Submitted by [deleted] t3_10nhosn in LifeProTips
[deleted]
Comments
McSquiddy t1_j69w2xk wrote
This is the right take. Talking with people because you want something is super obvious. You should want to talk to people who are interesting or fun to be around just for the sake of being with them. After a while of doing that you'll become friends and then you'll want to help them and they will want to help you.
The goal should be to make friends with people that you like spending time with. Any benefits that come from that are all bonuses.
rake_leaves t1_j6a2fjs wrote
Remember going to a seminar during MBA program. Presenter spoke about networking, and there was a networking event. Her advices sounded exactly like. Let me find out if this person can help me. If not move on. Screw that crap. If I talk with someone I want to learn and talk. Not see what they can help me with, and if not move on.
BlueTeale t1_j6a78yk wrote
Ya unfortunately that attitude was prevalent in the circles I was in. Nobody really connected because we were all pretending to be interested but couldn't care less.
I'm a very different person now than I was, and for the most part it's been positive changes.
GalFisk t1_j6cl0lg wrote
Wow, that explains everything that's wrong with MBAs, pretty much. If you don't connect to people you can't lead them, you can only boss them around.
jonbrown2 t1_j68vzbj wrote
Ask people questions about themselves. Most people enjoy talking about themselves.
Gridguy2020 t1_j6976ia wrote
This. How are you, where you from, any feelings about INSERT SPORTS EVENT HERE. If you treat conversations like you are the talk show host and they are your guest, most people will talk. Always read the mood though, some people just hate small talk.
TheRealRabidBunny t1_j6cqdgv wrote
I see you’ve met Scandinavians before then…
[deleted] OP t1_j6d1esc wrote
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Cup_Realistic t1_j69z8fo wrote
Personally, I don't have an agenda when I speak to new people. I think folks can sense that. When they talk I listen. When I reply, I acknowledge the last thing they said so they know they're being listened to. I address them by their names every so often during the conversation. People love hearing thier own names. I believe that things like this makes for a great first chat.
ForceOfAHorse t1_j69dpax wrote
"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"
cernidawg t1_j6afduf wrote
The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in
PrincessStinkbutt t1_j6aei24 wrote
As an older person, let me reassure you: younger people can be fascinating and have very different/interesting/fresh perspectives.
Try to enter conversations knowing you are worthy of anyone's respect and attention. Don't be a conceited jerk who thinks they know better than everyone else, but don't discount yourself, either.
ketofern t1_j694296 wrote
Find something in the environment to talk about. For ex: I was at the dentist waiting room and Queen came on the radio. I asked this old lady next to me if she enjoyed a bit of Queen, she says she does like THE Queen (we’re in the UK), hilarity ensues and we chat for a full on 20 min until I get called in. :)
JuiceByYou t1_j69eau5 wrote
Can you find small businesses or non-profits and try to do some pro-bono or cheap work to build up experience for your resume, as well as connections?
Goyabaman t1_j69epxv wrote
The best time to break the ice is immediately
virusofthemind t1_j6crooq wrote
Ask them for advice on something. Everyone likes giving it and the fact you asked the person presupposes to them that you hold them in high regard.
Once you have the advice act on it. If it goes well tell the person and say thanks. If you're lucky you could end up with a mentor who will look after your interests if they're in a higher position than you.
keepthetips t1_j68puwe wrote
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[deleted] OP t1_j68snjp wrote
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speculatrix t1_j6axprs wrote
Just complain about the weather or the traffic this morning, or not being able to find a good parking space. These are common gripes, and will resonate with many people. Then let the conversation drift to other topics.
Or sports. Find out something about the local popular sports ball team.
Silt99 t1_j6cw96c wrote
Literally none of that would resonate with me, jsyk
speculatrix t1_j6cwjc5 wrote
Maybe you enjoy sports ball? Fans often need only a hint to get talking about their favourite team.
speculatrix t1_j6cwkl1 wrote
I'll amend my answer.
whalter_wite t1_j6dynq5 wrote
“Will you marry me?” is a very effective ice breaker.
Helpful-nothelpful t1_j6977ze wrote
Ask What's the worst part of the cupcake?
Is a hot dog a taco?
UnderstandingSquare7 t1_j6b54oa wrote
In the scenario you described, I'd turn to somebody interesting looking who was standing there like me (not engaged with others), and say, "Hi..so whaddya think?"..they say, "about what?", I say, "this party/gala/event"...they say....and now you're talking.
BlueTeale t1_j68zcyg wrote
Not that my thoughts carry any weight but...
I'll be honest I really struggled with this in my early to mid 20s. Ended up working with a lot of Owners/Executive types, all much higher caliber and experience level than me. I think my biggest mistake was thinking that I need contacts and therefore I went into each conversation with an objective. To befriend the other enough to be able to use them in the future.
This was the wrong approach, I never connected very well. And it's because I was trying to use people (even the ones I liked, it was becoming second nature).