Above all else, you need to allow yourself time to grieve. I get that your family looks to you for things, but it is absolutely imperative that you have time to process your emotions. There is unfortunately no shortcut for this, and no time table that can be given either. It will take you as long as it takes you, and that's okay.

Do what you can to give yourself that time. Don't neglect others, but don't neglect yourself either. Allow yourself to grieve, to feel the loss, to cry. That's the only thing that will help.

I'm so sorry for your loss.