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PhoneCautious4592 t1_j5p27yw wrote

You: Nice boots

Her: Oh thank you

You: Oops meant boobs

Her: Ughr creep

7

NinjaCuntPunt t1_j5p47hb wrote

I mean tits, uh, baps.. melons. No! Mammory glands.. iced gems? Your fried eggs.. bacon hangers? milk monsters? Ol’ pinky and perky! The snuggle pups! The twins..? Argh - Your succulent cat flaps!? Ok.. Ant and Dec?! .. ya know, your spaniels ears! Mosquito Bites?! Your noogies..? .. Ya baps, ya buds, ya bips, ya tig ol’ bitties!! I mean to say - your slammers! Your mahoosive funbags. Your voluptuous tatty bo jangles. Your fleshy mounds, Mario and Luigi, cans, orbs or globes.

Safe to say, whatever we call them, I never even noticed your feet.

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bitemytail t1_j5p16lx wrote

Speaking from experience?

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Jocopey t1_j5p9nci wrote

If you're Midwestern,

"You betcha."

"Did you just call me a bitch?"

3

avidoger t1_j5p2u5t wrote

I like your schutz

2

keepthetips t1_j5p0ldm wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.

If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

1

avidoger t1_j5p2v9a wrote

I like your schutz

1

moogly2 t1_j5pjwr7 wrote

Also speak clearly when you invite her to Tapas bar

1

Voodoops_13 t1_j5pzuhw wrote

Or if she has a manicure and you're complimenting on the color of her nail tips.

1