_j6h4f7r wrote

Start to become your own cheerleader. If you don’t believe you can do things other ppl will struggle to as well. This means you must trust yourself and seek validation intrinsically so that you can be the build confidence over time and become even better at cheering yourself on. Being hard on yourself does not work and if it did it would have by now, so instead be nice yourself and tell yourself you are going to get good results by doing your best.

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BlondeStalker t1_j6h4p52 wrote

Successful struggling.

Listen, observe, contribute.

Everybody makes mistakes, not everyone learns from them.

Leave it better than when you found it.

If you find yourself talking fast (nerves, anger, etc), focus on your breathing, use the rhythm of your natural breath to dictate the speed of your words.

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Mapincanada t1_j6h6jn0 wrote

Don’t believe everything your mind tells you. If your mind says you don’t feel like doing something, immediately say “not today.” Then do the thing. Eventually the fear part of your brain which is responsible for preventing discomfort will stop speaking up when you feel uncomfortable.

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Latter_Sun_9039 t1_j6hedse wrote

The thing that helped me to get where i am today is i stopped smoking meth. If i had to give a pro tip it would be to stop / never start doing meth

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HrnyGrl420 t1_j6hi7mb wrote

Make lists. To do list. Grocery list. Movies u want to see list. Consult ur lists when u feel like checking Facebook.

Plan ur schedule for tomorrow before u go to bed. When ur making the days schedule as u go, it's easier to get sidetracked by temptations like tv

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EngineeringForWhat t1_j6hsexh wrote

So I grew up below the poverty line. I am a first generation American and saw my parents struggle. My dad was a contractor (handyman type) and he does some back breaking work. I started working with him on weekends when I was about 11.

Long story short, I appreciated what my dad does but did not want live like he did (paycheck to paycheck, always in some physical pain) so I decided to pursue a career in STEM. There were a lot of times I wanted to quit and drop out but every time I did there would be an odd-job my dad had for me to do that reminded me why I was doing everything I was doing. I'm now in my 30s and he's in his 60s and still working as a contractor. To this day I will still do an odd-job with him from time to time to remind myself of why I keep going down the path I'm going.

I currently work as an engineer and I'm pursuing a PhD. This is how I stay motivated.

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keepthetips t1_j6d69xs wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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Findscoolalmost t1_j6eg4oe wrote

3 months prior to my university deadline, I quite all caffiene. No more highs and lows for me - just a steady focus and calm.

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Beneficial_Yogurt_22 t1_j6eme2t wrote

Mainly I'm excited about the part where I'll persist even if it causes me to lose a leg or some other shit. It's all the idiotic sacrifice that keeps me disciplined.

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turdleyerdle t1_j6ga5az wrote

Spite. Find a source and hang onto it.

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digitalgirlie t1_j6ghevf wrote

Set the big milestones in between start and goal, then set the little steps in between those. Keep your head down and concentrate on the little steps. You’ll get there in no time.

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claymaker t1_j6gxr38 wrote

"Always do that which expands your independent capacity for action." ~ Boydian prime directive

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IncredibleTeacherMan t1_j6h7e83 wrote

Every time I think "oh boy, wouldn't it be nice to not go to the gym and just lie on the couch" I think also about the strength I've gained and how many gym sessions each increment has taken.

It's working, why would I shoot myself in the foot?

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pais_meister t1_j6hfz0a wrote

Daily Meditation - this has helped me become more focused, relaxed, less stressed

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TheIncredibleMike t1_j6hg0nk wrote

When I was going to Nursing school at 54, I would remember what it was like being a long haul trucker, living in a truck for weeks at a time. Provided all the motivation I needed to study.

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Londonforce t1_j6hpxjo wrote

I think that's a good observation. Telling people you plan on doing something remarkable usually gets a bit of praise. Maybe getting a bit of your positive emotions in advance makes you less likely to hold out for the whole thing.

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