Submitted by WindowMoon t3_10kbkec in LifeProTips

my mom has been in hospice the last month. her memory is shot, she can’t use her phone, she can’t stand, she can’t hold a conversation. she’s very confused and the shell of who she was.

ever since 2020 i’ve saved all her voicemails. including a special one that has her singing happy birthday. in march, my birthday month, i’ll be yo listen to her sing to me as much as i want.

i could hear her say my name, that say she loves me, and was thinking of me. her voice wasn’t struggling in pain, it was her.

edit: i just wanted to say thank you to everyone sharing their experiences about their loved ones. i felt dramatic about being so intensely scared and saddened by the idea of my moms passing. knowing so many others relate to what i’m experiencing is deeply comforting. thank you!



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Halsin0891 t1_j5pvk5h wrote

Will add to this: Backup your voicemails to a secondary or even tertiary location. Voicemails on mobile devices are saved by default to cloud storage. When my wife & I changed carriers from Verizon to Cricket we hadn't saved her voicemails, and Verizon deleted those voicemails immediately after we changed providers, so my wife lost her voicemails, including ones from several close relatives who had passed.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5pvqle wrote

what did you use to back them up? i’d like to do this! i don’t have extra income to pay some monthly service, tho.


Halsin0891 t1_j5pwi9h wrote

This website has the steps to move voicemails to local storage on your phone, whether it's iOS or Android. Once you've done that you can just back them up to a thumb drive using a computer & a USB cable!


WindowMoon OP t1_j5pwoic wrote

THANK YOU!! wish i could pin this for others, because others have expressed their sadness after losing voicemails of loved ones.


Halsin0891 t1_j5px87y wrote

No problem! Also, if you need a program to play the audio file on the computer, I typically recommend VLC media player. It's open source/free, and works with a ton of different audio/video files


jaweebamonkey t1_j5rwwbx wrote

Just want to add that if I’m not mistaken, iOS saves them via iCloud as long as they have been backed up via normal backup. My only source is me at the moment


Halsin0891 t1_j5ryh2i wrote

I could definitely see that being the case but I haven't owned an iOS device in nearly a decade so I couldn't confirm or deny it


jrhawk42 t1_j5q9e2z wrote

You can also run an audio cable to your PC and use voice recording software to save a file to your PC and cloud accounts.

I believe you can do the same w/ a bluetooth connection, but I haven't personally tried that method.


Dublinkxo t1_j5qdkvv wrote

you could literally use a different phone or laptop to record the sound and save it that way. I once lost a super important voicemail and I wished to God I had just recorded it onto my laptop at the time. Gone. Spent an hour on the phone with [cell carrier] for them to tell me it was gone forever. Days of crying. Days.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qei3z wrote

oh i’m so sorry, that is so shitty 😢 thankfully another user posted a source to save them on USB or your computer. uhg that breaks my heart for you 😞


jessiebeex t1_j5rz8th wrote

You can also save them to your phone as sound files and email them to yourself. I did this with ones from my grandpa.


SmarterTogether t1_j6bbulb wrote

I've heard you can actually email voicemails to yourself ...still I'd backup, but my might be a good secondary move.


aeolith t1_j5ptmfz wrote

After my mother died suddenly, months later I found an voicemail telling me she’d gone home, and “if you need me, I’ll be home.” I saved it everywhere I could. I can hear it in my head whenever I miss her. One day I’ll meet her at home.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5pu08r wrote

aw, thank you for sharing. a sudden death is so tragic in so many ways. my moms slow long death is hard, but at least i can be there for the slow decline.

❤️you’ll see her again, eventually ❤️


reasonandmadness t1_j5pthva wrote

Can confirm. I have recordings of my father who passed in August that I'll likely forever cherish.

Wound is still fresh on this one but I'm thankful to have messages from him saying hi before he went downhill.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5ptrjo wrote

thanking of your father, i hope it gets easier for you. my mom hasn’t even passed and i’m a M E S S.


reasonandmadness t1_j5q5o69 wrote

> my mom hasn’t even passed and i’m a M E S S.

I'm so sorry, I totally get it. I was as well. Losing a parent isn't easy. My girlfriend lost her father a few months before mine so we've both been grieving.

Only advice I can offer is to work towards remembering and celebrating the great times, forgive the bad, and to work towards personal closure as best as you can to anything which is lingering heavy in your heart. I wish I had done that more while he was still with us.

Difficult time. So sorry. :(


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q6i66 wrote

i will take this advice to heart. i really will, thank you. i’m sorry for y’all’s loss 💔


nemopost t1_j5pkvdk wrote

My heart goes out to you stranger. Ive been there with both parents. I still have a voice mail of my mom wishing me a happy birthday while she was sick. Nothing lasts forever but its been nice to hear her voice. I don’t play it that often because its not easy to listen without emotions welling up.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5pmp9q wrote

thank you so much. i just wrote this on my lunch break because i randomly decided to play them. i think i secretly wanted to get emotional, because i feel better now. i feel like i can listen to them more now without crying so much.

i’m glad to you feel the same feelings about your mom. not everyone is as lucky to have such a wonderful parent. thanks for sharing ❤️


SoleIbis t1_j5pngsy wrote

I feel this. I deleted a voicemail from my dad a long, long time ago. After he died I tried to literally even just call his number to hear his voicemail greeting- his asshole brother picked up the phone instead.

Don’t delete voicemails


WindowMoon OP t1_j5pnv0l wrote

yeah isn’t it crazy how quick it goes from feeling coddled and annoyed, to distraught and longing for them? aging is wild.


whatever32657 t1_j5s7rwk wrote

i still have voicemails from my husband. it’s been four years last week and i still don’t have the nerve to listen to them


SoleIbis t1_j5ti04t wrote

Airhug, I’m sorry man. Grief looks different for everyone, and that’s okay.


SupermanJLogo t1_j5pxstp wrote

LPT: Send all your loved ones to voicemail.


HumpieDouglas t1_j5qabur wrote

I have one voicemail from my wife saved and backed up. It's from a week before she died in 2013. I still cry when I listen to it. It makes me sad not having that voice in my life for the last 10 years.

It's just a routine voicemail too, nothing special. She asked me to pick up her meds from the pharmacy and that she'll meet me at her mom's house later that night.

I'd give almost anything just to talk to her and hear her voice again for just 5 minutes.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qao9v wrote

i can tell how much you loved her. that’s priceless and will stay forever in your heart. god i’m tearing up for you. may she rest in peace knowing how much she was eternally loved by you ❤️


SugarMumma t1_j5q2717 wrote

I lost my father in 2021 and for the longest time I believed I will forget what he used to sound like and one day my sister finds a clip of him trying his luck at recording a podcast and it felt unreal. It felt strange and deeply painful. Please make as many videos as you can, but most importantly please tell them that you love them.

I lost my father to a sudden death and I have still not recovered. Sending loads of love to you and your mom :)


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q3wfa wrote

thank you for this, it hit me how important ever moment i have left with her is.

thanks for the advice, and i’m glad you have that podcast still ❤️


motociclista t1_j5pw318 wrote

For years I held on to my dads last text to me. And his last voicemail. Then I had to switch phones once and everything backed up except texts and voicemails. All gone. Bums me out when I think about it. After he died, I found some old vhs tapes that I think contain home videos. I haven’t been able to watch them yet. Mom died 10 years before and I haven’t heard her voice since. I may be ready to see the videos one day, but not yet.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5pwfsb wrote

this is inspiring to record a video of my mom. saying happy birthday merry christmas, and maybe even a future video for her grandchildren if i ever decide to have kids. even if she’s out of it, i think ill still cherish the moments.

god, the small things become so important down the road. thank you for sharing


MissMischief13 t1_j5pzgul wrote

Could you please tell me how?
They can only be saved in my "inbox" for so many days before they just get deleted :( Is there an easier way than just like.. recording and hitting play on it?


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q21pv wrote

my phone automatically saves them indefinitely.

another user suggested reading this article on how to save them on your computer or on USB. has options for android and IOS users. good luck! i’ll be doing this as well when i’m home from work.


MissMischief13 t1_j5q33lc wrote

Thank you! I have a great grandmother with some severe alzheimer's and it's so nice when she's lucid, that I'd like to get some recordings of that version of her voice - like you said there's so much to be said for tone <3 Thank you.


Traveledbore t1_j5r3iva wrote

Man I wish I had thought to do an interview with my dad about his life before he passed. I’d cherish it so deeply. The real tip is in the comments, conduct an in in depth interview with your elderly / /dying loved ones about their lives


WindowMoon OP t1_j5r985u wrote

yeah i have so many regrets, like asking my mom about all her artwork, our family heirlooms, etc. this weekend i’m having a “spa” day with my mom where i being a face mask and nail polish. if she’s up to it i’m going to make a lil video of her, even if it’s nonsensical. as long as she’s smiling and not in pain. thank you for commenting ❤️


Traveledbore t1_j5rawws wrote

Thank you for an incredibly good life pro tip everybody ended please do this wish I could hear my dads voice one more time ps your mom sounds like she has a great life so far


Efficient_Stretch_92 t1_j5rvsgh wrote

My dad died 4 years ago. After he passed, I found several voicemails from him that I’d just forgotten to delete - corny jokes, birthday wishes, just because messages. Now I’m so grateful that I have them.


getmesomehopeplz t1_j5pzhn6 wrote

I am so sorry for what you are going through


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q1oib wrote

thank you ❤️ i always have wanted to move, but i decided staying here for my mom is important. she does not have a partner or any other kids. so i’m thankful we have each other. god i sound so cheesy, just highly emotional


getmesomehopeplz t1_j5q1y6d wrote

No you don't sound cheesy. It shows how much you love your mother


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q286w wrote

thank you for that. i’m not an emotional person normally, so i guess it feels foreign to be such a big ole baby 🥲


Relative_Ad4542 t1_j5q4fg6 wrote

Damn bro. Reading this made me so sad. You poor soul, i hope youre doing okay


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q55rw wrote

i am struggling, i found out my boyfriend had a titty picture of his ex on his phone sunday night as well. fuck man 😂

when it rains it pours. but expressing myself, and talking helps (hense this post!)


Relative_Ad4542 t1_j5q5hp5 wrote

Oh shit, thats disgusting. Proof? (Jk) but yeah that sucks. Hopefully by boyfriend you mean former boyfriend cus thats a yikes


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q6my2 wrote

uhggggggg it was old, but i find it weird he kept his exes nudes. i have selfies with my ex, but not naughty naughty ones 👀


Relative_Ad4542 t1_j5q7bee wrote

What was his excuse?


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q7yus wrote

uhg. he didn’t really have one. he admitted he was wrong and deleted it. i wasn’t even going though his phone, i asked to see a specific picture of me because it was funny. he did that thing where he will hold his phone up to my face, but wouldn’t let me hold his phone. which is weird. without trying i got him to admit to the pics.

makes me assume he isn’t over her, and broke my trust. he’s been here while i’m going through this with my mom though and my main support. very conflicted.


Relative_Ad4542 t1_j5q8pk1 wrote

Yeah thats a tough situation. I hope things work out for you cus that is extremely rough to go through for both of those things


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q8ucl wrote

thank you, i have been kinda distant and he knows he fuuuucked up. it was months ago, but for a guy saying he’s been cheated on and hurt from it…sure is kinda ironic.


Moerdac t1_j5q6ixt wrote

I still have a couple dead people on my fb messenger.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q6qp9 wrote

fuck. i’m sorry, the internet encapsulates peoples lives forever and it’s a weird feeling. but at least some memories remain.


I_Want_To_Know22 t1_j5q4fmf wrote

This is an excellent tip. I have a voicemail or two saved from my mom, who thankfully is still here and in general good health.

I wish I had one from a few different people, but alas, I do not.

Also, OP, I'm sorry for what you're going through right now. (Internet hugs)


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q4xbb wrote

thank you!!! just kinda screaming into the internet void, so it’s nice to have people understand and listen. now go hug ya mom! 🥰


emptybottleofdoom t1_j5q4mwb wrote

Better yet, record them external from a phone system. Make copies, online and local.

The phone company PROBABLY isn't going to lose them, but you can't get any more.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q5l8s wrote

here ya go!

or for anyone else who is concerned about losing said voicemails. that article has options for android and IOS


timelydogood t1_j5q9l7e wrote

I would have done this if I knew one day my mom wouldn't be able to talk for 3 years before she died. She had some funny ones too. But she was a letter writer so have lots of letters written to credit card companies and the news paper editor.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qah1y wrote

haha i love this, letters take heart and soul to write. damn those credit card companies!!! did she write in cursive, too? sorry for your loss.


Itstotallysafe t1_j5q9y6n wrote

This is excellent advice. My mom passed a few years ago and I have a saved voicemail of her singing me happy birthday from before she was sick. I listen to it every year and always plan to. I turn 48 in a few weeks.

I also have them saved from my sister, aunt, and a couple of close friends. They don't know, mainly because it's weirdly morbid, but also because it's just for me.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qab1h wrote

good, so what you need to. you’ll thank yourself in the future so much.


storm6436 t1_j5qbbac wrote

You'd think posts like this would hurt less when my wife has been a hospice nurse for the last decade, but it doesn't, not when losing my parents is one of the few things that truly worries me. I hope you make it through this with as little anguish and as few long-term problems as possible, OP. It certainly won't be easy.


Leather_Trash_7751 t1_j5qewp7 wrote

Both of my parents had Alzheimer's and would sometimes call to say nice things and sometimes call to say mean things (like when I had to take the car keys from dad). But I saved all of those messages.

I'm intrigued by the idea Alexa was able to show responding in a loved one's voice..a bit creepy since it's nothing we've experienced before as a human race, but I also wonder if it would be calming at the same time?


robgriff69 t1_j5qgvyd wrote

Cling on to what you have that comforts you. My aunty (mum's sister) had a basic caller display/ caller id unit that only stored about 10 last received calls. She routinely deleted received calls to ensure the last time my mum called her before she died would remain in that unit as a reminder


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qu660 wrote

aw, love is so powerful. thinking of your mom, sorry for your loss. 😞


mjmart4 t1_j5qhxs4 wrote

My mom used to call during an assuredly busy time, and leave long, winding voice-mails that gave me tons of anxiety. I was always frustrated that she wouldn't just text me. She died unexpectedly on January 5. I wish I saved one of those frustrating voicemails...


Sccmj23 t1_j5qs9r4 wrote

My Dad passed away around a year and a half ago. I listened to the last few voicemail messages he had left me right after my sister called to tell me he was gone.

I wanted to save those messages so that I could listen to them again, but I was too emotional to go into my voicemail and save them or archive/back them up and they eventually got deleted.

All that to say.... I 1000000000000000000 percent agree with this post. Even if it's painful or difficult, save those messages! You will miss being able to listen to them once they're gone.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qturu wrote

sorry for your loss, there’s a lot of similar stories like this. for some, hearing the voice is painful. there’s no didn’t way to grieve


Sccmj23 t1_j5quav3 wrote

That's true.

I'm just glad I listened to them at least once before they were lost. The last message was from just a few weeks prior to him passing away and he said he loved me at the end. I lost it as soon as I heard that because he had literally JUST passed away but I do wish I could listen to it again! 😭


meshtron t1_j5qtgie wrote

I saved my Dad's last voicemail for a long time after he died. I didn't listen to it often, it didn't say anything special, but seeing "Dad" in my list of messages was nice. I finally decided I was being ridiculous and deleted it. Have regretted it many times since.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qtmhc wrote

sorry for your loss, don’t beat yourself up tho. ❤️ it’s obvious you loved your dad tons


Meegok t1_j5qvfbz wrote

The thing we miss most about our loved ones is hearing their voice. Hugs, scent, eyes, all that is wonderful but the voice is the music our souls make while we’re here on Earth. Save those voicemails, save those videos!


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qxvd6 wrote

agreed, im def keeping pictures, something that smells like her as well. having her voice is just another way of keeping her alive in my heart.

thank you for your comment ❤️


lildorado t1_j5qvv4x wrote

This! Especially if they have a special name for you or something special they say, record them saying it. My Pop always called me “little sht” and he was “big sht” and it gets to me, more than it should, that I’ll never hear him say it again.


ChiSouthSider43 t1_j5qxr6a wrote

The morning my father died, he called me and left a long voicemail. I was a college student so was knocked out since it was relatively early in the morning. That afternoon I found out he died in a car accident. This was before fancy cell phones and the cloud, etc, so I lost the vm when I got a new phone down the line. It always makes me sad.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5r8okd wrote

i’m so sorry for your loss 💔💔💔 😞 the quick unexpected deaths really hit different. i can’t imagine at such a young age either


mukkalukka22 t1_j5qz54g wrote

I hadn’t heard my nanas voice in 5 years since she passed. My mom recently found a birthday voicemail from the year we lost her and she sent it to me. I cried so hard but it was amazing to hear it again after so long.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5r8rcm wrote

it really is a whole level of comfort that i can’t explain.


Engelgrafik t1_j5r2y1o wrote

I pretty much don't delete any emails or voicemails or messages from people I know. It's amazing the amount of stuff I can find from 10 or 15 years ago. It really doesn't take up that much space. I honestly don't know why people get so obsessed about deleting messages and stuff. One of the interesting things about listening to really old messages is that I notice I may get something different out of it now than I did 15 years ago. It's hard to explain, but whatever the person says might tell me something I didn't think of back then, but I think of now. It's super interesting.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5r90dk wrote

this is so true. perspectives change constantly, weather it’s for the better or worse. sounds like you focus on the better of things, and i love that for you.


[deleted] t1_j5r62nq wrote



WindowMoon OP t1_j5r9hgy wrote

don’t worry, it sounds like you valued that person a lot. you had no idea, it was by sheer chance. i’m sorry for your loss 😞


nightlyraider t1_j5rb7gk wrote

i have two from my dad that is gone that i can't handle listening to but i can't delete.

i figure one day i'll be courageous enough to play them.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5rbbwk wrote

take your time, there’s no proper way to grieve. some find comfort, and some feel pain when hearing their voice again. do what you need to


WildBuns1234 t1_j5rh2bk wrote

Same to you friend. The emotion you feel describes their significance.


faker2425 t1_j5rjupe wrote

My dad used to call all the time and I wouldn’t always answer. He would leave messages frequently, and I would save them to remind myself to call back and to call more often. They were honestly a source of some stress for me, but when he suddenly passed away last year out of nowhere I found that I now have recordings of him just talking, singing happy birthday, etc. I treasure them now, definitely save some voicemails from loved ones because you never know.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5rr6rs wrote

this is exactly how i was. “ohhh she can wait, i’ll call back” of the voice mails is her warning me about a possible thunder storm. today it stormed and stormed, i wish i had a motherly warning for it 😢


peripheralist t1_j5rkulz wrote

I recently pulled an old dictaphone out of a box and remembered I had a recording of my grandparents singing happy birthday to me on voicemail on my twenty fifth birthday. It took an afternoon to get it off the device. I had to boot up an old windows seven device and randomly download drivers off a YouTube video and scramble a USB mini cable. Brought tears of joy and love.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5rr9h7 wrote

aw that’s so special. uhg i’m glad you got to keep that slice of a memory ❤️


StaceOdyssey t1_j5rpf6q wrote

This is really touching. Honestly, it made me tear up a little bit because mine are alive and I don’t know if I will ever hear it from them because they don’t want to acknowledge that they had an oops kid from before their current spouse, but it warms my heart to hear that other parents would actually say this to their kids. ❤️


WindowMoon OP t1_j5rrjie wrote

i’m sorry to hear that. i’m actually adopted so i came from a mother who chose drugs. i know im also very lucky and privileged to have an experience like this with my adoptive mom. i purposely put “loved one” in the title because love is not always blood.

thanks for sharing though, all perspectives are valid and you sound like a big ole heckin sweet heart ❤️


StaceOdyssey t1_j5ugmer wrote

Thank you. That’s really sweet! I noticed that title detail as well. :)


MarioPfhorG t1_j5rpv4t wrote

This is also why I suggest people take a short video every Christmas or birthday. No matter how stupid the hair is, or bad the outfits are. You just never know when it’s going to be someone’s last.

I took a birthday video many years ago and someone who’s now passed was in the video. Turns out I was the only one who had ever taken any video of that person. Everyone else only had photos. It’s the only recording of their voice we have, even if the focus wasn’t on them.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5rrsdu wrote

especially with the ease of taking videos now, im def doing this with my future husband and children. ill even include any pets now. i’m really starting to understand how priceless memories are.


MarioPfhorG t1_j5rsejg wrote

Definitely hits harder when you start losing people in your life. I remember in 2019 saying “nah I’ll come to next year’s birthday party, I’m moving out and focussing on my job!” Unfortunately covid hit in 2020, and we had lockdown here for 2 years. By the time we came out of lockdown, they had passed away. That was the last birthday and I missed it. The feeling of emptiness and realisation of how short life is. Just take the video. Just be there. Just go. Do it. Ask that person out, go to that thing, ask for that promotion. It’ll all be gone before you know it.


Pattimash t1_j5rtyd8 wrote

This is exactly what I have done. My dad passed about a year ago. I can go back and listen to him sing happy birthday to me every single year. I’m so grateful for technology. Videos. Pictures. Voicemails. With these things, people we love can live on in our memories without fade.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5ru3w2 wrote

me too!! it’s easy to focus on the negative parts of technology, but they can provide us with sweet moments like that. RIP to your dad ❤️


ncc74656m t1_j5ru2fd wrote

Not a voicemail, but other memories come up in the same light for me.

I had a woman who was my best friend, a big sister to me, and sadly she died, over 10 years ago now. I miss her every day, and even though she could be a little direct and sometimes unemotional, one of the last messages I ever got from her was possibly the most incredible and supportive messages I could've ever asked for.

She passed away suddenly, and I treasured that text - for about a month or three. I had a T-Mobile Sidekick at the time, and those phones didn't locally cache anything beyond reboots. When the T-Mobile Sidekick servers went down when Microsoft bought Danger, they advised I try restarting knowing what was going on, and what effects it could have.

I lost that message, and all of our communications forever.

Do your best to make sure your data is securely backed up, and don't pass up opportunities to make more good memories with your people.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5ruhbn wrote

thank you for that advice. it sounds like that person really left a mark on your life in a beautiful way. i can feel it in what you wrote.

so many people have shared the same type of story about phones losing precious items, and thankfully there are ways to save voicemails on computers or USBs now.


Nosimus t1_j5ruyp2 wrote

Still have both of my parents. Passed before holidays. But have them saved. (The voicemail.)


Street_bob t1_j5rw8g9 wrote

Is there anyway I can get old voicemails back? Have had the same carrier for 15+ years


Necessary-Reading605 t1_j5s4bm1 wrote

When my father died i found his picture on google maps. I bought a vr headset just to see him anytime I wanted. He is there to this day, in the bar’s outside table, seeing the cars go by, as he loved to do. Google blurred his face, but I can see his smile under it. After that my headset lens get wet, all of sudden.

I guess is the moisture from the weather or something.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5s5mt0 wrote

wow this is really sweet. technology is craaazy. you still have a piece of your dad in your own way!


navywill88 t1_j5s6431 wrote

Also to add to this, if you are considering switching carriers, back up your voicemails first. Coming from an always iPhone user, my wife lost some of her grandma when we migrated carriers. Luckily I was able to extract them from a local backup.


gordonronco t1_j5smbkd wrote

I have four VMs saved on my account, three of which are from my dad who passed in 2016. They're about absolutely nothing, and it's not quite how I remember his voice from the first 30 years of my life, but goddamn do I value having them to hear him again.


LazarusKing t1_j5spk9b wrote

Im hoping I can find some of the vha home movies my mom had of our old birthdays. I want my nephew to see and hear his grandma. She died 4 years before he was born. She'd have lost her goddamn mind over that kid. I miss her.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5tee3l wrote

aw this is a thought i have a lot too. my mom not seeing my graduate, marry, possibly have children.

sounds like you and your nephew have a special connection ❤️ may your mom rest in peace


Utterlybored t1_j5svfzx wrote

I still have the VM from twelve years ago of my daughter telling me she’d gotten into medical school.


[deleted] t1_j5t88o8 wrote



WindowMoon OP t1_j5umiep wrote

yes i emailed them to myself as audio files!!! so at least there’s two copies or everything. going to download on my computer and a USB soon. thanks for the recommendation, fren


GoGoGuyverUnit t1_j5tdqwt wrote

I'll agree to this. My wife of 15 years didn't recover from anesthesia from an outpatient procedure. I went into my voice mail soon after she passed and the only message I had still from her was a 3 second hangup from her trying to call at some point in time. I have nothing personal to me with her voice. It was a sucky realization.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5um98t wrote

uhg how tragic. “oh it’s such a small procedure, everything will be fine” and then life hits ya straight in the heart. i’m sorry about your wife, the fact you talk about her 15 years later speaks volumes about y’all’s marriage ❤️ 😭


terrytw t1_j5tefyg wrote

I'd suggest shot more pics and video with them while you can. They are far better than voicemails. Don't think that taking pictures or videos are stupid or whatnot, they are great tools to remind you of the experience you had.


BeetzByGeetz t1_j5tew9a wrote

I’m sitting in hospice as I write this comment watching my dad fade away. Wish I would have saved some of his voicemails. Sorry your going through this too.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5tnwnr wrote

thank you, it’s a hard experience nobody can prepare for. thinking of you and your family in this hard time 😞


manwhorunlikebear t1_j5thxup wrote

I found an old voice message that I wasn't aware of from my mother a few months after she died and I was just so happy to hear her voice once again. I can not describe how much that meant to me.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5umcrd wrote

i bet. did you break down and cry or was it more a happy comforting moment?


manwhorunlikebear t1_j5urpxc wrote

I was very pleasantly surprised, yeah I would say more a happy comforting sound.


oohlalaahweewee t1_j5tr69q wrote

This is something I desperately wish I had done before my mom passed 7 years ago.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5ujfyl wrote

i’m sorry for your loss, and hopefully this post can help some others out. just don’t beat yourself up over it ok?


oohlalaahweewee t1_j5vahqe wrote

Really appreciate that! It’s genuinely one of my biggest regrets, so I always hope that in life she knew how much I loved and valued her. Thank you!


WindowMoon OP t1_j5vr6u4 wrote

oh she does! or you wouldn’t be talking about her right now. she’s on your mind an in your heart forever 😊


keepthetips t1_j5pka6l wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.


ObfuscatedAnswers t1_j5q3mzl wrote

You shouldn't delete anyone else's voicemails, it's rude.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q3zpo wrote

wat? lol i don’t understand what you’re getting at


ObfuscatedAnswers t1_j5q5d00 wrote

Your title could be read as a suggestion not to delete the voicemail in mailboxes belonging to people you love.

I.e. their voicemails, not voicemails they have left you (as those would technically be your voicemails, from them).

Also, see nick. ;)


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q61er wrote

ohhhhkay? i think? you’re trying to be clever? idk read the room ya cabbage 🥬


ObfuscatedAnswers t1_j5q9qkk wrote

Seriousness and jest are not mutually exclusive. In sadness laughs are sometimes needed to light the gloomiest corners and dispell the shadows.

Never been likened to a vegetable before but... thanks, I guess?


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qb84z wrote

you’re the type of person who constantly plays devils advocate aren’t you? kindly, get some self awareness my dude.


JeffSantos07 t1_j5q58lf wrote

TIL people still use voicemail.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q5tql wrote

really only my mom does. and i’m really glad for it. text messages are nice to read, but hearing her voice made me tear up instantly. especially the funny ones.


JeffSantos07 t1_j5q7iqo wrote

Yeah but nowadays you got so many apps with voice messages. My grandma is turned 70 last year and she only talks through whatsapp now. Got tons and tons of voice messages from her I can save directly :)

Not saying everyone should use it, I just found it interesting that people still use voicemail. Seems so much more difficult to send and receive.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5q84xz wrote

that’s fine. you have your memories and i have mine.


SpaceFace11 t1_j5qdk5s wrote

In my personal experience it just made it harder for me to grieve properly but whatever works for you


WindowMoon OP t1_j5qely7 wrote

yeah as we all know, grieving is different for everyone. no wrong way to grieve. 💯


WildBuns1234 t1_j5r0mrr wrote

I still have the voicemail of my mom calling me in a panic that my dad wasn’t breathing. He passed away that night.

I’m a glutton for punishment.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5r8tz9 wrote

well i hope you have other memories of your dad left. i’m sorry for your loss


MinnieShoof t1_j5rkp4u wrote

This is very novel advice… but also understand that part of the grieving process is knowing to let go.

I had my mother’s voicemails saved to an old iPhone but eventually got a new one and we turned in my wife’s old device but I kept mine because of the voicemails. A little down the road I had an employee fall on some hard time and she didn’t have a phone (but had a sim) to keep in touch so I offered her my old one. I cleared everything off except those specific voicemails and I told her as such. I eventually left the company suddenly and when I finally ran in to her the topic got around to the phone. She said about a week after I left it got damaged and she was unable to recover it or contact me, so…

I realized I hadn’t listened to them in years. I kept them as more of a charm. Part of me never expected to get that phone back, and I was a little sad at first but we ended our conversation and I felt a little relieved.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5rr01a wrote

eh there’s no way right to grieve. telling someone they need to let go isn’t what’s best for every single person. i can hold on to what’s important to me for as long as i’d like. sorry for your loss.


MinnieShoof t1_j5rs94z wrote

We all grieve in different ways at different times but there are fundamental archetypes that play out pretty regularly. Acceptance is usually the final one. People don’t often get there while retaining active triggers. You’re right tho - it’s not for everyone. But it’s a thought.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5rshl2 wrote

i can accept death while having a voice mail of my mom singing happy birthday downloaded on my computer. don’t you dare tell me i can’t.

sorry but you’re trying to dictate how i deal with my feelings without any context and it’s gross. let me do what i want, and you can have your opinion but don’t double down when i tell you no. 👋


[deleted] t1_j5qkxnw wrote



WindowMoon OP t1_j5qu187 wrote

well i specified loved ones. this can be a friend, a father, an aunt, a partner. love is larger than that.


KitchenLoavers t1_j5qvfmf wrote

My voicemails are deleted in 3 days if I listen to them once, even if I press save... If I save them on another day after re-listening, the delete date gets extended for, you guessed it, 3 days. So I've given up on saving voicemails for the most part. Using a separate device to record the phone speaker if I really have to.


kookie_krum_yum t1_j5s3hdw wrote

My VM will always be full & IDC if that inconveniences someone.

When the snarky comments come (well, your VM is STILL fullllll so I couldn't), I say, dead mom. Sorry that's frustrating for YOU.

That usually shuts them up.


18114 t1_j5s4y92 wrote

Anyone make an UTUBE video of Mom???


HappyHighwayman t1_j5ua5cj wrote

Hate voicemails. I never listen to them. Who leaves voicemails ?


WindowMoon OP t1_j5ujk0x wrote

the older generation. my mom, who i loved dearly. the wonderful women who raised me and gave me the perspective i have on life.


HappyHighwayman t1_j5ujoo2 wrote

My dad is 74 and knows not to leave voicemails to me. He even sms before calling.


WindowMoon OP t1_j5ujv4d wrote

that’s fine. i’m glad your dad is alive. i’m sure you will miss his voice one day. glad i will always have my moms voice ❤️