LPT Request: How to lose emotions from your face permanently?

Submitted by todiecena t3_11bd3cr in LifeProTips

I'm sick of being a sensitive person. I cry easily, never faked emotions, tried to spend happiness as much as I can. I find it really hard to hide emotions. I'm sick of being made fun of because of being sensitive. Please help me out here if anyone has few ideas.

Edit: I was not expecting so many positive responses. Thank you everyone for that. That being said, for some of those who messaged me, If you would like to be expressive of your emotions I would start by appreciating little things in life. Like sunrise/set, the medicine you bought for yourself when you were sick, your room that only has a mattress and a mini fridge. It could be anything. The idea is self love. Most people refuse to live because they they don't see life valueable anymore and the fact that you woke up today and are willing to fight one day more is hopeful. Don't follow the standards society has created because noone is perfect. Poor want poverty to go away and rich want more money. Earn whatever you can but remember no matter how poor or rich you are by money never ever be poor of kindness and humanity. Never expect anything in return for something good you do/did/have done. Take it as a way to feel better about yourself. Like " I did that, I am at least better than some assholes in this world. Hope this helps

Think of world is like a hospital. There are fewer doctors than patients and everyone is sick/injured/ even dead on the inside. If a small appreciation makes them happy... Why not? The smile they'll carry is worth it. Recently I've realised that if you express yourself too much, people assume you're weak and over the time, casual conversation you're trying to make is mistaken for complain or rant. Not everyone appreciates a positive attitude so sometimes it is better to wear a mask in this hospital. You don't want to get mistaken weak or esle people will take advantage of you.

Not sure all of this coming from a guy in 20's sounds right, I have not experienced life like some of the you guys but from what I've been through I'd say never lose your inner peace because nothing is worth losing your inner peace. When I say inner peace I mean you loving yourself and the life you have. If you have a bad day remember, at least you have your partner/kids/pet/parents with unconditional love. Even if you don't have anyone look in the mirror and giving yourself a self appreciation with something like 'look at this handsome hunk, you made it through the day, I'm proud of you' or something like that. You will feel a bit happier then yesterday, and this improves with time.

This is how I do it. I hope this helps. Apologies for bad English and thank you so much for all the love in the comments. I thought rather than replying to a text it might help some other people too. I hope you see this text guy

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Zookeeper-007 t1_j9xa0y4 wrote

Surround yourself with better people. There’s nothing wrong with you

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Buddhist_Path t1_j9xarem wrote

This. You're emotional because you love life and are connected with what's around you. I wish more people were like you.

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makegoodchoicesok t1_j9za0wx wrote

Exactly. Like dude, it took me three years of intensive therapy to stop emotionally blunting and teach myself to cry again. The catharsis of being able to let it all out when things get rough is an invaluable coping mechanism. Feeling emotions is a goddamn gift.

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pseudocultist t1_ja09wgn wrote

I started crying in front of my therapist, and then stopped myself and went cold faced, and she noticed and I was mortified. And she’s like “that’s super common among men, I’m not going to call you names like your dad might have, it’s ok to cry here.” Uhh shit. I am found out.

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makegoodchoicesok t1_ja0gf45 wrote

Haha believe it or not I was socialized the same, despite being a woman. My mom believed crying was a manipulation tactic girls use, so she'd start raging if you did it in front of her. Probably not a super common experience among women, but it really makes me feel for guys like yourself. Glad you've been able to find your tears! They're so important.

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animellama1337 t1_j9zr53h wrote

You can actually feel? I usually just leak around the edges. Good for you.

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BysshePls t1_j9zy15s wrote

I'm so sorry you're like me, but this hit me so good in the funny bone 😂 I just leak around the edges until the pressure explodes.

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enginerd12 t1_j9z8pmw wrote

Yeah, OP's concern screams out that he/she is surrounding him/herself with shitty people.

​

Edit: Oh, and read The Four Agreements. It's a short book and an easy read even if you're not into reading.

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rookierook00000 t1_ja11a15 wrote

So much this. A good part of what affects you both mentally and emotionally is the people you surround yourself with. This includes family members. I know because I have experienced living in hard times and had to live with my sister, who along with her husband, only made me feel more of a pariah in their home the longer I stay there, and it REALLY messed my head. Compared to when I lived with my brother, I had a sense of peace and able to express myself more freely.

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aim_so_far t1_j9z2l5l wrote

Worst advice in this thread. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, but nobody wants to deal with someone crying during a time of crisis. Managing ur emotions is an important trait to have in the adult world.

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GaiaBeauty t1_j9zipfn wrote

No one wants to deal with someone crying during a time of crisis????? Really, person?? Speak for yourself.

i am one of those, if privileged enough to be in someone’s space as they cry, i will just hold them and listen.

in my rare times of crying i would hope that someone comes and hold my hand as i express myself. and they have. they don’t need to say anything. just be there. and there, they are.

There is something to be said to feel safe enough to express emotions, with someone.

If YOU can’t handle someone’s crying, just say that.

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Absolei t1_j9zv9xf wrote

I don't think that's the situations OP is in. Honestly, it just sounds like they're a sensitive person who really feels things deeply and in consequence, they show their emotions more often than others. This is very much not bad! It just means that they've got higher empathy and stuff. These other people are the ones in the wrong and you're acting like them.

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MaleficentTop6074 t1_j9xenac wrote

Try emotional labelling.. It's a really simple technique that can be super helpful in managing your emotions. Basically, you just label your emotions in a clear and concise way. So, if you're feeling sad, you might say to yourself 'I'm feeling sad right now.' It might sound too simple to be effective, but research has shown that it can actually help reduce the intensity of your emotions and promote emotional regulation. And if you use specific language to label your emotions, like 'I'm feeling disappointed because I didn't get the job I wanted,' it can help you understand the root cause of your emotions and address them more effectively. It won't completely stop you from feeling emotions, but it can help you manage them better. Give it a try and see if it works for you! Also, try positive affirmations. repeating affirmations like "I am strong" or "I am capable," you can build a more positive self-image and reduce the impact of negative emotions.

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realityGrtrThanUs t1_j9xyjgo wrote

Best answer here. Labeling promotes mindfulness. Thinking about how you feel will also slow down your reflexive response. Keep thinking about how you feel and why you feel that way. You are a rational being. Get to know yourself!

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kati9617 t1_j9zs5d4 wrote

That is the best advice I believe I have ever heard! Oh wow thank you! I have spent so many years putting my self down. Now I'm desperately trying to get better, I don't know what to say to myself. This actually makes sense! I can say, you're ok, or you're fine doing that, or whatever, but this is a way to say, look I screwed up. It's ok because I'm sad, or mad, or scared or whatever and learn to forgive myself! This is so cool! I love it, thank you so so much!

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timmyboyoyo t1_j9y8rxy wrote

Do you say it out loud or in your head only?

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GreyJeanix t1_ja1v0ff wrote

I think either is fine, you can also write it - there are templated journals to help work through emotions like this

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scaleofthought t1_j9z9b5k wrote

Out loud. And after saying it take a moment to acknowledge what you just said.

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Vortamock t1_j9xhk0b wrote

Based on everything I know about psychology, which admittedly isn't much, this should be work and will be most effective if practiced daily for at least 66 consecutive days when you begin.

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timmyboyoyo t1_j9y8wjl wrote

Why 66

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Vortamock t1_j9yrmuj wrote

That's the average amount of days they say it takes to break a habit or form a new one. This indicates to me that this is how long it takes to convince your subconscious of something. I had a class in college where the entire premise was that if you convince yourself of something, your subconscious will strive to make it happen. I've heard a similar concept from other places as well.

I'm not a psychologist, but this indicates to me that if you were to form a new habit by doing this for 66 days, you will convince your subconscious of it, which will in turn cause it to manifest into reality ie: you can train yourself to be more positive

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extrabutterycopporn t1_j9x9kee wrote

I wanted this, I got it, I don't like it. The happiest face I can make is "content" laughs feel forced even when sincere.

Enjoy your emotions. They make you more human. If people make fun of them, fuck'em they can suck the pimples off your ass.

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JAYFLO t1_j9xlx7q wrote

Yup, repressing those emotions won't make them go away, just make it harder for you to get them out - and they always come out eventually. Expressing them is the healthiest way to do it.

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frzn_dad t1_j9z9lnn wrote

You can have emotions without displaying them to everyone. You can be sad without crying, angry without screaming, etc.

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Calm-asutra t1_j9xa52q wrote

First of all, it's completely okay to be a sensitive person. It's your personality and you like expressing or letting it out verbally or emotionally. Fuck the ones who make fun of you because they can't be half the person you are. I really wouldn't want you to not cry just because someone else makes you feel that way. Trust me they ain't worth it.

That being said, if you still want to make yourself not cry,

  1. I used to watch this anime that made me cry a lot over and over again until i stopped crying. Usually it helps me but I can't say the same to others. (I lost emotions due to my occupation but that doesn't mean i don't cry .. i do too and it's really ok to)

  2. Practice in the mirror. You need to learn to make a poker face. Slowly and steadily it will come up

  3. Identify the things that make you cry. Make a list of it and slowly work on it. If it's someone else that's making you cry... Tell yourself everyday they aren't worth it and fortify your mind. Sooner or later it will kind of work.

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whiskytamponflamenco t1_j9xb0zw wrote

Stoicism and botox.

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Lariche t1_j9ysqmk wrote

Had to scroll that far for Botox! Paralyse those emotions today!

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scaleofthought t1_j9z9p5m wrote

purchases scepter, cape, and crown.... So much Botox I look like swollen marshmallow with eyes

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throowaawayyyy t1_ja11aat wrote

For real, supposedly there is some kind of neurological feedback loop between face and emotions. Like how they say smiling actually makes you feel happier. I've heard Botox interferes with this

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chuker34 t1_j9xg7a6 wrote

Don’t.

I’ve been around some narcissistic people my whole life and have gone full on “stone brick” for so long that I don’t think I actually have full on emotions any more.

I know I feel then, but I can’t express them. There’s a clear difference when I’m happy, but I don’t think it fully shows. It’s either there or not, and the level I show never changes. I can be the happiest I’ve been in my whole life and it come across as if I had a decent hamburger at a new place.

Be fine with who you are, if you accept yourself you’ve already conquered the world.

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murrimabutterfly t1_j9xjr8x wrote

Yup.
Due to trauma, I compartmentalize so well that I make Marie Kondo look like a slob. Each box is filled with fifteen similar boxes, and all of these are tucked away neatly on a shelf that is behind a vault that only ever opens to let something in.
I can convincingly fake any emotion and go through the motions of being "normal". Like, my manager once told me I seemed happier lately during one of my worst recent episodes. She's incredibly empathetic and good at reading people; I was compensating for my shit mental health with extra external pep and pizazz.
It's overrated.
I'm in therapy and it actively concerns my therapist how hard it is for me to convey genuine emotion. Any true emotion I feel is like an assault on the senses, and I can't control it. I literally have to take an entire day to take care of myself if the vault opens up and real emotion spills out.
I hate it.
I wish I could emote like a normal person.
I think true strength comes from owning how you're feeling.

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CaddyCadder t1_j9xtbtc wrote

The Marie Kondo of compartmentalization is an amazing description. Hope you are doing okay.

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whereswilkie t1_j9y1oea wrote

My (33F) SO (33M) tears up at so many things. It's seriously one of my favorite things about him. Hes a carpenter, and im sure his co-workers would make fun of him for it (i know he listens to podcasts at work that make him tear up in front of his co-workers). I know he doesn't like that about himself probably the same way you don't like it about yourself. But i wouldn't want him to change that. Its one of the things that makes him the most caring person, he feels things intensely.

Long story short, there are people out there that will love you for it!

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madmiah t1_j9xbsmv wrote

Cultivate relaxing bitch face.

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samtherat6 t1_j9xpefp wrote

I’m jealous, you seem like an honest person to be around. There are a few times where not instinctively showing emotions does pay off for me, like when I’m disappointed. But for a vast majority of the time, it makes me feel excluded.

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timmyboyoyo t1_j9y9gl5 wrote

Why not showing disappoint pay off?

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Absolei t1_j9zvvi5 wrote

Because what if someone got you something that they're really excited to give you, but it's just not something you want? If you show your disappointment to them, all it does is discourage them from getting you things in the future and makes them feel bad.

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timmyboyoyo t1_ja05jg2 wrote

But then they get you same things you don't real like

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Absolei t1_ja06y0q wrote

Sometimes you just have to say something like, "Oh, I'd like this thing!" During the course of the rest of the year. This makes it so they actually do get stuff you like but don't feel as if they shouldn't have gotten you anything. Honestly, I think what you do depends on how open to confrontation you are.

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PrestigiousWaffles t1_j9yemxs wrote

The people who write not to change don't really get the problem. It's good to be an emotional person, it is however very bad to cry in front of people who want to get back at you. They will see your kindheartedness as a weakness and use it against you. The best defence against a bully is being unfazed

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Girl--Gone-Mild t1_ja0glc2 wrote

I feel this and the OP. I hate showing emotions in certain situations - like at work with a demented boss. It’s only happened a few times - but all those times were so embarrassing and I tried so hard to fake no emotion but I broke. I wish I had an answer. When I feel the tears coming I try and grit my teeth and imagine my face going blank and try to think of something to pull myself out of my own head or the current moment … if that makes any sense. Like something I’m going to do tonight or saying the alphabet backwards in my head even for just a few seconds. I don’t know - but I’ll be following to see what other people suggest. I agree you shouldn’t try to lose your emotions but I do understand wanting to control what people see. Especially when it will make life hard or have a negative effect on the situation.

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Vortamock t1_j9xgzu1 wrote

You're probably better off if you don't. I did and regret it. I've somewhat reverted, but still have trouble in some social interactions as a result. You'll likely connect better with people if you don't.

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Hidonymous t1_j9xsgeh wrote

This isn't a permanent solution, nor should you want one (hopefully) but this well help mask emotions.

You can conjure up certain memories that make you feel a certain way to counteract what you're feeling in the moment. Typically the "opposite" works.

Sad about something? Think about one of your happiest moments.

Incredibly mad but don't want to lash out? Remember a time when you felt peaceful.

This helps me a lot.

The most effective method for not showing when you're upset specifically for me is internally deciding, almost reciting, "I don't care what you think about me anymore."

Also look up some Bene Gesserit mantras, lol.

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JesusPotto t1_j9xv8oa wrote

Join the military. Deploy. Come back. People will ask you why you have a blank expression. You will quickly realize that it’s not all it’s chalked up to be. You don’t want to be an emotionless husk dude.

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nakrimu t1_j9xyt02 wrote

It would seem to me that those that criticize you for having emotions are actually insecure about not having the emotions themselves. Don’t base your value on what these people think of you as it sounds to me they are the ones that are damaged, not you! I totally understand where you are coming from though, I didn’t learn this lesson overnight and at one time I was pretty insecure about the fact that when I got mad I would cry sometimes and I always felt like that made me look weak. It just came to me in time that it’s who I am and that counts for something. Believe me it’s far better to go through your life feeling as many emotions as you can as it gives you a sense of fulfilment and allows you to better understand yourself and others. Don’t change who you are for the sake of someone else’s insecurities!

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ImTuTuToo t1_j9zic5n wrote

I am NOT a psychologist, but we might share the same type of personality: Empathetic.
My advice is to seek professional advice. Do not try and hold your emotions inside of yourself! Speaking from personal experience, a truly sensitive, honest individual who “holds in” their emotions will manifest other physical illnesses. Like high blood pressure. I have measured this in real time! It certainly isn’t “normal” to cry and be “so sensitive”, but it is probably a great and rather precious rare gift to understand, and Develop this gift by seeking professional help. I do hope you find happiness in your journey.

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booherm t1_j9xap67 wrote

Sounds like it is just who you are, embrace it.

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3knuckles t1_j9xdgm5 wrote

Serious - take acting classes. I wouldn't change who you are, you sound fine. But if you want, learn how actors appear different to how they feel.

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Aromatic-Assistant73 t1_j9yudy8 wrote

Mindfulness mediation. Waking Up app is a great start. Also maybe your emotions are causing physical manifestations more often precisely because you are trying to hide them. If you are sad, say you are sad. Maybe expressing your emotions with words will help release them in more socially acceptable ways and lead to better communication.

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aim_so_far t1_j9z1x2p wrote

Learn to address ur emotions as they come up and not express them, like "I feel like I'm getting sad". Acknowledge them and then move on from it. There's nothing wrong with crying, but there is time and place for it. You have to learn to compartmentalize ur feelings and address them later when the time is right.

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Shot_Inspection7947 t1_j9z3k1j wrote

Agreed…embrace it! I’ve been told I’m an Empath and feel the emotions of others. Not sure that’s it but a sappy song on a commercial can bring tears to my eyes when it has animals in it. Heck even an office meeting can be depending on the topic. Looking at someone with teary eyes gets me going. I’ve tried to find something to count. Flowers in a shirt, lines in the wallpaper. Anything to distract me and refocus when my emotions are out of control. Good luck! It’s a challenge most of the time but I’d rather be emotional and happy than a stone cold face b3”!@. 😜

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keepthetips t1_j9x970t wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

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If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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Mistborn19 t1_j9xgf77 wrote

Lexapro. Kinda not kidding

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mssyuniv t1_j9y29ha wrote

I was on Lexapro for about 16 months and I could hardly ever cry, even when I needed to. I actually found most emotions hard to express during that time though.

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Bro-koli6944 t1_j9xkzb9 wrote

Don't. Emotions are part of the human being, you live for these. If you become passive to bad things, you will be for good things too and will ultimately have the same feelings than a rock: any. And your surroundings will flee, as no one want to be friend with a cold stone

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noytam t1_j9xpbzp wrote

You'll have to disconnect yourself from everything. Convince yourself everything you know is just temporary and it's pointless to get attached to it, since it can vanish tomorrow. Things as well as people.

I highly doubt you're willing to go that far, so when things get too much better to instead just go to the bathroom or a quiet corner to let it out until you feel more relaxed.

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Hamsterpatty t1_j9xrido wrote

I’ve been watching emotional movies and not letting it show on my face. Mostly just deep breathing brings me back to 0 from 50 tho

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Ericknator t1_j9xtq64 wrote

I got it by simply "not caring" or just internalizing my emotions (Leaving most of what I feel as thoughs instead of actually expressing them). Now I got depression and overthinking and I struggle to express anything.

I do feel stuff, but it takes a VERY strong feeling to make me do something. It sucks, cause sometimes people tell me a joke, or a good news, or something sad, or I am angry about something, and I'm just like :l

If you want to go that way go ahead, but restraining your emotions, specially if you are sensitive, is not going to end well.

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Niek27 t1_j9xvhae wrote

Embrace it,

I wish I could cry and express my emotions. I've hide it for so long that its very hard to cry or laugh. I feel locked up inside.

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fifthgenerationfool t1_j9yc0n1 wrote

I understand how you feel. Practice allowing yourself to get angry and stick up for yourself. I used to end up crying when I had to stick up for myself because I was so bad at confrontation. After years of practicing it’s gotten better.

A handy trick for not crying is deep breathing. When you feel yourself starting to cry, start a deep breathing technique.

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PrestigiousWaffles t1_j9ye3s3 wrote

try growing up with emotionally distant parents, that usually does the trick

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mayo_nnais3 t1_j9yhgo5 wrote

Emotions are human and natural. Find better people to be around. Let your emotions out if and whenever you need to.

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mostlygray t1_j9yn7ep wrote

Be happy that you have an emotive face.

I don't make expressions. I have to force them and I end up looking really weird. Pictures of me where I'm smiling on purpose make it look like I'm an alien in a human suit who's learning how to smile.

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ajoeroganfan t1_j9yna1r wrote

Learn to keep your face relaxed

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sailawaytoday t1_j9yu3a1 wrote

Bite the inside of your cheek until it hurts enough to distract you from your feelings. Stuff those feelings down. Practice sitting in a public area and pick a point to stare at. Do not let people moving around you distract you from your point. Practice not making eye contact or looking as the pass by.

Ultimately you control your reaction to your emotions. Just takes some practice.

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saucity t1_j9yvdp9 wrote

I’m very sensitive, too. Although I’m a lot more cynical now, just having been through some major shit over the years, I’d say: please don’t try to lose this quality. 💕

We are severely outnumbered, and took me awhile to accept that I am who I am: a kind person, up against a lot of unkindness and injustice in the world. I’ve always been different, and not really fit in; it bothered me growing up and I spent too much time worrying about what others thought. I now realize I wouldn’t want to fit in with cruel, ignorant people.

What helped me is learning how to set firm (but kind) boundaries, and not let people cross them. Even determining what your boundaries are is a good step. This can take awhile to practice! But now, I’m my kind, sensitive self, but also, not a doormat, either.

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BaldieGoose t1_j9yve3c wrote

Improvement of emotional intelligence. Join the military.

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BeesAndMist t1_j9yy1dx wrote

I'll wager most sensitive people hate being sensitive. Myself included. Absolutely sucks the life out of me sometimes. But it's important to remember there are things you are capable of that other people who aren't as sensitive are not able to comprehend. And when you look at it, that can be quite an attribute. I funneled that into an artistic place where it works very well. You might check out the book Divergent Mind. It talks about being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and how you can better understand that about yourself.

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cyrus709 t1_j9yz719 wrote

Lets swap. After years of killing my emotions I have decided to change my mind.

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MackeyH t1_j9z0rem wrote

I'm not sure who is making fun of you.

Start by getting new friends.

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darkskai t1_j9z132p wrote

You shouldn't hide your emotions as that is actually unhealthy for you mentally, but being able to choose to express them is possible, for me it was recognizing what was triggering my emotions and coming to terms with that, and although I still struggle to not be emotional (I don't think it ever truly goes away) I understand why I am and so I'm able to express myself accordingly even though I may be feeling pretty broken inside.

For example I was recently denied a position at my workplace, my manager and the manager I was transitioning to made it seem like it was a done deal even though I had accumulated points for a write up due to attendance (attendance points systems are garbage by the way), apparently they have moved people before even though they had them, well you know the rest, even though there were clear examples of them disregarding it for others, for some reason they enforced it on me, that was hard to not express how I truly felt, but I was able to keep my composure and just thanked the managers for the opportunity, they did say I can re apply in June but at this point I don't know, that felt so disheartening, like I know I'm expendable but that truly made me feel like I wasn't worth anything to them as a employee, so you can probably surmise how I felt and what I wanted to express at that moment...

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theplushpairing t1_j9z2k2c wrote

Botox. Nicole Kidman couldn’t act for like 10 years after getting some because she stopped being able to emotionally connect. Lose the ability to move the muscles, lose the emotions.

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Aggravating-Ad-3187 t1_j9z3j39 wrote

Interesting, I have the complete opposite problem as you lol

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AnonBoheme t1_j9z4dx2 wrote

Try talking with your doctor about lithium orotate supplementation. Some studies have shown that low dose trace element supplementation of lithium (naturally found on our environment) can help even out folks who feel they have some emotionality issues. You need doctor supervision however.

If its worse than that, chat about further evaluation and treatment.

1

Goser234 t1_j9z7bn9 wrote

My guy, gal, or other, emotions aren't the problem. If you get too good at hiding them, they go away. It takes all the joy out of life. The sky loses color, food has taste, and you can't even work up the emotion to feel bad about it. You become a shell of a human being.

I ended going to therapy to relearn how to feel emotions. They'll still be there, under the surface, building pressure like a volcano. Maybe you'll get a minor eruption and feel for a half hour, or maybe it'll be the equivalent of Vesuvius, catastrophically damaging all parts of your life. Don't let the pressure build.

Your emotions aren't the problem, it's the people around you. Emotions are healthy and wonderful, even if they're not always pleasant.

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SchuyWalker t1_j9z8udi wrote

Disregard anyone that gives you shit for being yourself and true to your feelings. Don't change for garbage people.

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V1tunpr0 t1_j9z9vdz wrote

Trade me half of your power and we will balance out perfectly

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CasaEnLaPlaya t1_j9zaznv wrote

I know this feeling, emotions are a good thing but if you really feel like they're having too much influence and you want to become more numb: have your feelings hurt bad. You get used to painful comments if you hear them all the time. Pro tip: get someone you love/like/respect hurt your feelings, that hits the hardest.

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Hunter_Dune t1_j9zdz8n wrote

You might not want to do this.

I forced myself, for a very long time, to almost never show a hint of negative emotion on my face due to the bias of those around me. Now, years later, I have a (wonderful) SO and a fantastic group of people around me who sometimes wonder why I'm so stoic to the point of almost being robotic. I'm not having to unlearn being so boxed up, and show those who love me what I'm feeling on my face.

Having emotions is not a bad thing.

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marimo2019 t1_j9zfah5 wrote

I was like this growing up and in my early 20s, but once I really understood that I had people who actually love me and supports me, my "sensitivity" got a lot better. It's important to know who actually matters in your life and who doesn't really (for example not being too attached to some "friends" who don't actually care about you). Sometimes it's really good just to remind yourself that some things don't matter to your life, and some things people say or think about you really don't matter. In my 30s I'm much better, now that I'm living with a very supportive loving boyfriend.

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Stabfacenotback t1_j9zfl3i wrote

I cry when I'm happy, when I laugh, when I'm sad, when I'm tired, when I'm frustrated. The sight of actual tears makes other people over react.

For me, it's simply biological. For the observer, it's shocking and borderline inappropriate. Why?

So I've gotten used to saying, "Just because there's tears, doesn't mean this is crushing my soul. I'm fine. Get over it." if they're calling me out and it's awkward.

If they're simply showing concern, I say, "Hallmark cards make me cry. Puppies and butterflies make me cry. Of course I can shed a tear upon hearing a perfect stranger met some sort of demise. I'm a crier and I'm not sorry."

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lil_groundbeef t1_j9zgtos wrote

I’m just going to say as an emotionally in tuned person myself, the best thing I ever did was experiment with psychedelic mushrooms. Not saying they’re for you, but I’m saying they helped me significantly with processing emotions. It all boils down to how you let things effect you. You can either care greatly or not give a fuck. The mushrooms helped me find it within myself to not let things effect me so greatly. I couldn’t have done it without them. They changed my life for the better. They effect everybody differently and can trigger psychosis etc so be mindful if you have a family history of any mental issues like that if you do decide to try them for yourself.

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LadyLazaev t1_j9zkeij wrote

Find better friends. You're fine just the way you are.

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Decent_Echidna_246 t1_j9zml80 wrote

Use a mirror and practice an “emotionless face” over and over again. Do these drills for a few weeks. You’ll be able to default to that expression when you feel other emotions

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INFOborg t1_j9znumf wrote

People that accomplish this goal of showing no emotion ever resemble mannequins. So the ideal that you're talking about, really, is the "plastic ideal". This ideal was championed and proliferated heavily in the '80s.

The result from pursuing it exacts a very dehumanizing toll: when people cannot read your emotions, those closest to you misinterpret what you're feeling on a consistent basis. Miscommunications flourish. It is like being deaf, only it's your emotions that do not respond.

Being sensitive, on the other hand, may embarrass you a little bit in public (or around shitty people). But when it comes to your most valuable relationships, among those whom you truly trust, being sensitive is a superpower that rewards you over and over.

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5hadow_Swrl t1_j9zo7i6 wrote

Its better to have the ability to process emotion then bottle it & one day snap & crash out or do something completely irrational.

Try & direct your emotions into pen & paper give journaling a shot. Allows you to free your mind & then look back & reflect on times when you thought this was the end all be all, how could my life get any worse or vice versa the best day ever, something that made you really happy. It’s nostalgic being able to reflect on that. I enjoy journalling right before bed helps put my mind at ease & fall asleep quickly

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AWholeNewFattitude t1_j9zpjgg wrote

What helps me is rationality, crying is a release of emotion. Is this emotion helping me in this situation, in most business situations its working against you, and why would you chose to work against yourself. It wont fix it overnight but focusing on whether sharing my emotions or being emotional in that moment is actually hurting whatever my goal may be, helped me to save it for more appropriate times, like feel good news stories or Christmas commercials : )

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sherilaugh t1_j9zr2cy wrote

Find yourself another sweet sensitive person. Marry them. Avoid everyone else.
Might be crap advice but it’s working for me

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kati9617 t1_j9zrdnz wrote

Please do not change yourself! You are lucky because there are so many who cannot show emotions so they are in pain and can't let people know. I am the same way! I dont care what people say about you their opinions do not matter!!! If you will surround yourself with positive people, they will not treat you like this. I am trying to distance myself from "friends" who treat me bad. It is the hardest thing I have ever done! But it's working. I'm feeling better, slowly but surely. I have one friend whom I have known for 32 years. Yep. 32 years! But I am slowly letting her know I will not put up with her behavior toward me. Get rid of people who don't make you feel good about yourself

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Hazel-Laurensanity t1_j9zx4n0 wrote

Ok but to actually answer the question just in case it helps someone at some point.

  1. feigning eye contact: look at their nose. If they're close enough, figure out what color their eyes are. How many times have they adjusted glasses/hair/whatever but always stick to something above the neck so you don't look like a cracked out dragula butchering the conversation partner with your eyes.
  2. aside from their voice, try to see what else you can hear and what's causing the noise. If it's annoying enough, take advantage of the next pause to mention needing to check out whatever it was.

I could.go on but my phone is about to die and honestly, ATLA had a spirit world monster that required absolute emotionlessness to face it without getting your face stolen so..I recommend trying to find at least that episode since it goes more in detail and stuff.

Also this is not meant to further one's desire for social withdrawal or other isolationist tendencies, nor is it intend for use with any illegal activities or otherwise harmful objectives. This is, at best, an attempt at acting advice,.emotional preservation assistance, and a wedge to drive between yourself island inherent toxicity of others. I really agree with almost everyone suggesting seeking out a professional, but I also understand that for one reason or another, that's not always an option for everyone. Instead, I suggest you use any advice given here for voiding emotional expression as an accessibility aid and not a strategy in and of itself. I hope this helps, and I sincerely hope things get better for you, OP:)

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Lave_nas t1_j9zxkhs wrote

As someone who got stripped of emotions due to depression, I envy you. Stay the way you are! It feels amazing to be happy and be able to be vulnerable and cry whenever you need it! Don’t strip yourself of something that makes you!

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returntheslab7 t1_ja06mln wrote

Having a soft heart is the bravest and strongest thing you can do in this world of ours. Find people who value that.

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BudgetHoney5908 t1_ja07ed4 wrote

I find saying things loudly (controlled volume) can help, like you're tuning away bad energy. But that also comes from being more confident and look at things in a positive way.

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naikousei t1_ja0g4or wrote

Botox.

(Just kidding, you're fine, societal expectations and toxic masculinity ruin this kind of thing for so many people, keep being yourself!)

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thelone__ranger t1_ja0jtcb wrote

no joke: watch a lot of bill burr stand up specials. youll soon learn to not care

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Serynch t1_ja0mgf9 wrote

I did exactly this, it took me years, and I regret it a lot now because it's hard to undo

Remaining unfazed by everything is a sad life

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1i3to t1_ja0n77q wrote

After meditating for around 10000 hours I am an expert in this.

In a nutshell you need to stop reacting and start accepting and living in the moment.

Letting bad emotions go is a scary prospect until one day you wake up and you can't remember when you last felt anger. fear or disgust.

You go from "blue balloon, my least favourite colour, it's blocking my view!" to "Nice, a balloon. It's flying!". You do this by not judging, not expecting, not demanding.

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siammang t1_ja0t5wf wrote

Botox will be a great choice. Talk to your dermatologist

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stargate-command t1_ja0wc02 wrote

I’m way older than you, and not at all “sensitive”. My emotional responses tend to be dulled by my upbringing and what I believe is a trauma defense.

I have great appreciation for my lack of sensitivity. Being overly emotional seems exhausting. But I will say that positive people are great. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like being around folks who readily express positive emotions like joy, humor, love, compassion, etc. if that’s you, then please don’t seek to change. It’s delightful to be around people who appreciate the world, and who exude positivity.

But negative emoters are a drag. Folks who sad cry over small inconveniences, or get very angry over little things, get envious over everything, easily offended and fearful. If it is negative emotions, then I’d say it would be worth working on a bit.

Sounds like you’re on the positive side, which begs the question…. Why would you want to change? If people you are around don’t like that you are happy, that is bonkers… find new people. If they are sick of your crying and complaining, then maybe it’s worth exploring though.

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CuteCowdy t1_ja0wyev wrote

I’m actually the opposite, i feel like i can never cry, and I’m always apathetic to stuff.. I also need help

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[deleted] t1_ja175k0 wrote

Go into a high stress life threatening environment for 3 to 6 months. That should do it. Otherwise I can't help think that you may be someone that cultivates drama. The very question itself seems designed to get a reaction and feed into some sort of complex you may have.

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natgibounet t1_ja3e6x9 wrote

Hey if there is one can anyone give me the link to the opposite of the LPT, like how to be better at showing émotions ?

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Fun-Conclusion-7862 t1_ja4927t wrote

I’ll chew gum if I’m anxious/panicky and out in public and/or have to speak. But I kind of start chewing it like a cow eating grass. But I’d rather someone notice that rather than the way I’m breathing or speaking. Can also just put a mask on. Feeling hidden has always calmed me down (hats, hoodies, mask, sunglasses), but also makes me look suspicious.

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ArmsHeavySoKneesWeak t1_ja62t2f wrote

Read subtle art of not giving a f*, really helped changed my perspective.

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Prestigious_House832 t1_j9yrhh0 wrote

“I would like to become an emotionless zombie”

Lmao you sure about that? How old are you? Emotions are what makes us human

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