Submitted by 70Ytterbium t3_11cqfo9 in LifeProTips
If you notice that you have to repeat yourself often when talking to a certain person, it helps to start the sentence slowly, with something generic, like 'do you..', 'is it that..', 'how come..' or something along those lines that catches the attention of your interlocutor.
It helps to start slowly as they’re often lip reading (like my Mom did). This way you can see if they’re actually able to hear you. Lip reading is usually not as fast and in her case with her eyes not so great, communicating was a challenge. Yeah, she refused hearing aids for a long time.
I didn't consider that. Thank you for the info.
Or when initiating a conversation with someone you know doesn’t hear well, say their name first to make sure they know you’re talking to them.
Works too.
Something similar but for business meetings, especially if virtual and especially if with clients.
If you're doing the talking and you are about to ask a question to a specific attendee, use their name in a short phrase introductory to the question. If for any reason they were not paying full attention, this will prevent you from putting them on the spot and causing a bad impression.
Yes I know that if they are not paying attention it's their fault, but you don't want to -even tacitly- call them out on it. You want them to feel comfortable and leave the meeting with a good feeling.
Good one.
That is definitely a great tip! It can be difficult to know how to communicate effectively with those who have difficulty hearing, but this is a useful strategy. It's also important to remember to speak clearly and to use gestures if necessary.
I grew up with someone who was hard of hearing. My father lost 80% of hearing in one ear and about 20% of hearing in his other ear when he was in his 40s. I also have a friend who started losing her hearing when she was in her mid-30s due to a lifetime of loud rock music. My advice would be to call someone who’s hard of hearing by their name or get their attention with your hand before starting your sentence if they haven’t been looking at you. Also if you are one of those who tend to mumble or speak very fast, you will need to slow down a bit and enunciate your words to help them out. Don’t go “I’m speaking to a moron” speed, just slow down to what is considered an average pace. Practicing patience will also make everything go better. As annoying as it might be to adjust your speech pattern around them I can guarantee you it’s so much more frustrating for the person who can’t hear very well.
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And, as a deaf person I can say that if you use my name at the beginning of the sentence, I am tuned in already 75% more than if you don't.
THANK YOU! I can hear fine one-on-one, but if there is ambient noise like music or dishwasher, it's much harder to catch. Many times a day, family members start talking to me when I can't hear them and then get irritated when I ask them to repeat. I have asked if they would just say my name first and wait for me to tune in, but nobody has ever done this. These days I often just let it go and don't respond unless they request a response from me but it's not the best way to carry on family life. They feel ignored and I feel isolated.
Also, instead of raising your voice and shouting, try speaking in a lower octave or tone. Hearing loss usually starts with the higher frequencies. The lower frequencies last longer.
I'm a seasoned citizen, and I can tell you that it's very difficult to track with a conversation if the other person is a fast talker. I couldn't hold a convo with Ben Shapiro if my life depended on it! I've been known to interject, "Hold on a damned minute, I can't listen as fast as you're talking!" Slow down, enunciate carefully, maybe even kick up the volume slightly. At the start of a convo it's like my brain needs a couple seconds to get itself properly focused, so I'm playing catch up from the jump! My wife has a behavior that messes me up- at the end of whatever she is saying, her volume drops intil it becomes unintelligible, and I have to ask her to repeat, which becomes frustrating for her. I also have tinitus in a major way, and that doesn't help either.
Yes, please call my name or start talking slowly. And stand where I can see you talking so I can read your lips. Thank you!
Starting conversations with an attention-grabbing phrase may help to improve the effectiveness of your discussions with others and reduce the need to repeat yourself. Strive to speak clearly and make eye contact with the other person while you are talking to further improve your communication.
> couldn’t hold a convo with Ben Shapiro if my life depended on it
As is the case with any sane person
> “Hold on a damned minute, I can’t listen as fast as you’re talking!”
Since this is a thread about good communication, I recommend calmly and kindly asking the person to talk slower.
My father was born with 20% hearing in one ear and 80% in the other. Now he’s completely deaf in on ear and has hardly any hearing in the other. He comes from the time when hearing aids were big and refuses to get them now. So he lip reads. My husband talks very quietly and doesn’t enunciate his words so when he met my dad I had to explain that he had to look at my dad directly, make sure he was looking at you and then talk to him. It’s definitely an adjustment.
Slowing down is great but since the high frequency hearing is usually first to go, a friend wanted a ride to High st I drove him to I st. Check out the speech banana and you will learn to replace difficult words with easier words again this is for high frequency hearing loss. "F" "TH" and "S" are very difficult to hear and are on the right of the speech banana, sounds on the left side of the speech banana are easier to hear. For a long time I thought people needed to speak louder, well some people do, speaking slowly and allowing me to see their lips, because my brain is working overtime trying to understand. When I can't I get frustrated and will eventually say oh yes without understanding a thing. Certain people with accents on the phone I can't make out a single word they say. Here are examples of difficult words vs words that are easier to hear
This vs That
Taste vs Flavor
First vs One
Past vs Before
Thirsty vs Drink
Nice vs Good
House vs Home
She vs Her
Such vs Very
Almost vs Nearly
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if you live with them is ok to lose your shit about the constant "hold on I don't have my hearing aid in" - "I noticed the fucking tv blaring through the whole house"
or " I don't have a hearing issue you're mumbling"...
It can help to begin with something to focus on the subject. My mother has less trouble if she knows the general topic. Introduce less common words upfront.
I second this.
As someone who’s been hard of hearing since I was about 4, I can say (just for me personally now at 31) that I get a lot of people who feel the need to shout if I happen to forget my hearing aids. Not necessary. Speaking in a lower octave, slower than one would normally but only because it also helps to enunciate each word clearly (for lip reading), to get my attention all my friends have learned to do is raise their hand up like to wave or tap the table (I feel it better than I hear it) or tap my shoulder, and it helps when someone faces me when they are speaking (lip reading and what little sound I can hear isn’t further distorted), and if possible it helps beyond anything else if I can speak with someone without a lot of background noise. That may be unique to me, but I know even if someone is standing right in front of me talking clearly, if there is a ton of background noise? I can’t hear a word. And of course it helps if whoever I have to interact with knows how to sign, but I do still keep a notepad and pen handy for those situations where they are necessary.
It also helps to enunciate more clearly. The loss of higher frequencies affects certain speech sounds more than others, which can be partly overcome by enunciating more clearly than usual. This problem is exacerbated when wearing a mask which also attenuates higher frequencies more.
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