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pendrekky t1_j9uy7w7 wrote

I never understood this; we share our income into 1 account and I couldnt possibly imagine doing it differently

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mtgheron t1_j9v9sb4 wrote

That’s right. We’re a team and we do everything together. Money is just a tool. We have “fun money” that’s our own but everything we make goes through our budget and bank account. We’re not “partners”, we’re married. Business partners care about money first. Married people care about each other first.

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CrazyString t1_j9ve67o wrote

How is putting money into a mutual pot for bills and such putting money first?

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mtgheron t1_j9veswm wrote

I think you know that’s not what I said. Not putting it into the same place first is not putting marriage first. Having personal bank accounts is not bad.

If personal account first, then shared, that’s putting money first.

If shared account first, then personal, that’s putting marriage first.

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StudioRat t1_j9vjgm3 wrote

I wonder if there is an income differential (ie: one spouse makes more than the other) then there might be a tendency to evaluate each person's contribution separately - the "I bring more to our finances than you do." I guess whatever works. Like you, we have always lumped everything together into a single account. It seems a strange concept to me to do otherwise.

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The_Stein244 OP t1_j9vhrcm wrote

That's fine, but how often do you buy things that you want that you partner would find frivolous? If you do, has it ever created an argument? This is simply a way to avoid that. By contributing a high amount like I suggested, it is still a situation where there is mostly one account. Just a little fun money to avoid the arguments.

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pendrekky t1_j9x1i8v wrote

Everything we spend is our money so its a common decision. It seems almost selfish to have some share of my income “for myself” as if having one bank account is somehow limiting me and what I want to do

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FilthyPout t1_j9v14k9 wrote

Sounds horrible!

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Dutch-knight t1_j9v3n4w wrote

And who is the boss.

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[deleted] t1_j9v4bgb wrote

[deleted]

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ThatFNGuye t1_j9vbdjw wrote

Wife and I have a monthly set, managed to the week budget spreadsheet in a shared document app. Enter all spend in the week its occurred and be transparent. All spend is put on our shared credit cards and we get 2% cash back on 100% of the spend. We usually keep under our budget and meet our savings and investment goals every month. Now and then we have an event, like car repair and we don't quite make the savings goal. Oh well, make it up next month! Works well for us.

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College-Lumpy t1_j9vci0w wrote

Neither in my marriage. And we really never fight about money. We talk and negotiate it out. Complete transparency.

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