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glassdoorknob75 t1_j6j4cjt wrote

Reply to comment by Flaky-Wallaby5382 in LPT request: How to be a good conversationalist without oversharing personal things? by It_hurtsss

Is the idea at these all being something they do to organize/manage/make better their life, focusing on these being about things they do and decisions they make? I kinda see this as both a readily flattering (also ordinary so that's safe) field of topic and somewhat dangerous to approach.

Edit: missed words

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Flaky-Wallaby5382 t1_j6j5c3i wrote

More simple… its easy to relate to and people like to talk about themselves.

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glassdoorknob75 t1_j6j863s wrote

Thanks for explaining! I've always felt anxious talking/having others talk about these, seeing them as either very long stories or very short ones and very specific to the person themself. I'm gonna try to listen in on some conversations keeping the idea in mind :D

(By either very long or very short I imagine things'd be like: "at work everything just.... happens the way it must" "my mother tries to find herself a second husband and i'm worried because she really isn't the people type, she's got empty ideas about how living with people should work. but then so have i so anyways not in a place to judge but still worried......")

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Flaky-Wallaby5382 t1_j6jbcia wrote

Thats why you go down the FORD progression. Eg Did you grow up around here? Are your kids nearby? They give a short answer move onto occupation. What do you do for work? Is that your passion? Get no engagement move onto recreation. What do you like to do for fun? Etc….

If its very one sided either you haven’t clicked on aomething they want to talk about or they dont want to talk to you. Knowing when to stop is just as imporntant. Exhaust the whole FORD then say it was great meeting you and immediately move on

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glassdoorknob75 t1_j6jebpu wrote

Used as a system to find out what the person is ok talking about! Ach, thank you so much I finally understand this.... I've mistakenly thought of it as a flatly structured(?) pool of green-light questions but this is organized quite differently! Must be easy on the other person's nerves too because at this level the asker wouldn't look nervous for them to feel like they must answer..

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