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louiseifyouplease t1_j6i2a49 wrote

A great way to get comfortable conversing with others is to ask good questions. After introductions, start with the usual such as where they grew up or what they do with their free time. Listen and take cues for follow up questions. That will let you know their own level of comfort level of sharing, and they will be more interested in the conversation because people do like to talk about themselves. Also, keep it positive. We each have enough negative BS thrown at us each day, and an upbeat conversation where we are listened to is a welcome event.

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purplepinksky t1_j6ijom3 wrote

Agreed. The key is to ask questions that reveal what the other person enjoys talking about, and then focus the conversation on that. Some people love talking about their work, some about their favorite tv shows, some about their vacations, some about their kids. One way to start is by asking for recommendations (“You see any good movies lately?”). Ideally, you find a topic that genuinely interests you as well. If you’re lucky, they’ll turn it around and start asking you questions as well.

Just be interested, not intrusive. They will like you more if it doesn’t feel like an interrogation, but rather an opportunity to share their thoughts with someone who actually sees them.

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