Yup.
Due to trauma, I compartmentalize so well that I make Marie Kondo look like a slob. Each box is filled with fifteen similar boxes, and all of these are tucked away neatly on a shelf that is behind a vault that only ever opens to let something in.
I can convincingly fake any emotion and go through the motions of being "normal". Like, my manager once told me I seemed happier lately during one of my worst recent episodes. She's incredibly empathetic and good at reading people; I was compensating for my shit mental health with extra external pep and pizazz.
It's overrated.
I'm in therapy and it actively concerns my therapist how hard it is for me to convey genuine emotion. Any true emotion I feel is like an assault on the senses, and I can't control it. I literally have to take an entire day to take care of myself if the vault opens up and real emotion spills out.
I hate it.
I wish I could emote like a normal person.
I think true strength comes from owning how you're feeling.