I mean tits, uh, baps.. melons. No! Mammory glands.. iced gems? Your fried eggs.. bacon hangers? milk monsters? Ol’ pinky and perky! The snuggle pups! The twins..? Argh - Your succulent cat flaps!? Ok.. Ant and Dec?! .. ya know, your spaniels ears! Mosquito Bites?! Your noogies..? .. Ya baps, ya buds, ya bips, ya tig ol’ bitties!! I mean to say - your slammers! Your mahoosive funbags. Your voluptuous tatty bo jangles. Your fleshy mounds, Mario and Luigi, cans, orbs or globes.

Safe to say, whatever we call them, I never even noticed your feet.