Submitted by The_Stein244 t3_11aym8a in LifeProTips
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Comments
redhat6161 t1_j9v9xif wrote
I like OPs solution much better. Works great in my marriage.
perdigaoperdeuapena t1_j9vbx9t wrote
Mine too. But our premises were different, we both felt that we had already reached a level of autonomy that justified having separate accounts! So we agreed that I bear certain expenses and she bears others, more or less equally.
Everything has worked out perfectly for the last 25 years - and the OP is quite right, there are things I can buy without having to justify much and my wife the same ;-)
Brodie1985 t1_j9vds0f wrote
I think different strokes for different folks. My wife and I do the shared account route. She buys whatever she wants that’s within our budget and I do the same thing. Works for us but I know some people it wouldn’t work out for.
ShampooIsBetter33 t1_j9voyjb wrote
Agreed. Different strokes is spot on.
However, what I find interesting about OPs approach is I could see this becoming an issue related to the breadwinner being able to spend more freely. I make significantly more then my wife, doesn’t mean I think I get to spend significantly more. And especially with a kid, I can’t imagine not doing it the joint method. However that is just us, and as an accountant it easier to have me manage the budget for the whole family.
We talk at a minimum every 2 weeks about these things.
My LPT is to make a list of needs and don’t spend too spontaneously. As in spending continually on various $20 Amazon purchases, or $5 at Starbucks adds up quick.
Brodie1985 t1_j9vs0xp wrote
Yeah same here. My wife makes 1/8 of what I make and I can for sure see where OPs method could cause issues for us. Right now she just checks in to see what is in the budget for something. I don’t mind spending money on her as most of the time it’s stuff that we both get to enjoy like dinners, trips, a dress for her or some jewelry. Most of the time she doesn’t even suggest anything I just buy her stuff.
dirkles t1_j9vam2c wrote
Exactly. This is the kind of stuff that should get ironed out before marriage. If I thought of money I earned as mine, then I am not thinking of how my contributions are for the benefit of the unit (family, partner, kids, etc) as a whole. Once my wife and I got married, it has always been about us , and not me + them. I imagine some people struggle with this, so it is probably best that they don't get married, or at least not in the legal sense.
TL;DR --> If you have any doubts in your partner's commitment to Sparkle Motion, then you should not be married.
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GhostOfAbba t1_j9vh54u wrote
We use YNAB and we each have our own spending category. Easy.
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JRsFancy t1_j9v4204 wrote
Have had yours, mine and ours accounts for over 20 years. It has worked fine so far.
theithe916 t1_j9viz9t wrote
Same. We are going on 12 years and it works great.
RascalRibs t1_j9uulnn wrote
Never had any issues with a shared account.
Only recently opened separate accounts for sportsbetting since using the same account can be an issue
Raskolnikoolaid t1_j9ux4to wrote
Sportsbetting is an issue in itself
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yamaha2000us t1_j9vfvtf wrote
Spouse does not know about the sports betting account.
Soon to be linked to Apple Pay and Pornhub subscription.
…I think that’s how they spell it.
RascalRibs t1_j9ux7gi wrote
For some people, sure.
It's just extra income for us.
Raskolnikoolaid t1_j9uxtsd wrote
Until it becomes an extra expense
Alex_butler t1_j9vcn0m wrote
It’s actually not that hard to be profitable in sportsbetting if you know what you’re doing and you’re taking advantage of promos. For the most part it’s just a risk management game and you’re not even gambling.
For example prizepicks let’s you bet $20 risk free every Friday and they have prop discounts on Tuesdays and other promos throughout the year. If you only bet on Friday and promos the risk is pretty minimal. That’s just one site. If you start using promos across sites to maximize value you can add a decent source of income. It’s a process that can be a bit complicated to maximize profits, but if you just want some extra bucks here and there then the key is promos.
The issue is people who become addicted and just throwing bets left and right everyday or try to hit the big one to get money fast. I made $3.5k in 2022 (before taxes), maybe I could’ve made more if I was betting everyday, but there’s also a chance I wouldve lost too.
666pool t1_j9vkl24 wrote
How much time did you invest in it to make that $3.5K?
Alex_butler t1_j9vvq6g wrote
A lot if you count also watching games, but I also do it for fun a bit as well and quite enjoy doing it. I’d be watching sports regardless so a little income off of it is a bonus. It’s not a career by any means and the $ per hour wouldnt be worth it the way I do it if I didnt have fun doing it. I am on the addicted side of the spectrum for sure, but I am aware of ways you can do it risk free and that’s why I chimed in.
The example I used would take 5 mins max if you didn’t care about the games at all and just waited for the results. There are other ways to use promos within 5 mins that are risk free as well. It really just depends what your goal of doing it is.
RascalRibs t1_j9uyfk6 wrote
It won't though. Once the easy money is gone we'll just stop doing it.
resetmypass t1_j9uz8rl wrote
Can you tell me more about how I can make easy money by gambling?
RascalRibs t1_j9uzo0q wrote
By not gambling.
You take advantage of promo offers and boosts. Just takes some basic math and you'll come out ahead.
We just finished a DC trip and made almost $3k. Going back tomorrow since they sent some more offers this week.
resetmypass t1_j9uzxf3 wrote
Give an example please. Can you share exactly what was the promo offer and what was the bet to make 3k? To me it sounds like you got lucky instead of you getting “free” money.
RascalRibs t1_j9v0pqt wrote
There's no luck involved.
GambetDC had a 57% deposit match up to $1000 in bonus funds. They also did a $250 risk free first bet.
MGM had a 100% $500 deposit match and a $1000 risk free bet.
I'm not going to list out every bet, but you use those offers and bet the opposite side using another book. We used Draftkings, Caesars and Fanduel depending on who had the best line offered for each bet. Was a bit annoying with DC since they have location restrictions for MGM and Gambet, but it was still easy enough to make the bets and then either walk to the next area or take the metro back to VA to place our hedge bets.
Oh, and we also got $200 in free bets on MGM for some reason.
resetmypass t1_j9v1ogf wrote
This doesn’t make sense to me. If you use bonus money to make a bet and then use your own money to make the hedge bet, don’t you just either lose the bonus money or lose your hedging bet? How do you get ahead?
RascalRibs t1_j9v2i2y wrote
Just to keep it simple, we'll look at the BetMGM offer without even considering the risk free bet portion, and just for one user.
You deposit $500 and receive $500. You have $1000 to place a wager.
You place $1000 on a +220 line. The total payout is $3200.
You place a hedge bet of $2286 on the opposite outcome at odds of -250. The total payout is $3200.
So you've bet $500 and $2286, for a total of $2786, and your total payout is $3200. $3200 - 2786 is a profit of $414.
resetmypass t1_j9v5j3q wrote
Thanks for explaining! How do you get these offers? I will go try it out
RascalRibs t1_j9v5ruu wrote
The BetMGM offer is available to be customers. Once you register, just wait a few days and they'll send the email for the deposit match offer.
And you can do it again in multiple states.
drgngd t1_j9v978s wrote
Dude good shit on gaming the system!
RascalRibs t1_j9v9mr5 wrote
They have no problem screwing customers so I'm just trying to fight back lol
drgngd t1_j9v9uzg wrote
Oh 1000% that's why I'm rooting for you. They're trying to lure in people with the free bets so they can take their money. Glad you figured out a way to take some of it back.
Bay_Burner t1_j9vigo1 wrote
Can’t you just take the $500 and bet $10 and withdraw? You free $500 lost some value down to $414.
RascalRibs t1_j9vk027 wrote
You have to play through it before you can withdraw it.
And I usually find much better lines, so I'd end up around $500.
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Raskolnikoolaid t1_j9uz7jm wrote
How will you know the easy money is gone, it could be a bad streak
RascalRibs t1_j9uzfib wrote
I think you assume that we are gambling. We're not.
We take the guaranteed money 99% of the time.
We do bet on games that we'll be watching though, but we can do without that.
placeholder_name85 t1_j9v8vz5 wrote
Least convincing thing that could have been said. It only becomes a problem when you consider it a source of income.
RascalRibs t1_j9v9e3w wrote
But it is a source of income. Has been for the last 2 years.
I know people have a hard time grasping the concept because all they see is "sportsbetting" but you can use it to make guaranteed income if you have the discipline.
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CrazyString t1_j9ve0oj wrote
So basically what OP suggested. Suddenly you want to do something for yourself like betting and got a separate account. Why not just use the shared account since that was working so well?
Alex_butler t1_j9velw7 wrote
If you win consistently at sportsbetting it’s nice to have another account for tax purposes. I put 50% of all my withdrawals in a separate savings account that way I know I’m covered for taxes and after the taxes I’ve got some extra savings. It’s a nice way to keep track although a spreadsheet of the $ amounts would probably work as well
RascalRibs t1_j9vepha wrote
No, that's not what I said at all.
You can't fund two separate sportsbetting accounts with the same bank account. They will flag that and we'd lose out on the bonuses/promotions for one of the accounts.
That's the only kind of thing we use the separate account for, and it's only her name on it.
pendrekky t1_j9uy7w7 wrote
I never understood this; we share our income into 1 account and I couldnt possibly imagine doing it differently
mtgheron t1_j9v9sb4 wrote
That’s right. We’re a team and we do everything together. Money is just a tool. We have “fun money” that’s our own but everything we make goes through our budget and bank account. We’re not “partners”, we’re married. Business partners care about money first. Married people care about each other first.
CrazyString t1_j9ve67o wrote
How is putting money into a mutual pot for bills and such putting money first?
mtgheron t1_j9veswm wrote
I think you know that’s not what I said. Not putting it into the same place first is not putting marriage first. Having personal bank accounts is not bad.
If personal account first, then shared, that’s putting money first.
If shared account first, then personal, that’s putting marriage first.
StudioRat t1_j9vjgm3 wrote
I wonder if there is an income differential (ie: one spouse makes more than the other) then there might be a tendency to evaluate each person's contribution separately - the "I bring more to our finances than you do." I guess whatever works. Like you, we have always lumped everything together into a single account. It seems a strange concept to me to do otherwise.
The_Stein244 OP t1_j9vhrcm wrote
That's fine, but how often do you buy things that you want that you partner would find frivolous? If you do, has it ever created an argument? This is simply a way to avoid that. By contributing a high amount like I suggested, it is still a situation where there is mostly one account. Just a little fun money to avoid the arguments.
pendrekky t1_j9x1i8v wrote
Everything we spend is our money so its a common decision. It seems almost selfish to have some share of my income “for myself” as if having one bank account is somehow limiting me and what I want to do
FilthyPout t1_j9v14k9 wrote
Sounds horrible!
KingfisherDays t1_j9vahqm wrote
Why?
FilthyPout t1_j9yz7s1 wrote
A sort of 1950s dystopia, I can almost see the suburbs and SUV
Dutch-knight t1_j9v3n4w wrote
And who is the boss.
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ThatFNGuye t1_j9vbdjw wrote
Wife and I have a monthly set, managed to the week budget spreadsheet in a shared document app. Enter all spend in the week its occurred and be transparent. All spend is put on our shared credit cards and we get 2% cash back on 100% of the spend. We usually keep under our budget and meet our savings and investment goals every month. Now and then we have an event, like car repair and we don't quite make the savings goal. Oh well, make it up next month! Works well for us.
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College-Lumpy t1_j9vci0w wrote
Neither in my marriage. And we really never fight about money. We talk and negotiate it out. Complete transparency.
Dutch-knight t1_j9xpgo6 wrote
Good to hear
KrasnyRed5 t1_j9utq23 wrote
My fiancee and I do this, the percentages we each contribute is closer to 50% of our paychecks each and we use that to cover all the bills, groceries and nights out. The rest we have in personal accounts to use as we please.
Zoltan_Kakler t1_j9v0tf7 wrote
Same here. Shared joint account for bills and stuff, personal accounts for our personal stuff. It has been working well for us for many years, no arguments about money.
zib-zab t1_j9v8nr6 wrote
Same situation with us. My partner and I have a joint account that we each pay into proportional to our income (which amounts to ~50% of our income each) to cover rent, bills, pet expenses, fun stuff we do together, stuff for the house... The rest of our money stays in our own separate accounts for us to use on stuff we do without the other person (hobbies, hangouts with friends, clothing, personal purchases). It's worked super well so far!
polkjamespolk t1_j9uuu64 wrote
You mean that the arrangement I had, where my money was OUR money and her money was NONE OF MY BUSINESS was not optimal?
adunk9 t1_j9v6y1p wrote
We had different banks when we moved in together, and got 3 accounts when we finally settled on a bank. Hers, mine, and the joint account. Paychecks go into the joint account, and allowance goes into personal accounts. This is mostly because there is a huge income discrepancy between me and my S/O. My paychecks are almost double what she brings home in a month, and I do not want her to feel like she isn't contributing as much. If we split things the way you described, I would have thousands more dollars a year in discretionary spending than she would. The weekly allowance is the same for both of us, and once we reduce our debt more, the allowance will increase for both of us. Allowance money can be spent no questions asked, joint money is for everything from bills, to date nights, to random purchases we both agree on. Having separate bank accounts with an allowance still gives us the freedom of having money for our own wants without hurting the budget, but we still have the big pot of money for every day expenses.
Pozeidan t1_j9vi1eu wrote
We also have a huge discrepancy here, even bigger than yours. I probably net 3 times as much as she does. We budgeted accordingly. I put more than 5 times what she puts in the joint account, but we still have 50% ownership of the house on paper.
I still have more left for discretionary spending, but it's not that much. She still has way more discretionary money than she would have if we weren't a couple since her contribution to the joint account is fairly small.
We live a fairly frugal lifestyle so we're both comfortable with that.
adunk9 t1_j9wgum5 wrote
Going to make sure she has ownership of the house/cars once we're married officially in a few months. Been living like we're married since we moved in together 3 years ago. Most of our monthly budget is being eaten up by trying to get out from the debt we both accrued from before we got together. But that's an "US" problem and we deal with it together.
estherstein t1_j9vifr2 wrote
I'm a student so we're single income and we just kind of agree to be responsible with money so far. If it comes to a serious disagreement we'll have to come up with a more official allowance system.
OIIIOjeep t1_j9uw8by wrote
As a banking professional for 16 years. I HIGHLY recommend this, especially when on a tight budget.
Carpsack t1_j9vb842 wrote
Can you elaborate? Because honestly I've only heard pretty bad takes on this, and I seem to do OK with one account and a budget. Curious if there's anything I'm missing.
OIIIOjeep t1_j9vea4k wrote
The benefits I’ve gleamed from utilizing a joint account to pay bills but individual accounts for independence/incidentals are as follows:
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The joint account forces you to know exactly how much is needed monthly for your expenses and thus that is how much goes into the account (plus a buffer). Unlike strictly maintaining a joint account, it is easier for both incomes to be added into the account with no real oversight on how the money is delved out to bills.
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When utilizing a joint account only, the spending from one partner may be far greater then the other because they now have excess income to spend, leaving one persons attempts to save money left in tatters. My experience has been that most people are terrible at saving. This can be a major contention point in relationships.
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If you are on a tight budget, imagine checking your bank account and seeing you have $100 to spend. Both partners believe they have money to spend, so one buys groceries, while the other purchases gas. Both essential. But now that tight budget is in the red and you are being charged a heft overdraft fee and depending on when payday is continued overdraft fees per day. Both parties were responsible and yet the error still occurs.
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Independence is probably the biggest reason I’d recommend still having additional accounts for savings and incidentals. Not to be pessimistic, but there are pretty good odds that a relationship may not work out. You should be able to comfortably understand your finances and regain control of your funds. Not to mention the other reason in the original post such as birthday presents, or getting that little something for yourself that you’ve saved up for without having to worry about the explanation.
redundantposts t1_j9vh3u1 wrote
Actual LPT: Communicate with each other on what works best for you as a couple. If you have to explain something or justify something to your partner, you may just not be communicating well enough. Every relationship is different, and will require different solutions for unique problems.
lamped86 t1_j9uwx0m wrote
I find this advice counterintuitive to marriage. I feel finances should be combined as one. I know this is anecdotal but everytime I've heard about issues in a marriage that stems from finances, I find out that they treated their income as their own.
resetmypass t1_j9uzo1v wrote
If we are sharing anecdotes, I’ve actually seen more problems with completely joint accounts. You get into arguments like “how can you spend so much on shoes” vs “I can’t believe you spent that much on tickets to a game”. You end up discussing every purchase to make sure the other is ok with it and it gets taxing
Zoltan_Kakler t1_j9v0etu wrote
This is the truth. A lot of people are hung up on the topic as you can see by the comments here. The old-school thought is that all money is pooled as part of marriage, as a requirement for marriage. It is not.
The way we do it is we have our own accounts AND we have a joint account. We pay our household bills and stuff with the joint account. I get to spend my money how I want and we don't ever have to argue about money - it's the best of both worlds.
lamped86 t1_j9v14tm wrote
A simple "let's discuss any purchases over 'x' amount" could solve that.
resetmypass t1_j9v28md wrote
That honestly sounds more complicated than having a joint account where you split household needs and then a separate account for individual needs.
lamped86 t1_j9v35pr wrote
If each spouse puts, say 90% of their income into a join account and the other 10% is theirs to spend as they will, what happens when one spouse makes a significant amount more than the other spouse? Can't see a marriage lasting too long in that situation.
resetmypass t1_j9v64f8 wrote
I think you need to have an in depth conversation about how to split the percentages into the joint and individual accounts. But once that’s done, the rest is easy.
lamped86 t1_j9v7fp6 wrote
I don't know how that could be achieved without it being unfair to the one spouse who has to give up a higher percentage of their spending money.
resetmypass t1_j9v8l2t wrote
As an example, one couple I know has the husband making significantly more. The husband contributes 80% of their earnings so that they both can live in a nice apartment in the nice part of town. The wife contributes 50% of her income and keeps 50% so that she has a similar amount of personal spending. They discussed this and were fine with it.
I think after making this one decision, they no longer have to have discussions each time someone spends more than x amount for a completely joint account
Carpsack t1_j9vbq66 wrote
If two people who are married can't work out an equitable budget split they probably have bigger issues. The whole point is to discuss and work out what's fair.
stoic_hysteric t1_j9v32dc wrote
That sounds exhausting! I guess I got really lucky with my partner. We are 99% in alignment. We're also a bit flexible and able to meet each other on what we aren't.
resetmypass t1_j9v5r9n wrote
I think that’s great! Whatever works, works. I do think more ppl have success with separate bank accounts and a joint one for household bills (since most marriages may not be as like minded as yours :))
grax23 t1_j9uz3kf wrote
it makes you feel like the money in your account is yours and not "ours"
you can buy yourself something special without feeling guilty about it.
lamped86 t1_j9v0io1 wrote
I just fail to see why someone would feel guilty about buying something (assuming finances are stable enough to support the purchase).
kickbut101 t1_j9v6jqj wrote
because the finances probably aren't stable enough but the bad purchasing behavior still continues? thats why the arguments or guilt or guilt-tripping ensues
lamped86 t1_j9v8gw6 wrote
In that situation, sperate accounts won't fix overspending. All it would do is force one spouse cover for the other spouse's spending habits.
stoic_hysteric t1_j9v2ubk wrote
Completely agree. It might make sense to keep an account separate early in the relationship (emergency escape fund) but once you buy a house together? At that point you'd better be on the same page in terms of money values. I trust my partner 100% not to make bad small purchases and to always discuss medium or large ones. It does take the fun out of gift-giving, but good lord is it worth that small loss! You can still surprise each other with an hour long back rub, or having dinner ready when it's not your night, or whatever.
BassplayerDad t1_j9uxov7 wrote
Been doing this for 30 years, 60% of net pay into a joint, what we call, house account,.
Seems to work but you do you.
Good luck
sausage_ditka_bulls t1_j9v5tz0 wrote
"YOUR money"
not really. Most states say when you are married the property/assets are joint. that's what marriage is lol. sure keep separate accounts if you want but its not "yours" its both of yours.
jacantu t1_j9v1giz wrote
This is great advice for younger people. It makes absolute sense to always have a pillow to take care of yourself. Gotta have your get out of town bag.
Older generations have much different landmarks on relationships that aren’t really standing for us today.
The_Stein244 OP t1_j9vhc9p wrote
That is 100% the wrong way to take this. It has nothing to do with wanting or being prepared to leave. It is specifically to have an account that you can spend any way you want. Mainly I'm talking about fun things that, in a joint bank account, your partner might argue is frivolous. This is a way to avoid a potential argument.
jacantu t1_j9visb3 wrote
How is this the wrong way to take it? Setting aside money to take care of yourself wether it be a new video game or whatever it is you need to buy, it’s still taking care of yourself.
The_Stein244 OP t1_j9vkta5 wrote
Yes, that I agree with. I just don't like the notion of "gotta have your get out of town bag"
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AceXVIII t1_j9v9n9v wrote
This is great advice, made us both much happier in our marriage. Sure it’s possible to share an account and make it work, but that definitely doesn’t work for everyone. It’s much harder to go from sharing one account to splitting, because the suggestion is always taken personally. If you’re in a new relationship and especially if you are someone who is high income, frugal, or an aggressive saver, do your self a favor and follow this tip from day 1.
Effin_Batman1 t1_j9uvhh6 wrote
Best thing my wife and I ever did. We dont do a percentage though we just get a set petty cash amount.
adunk9 t1_j9v7rfn wrote
Exactly. The above advice only really works if incomes are similar. In my household I make 4x what my S/O makes. If we both contributed 90% of our incomes, I would have a lot left over. Instead we get an even, weekly allowance, that we adjust based on our bills/debts. Less debt = more allowance. I don't make comments about how she spends her allowance, and she doesn't comment about how I spend mine.
Effin_Batman1 t1_j9va0bs wrote
Yea, at the time I made more than her and she was on my case about the multiple swipes a day for things like sodas or snacks or whatever. So she budgeted it all out. gets all our bills paid and gives us some so I can do what I want and not hear it about what I do. Now she makes more than I do and all it means is the fun money goes up some and we still happy.
adunk9 t1_j9wh3jo wrote
Couldn't agree more! We definitely dont complain at each other about money, because my S/O would barely be able to afford their student loans without my income, and I had a ton of Credit Card debt when we got together. We're both working through it and know things will get better over the next 2 years.
skeeve87 t1_j9v59fc wrote
Wife and I both put 50% income into a joint for all bills/food/etc. It's worked out really well for us
symmetrical_kettle t1_j9v7rqf wrote
One of us likes to impulse buy cheaper things, the other likes to save up and buy more expensive things.
Having a joint account + individual accounts helps take away the stress that having differing spending habits has on a marriage.
Protip: If you feel like having individual accounts sets up the field for "cheating" you can have multiple "joint" accounts at the same bank. Keep a real "joint" account, and have 2 additional "joint" accounts you treat as individual accounts.
Kmia55 t1_j9v9ctf wrote
I'm old, in my 60's. We tried this when we first got married and just found it easier to use a joint account. I can see the benefits both ways.
cherm27 t1_j9vgkgu wrote
This is more a “this is an option” LPT than a “this should be standard” LPT. If my wife and I had separate accounts I’d just want to save more knowing we have spending money set aside and would be wondering what she’s using it on, and vice versa. Joint account & transparency works better for us.
McWhiffersonMcgee t1_j9uye0q wrote
Better advice dont get married.
But seriously every relationship is different and has different boundaries and needs.
Thereisnopurpose12 t1_j9vjpsv wrote
👍🏿
[deleted] t1_j9v4vm0 wrote
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AceXVIII t1_j9vaih8 wrote
Disagree. Easier to negotiate big joint expenses than erratic personal expenses.
magicpowns2 t1_j9v592p wrote
This is how i and my partner do it, being a hobby photographer its alot better to have my own $ to spend
libolicious t1_j9v60da wrote
Weird, my LPT would be: Merge your separate bank accounts into joint accounts when you get married.
Source: Married 30 years this years. Meanwhile 3 of the 4 friends who got married same year are divorced. All of them maintained separate money.
Movingtoblighty t1_j9veyt7 wrote
I think a good tip is to discuss and agree how you will manage household finances before getting married.
libolicious t1_j9vgeuz wrote
>I think a good tip is to discuss and agree on nearly everything before getting married.
Fixed it for you. But yes. Agreed!
CrazyString t1_j9vepla wrote
So your anecdotal experience as a source. Ok.
pawsarecute t1_j9vm7h0 wrote
Thats how wappies exist
keepthetips t1_j9utegg wrote
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
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If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
[deleted] t1_j9utwia wrote
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Raging-Walrus t1_j9v52l1 wrote
Great idea when you make significantly more! Especially if the mother of your childern stays at home and has no income!
adunk9 t1_j9v7wfh wrote
I hope there's a /s you're missing.
feelin_cheesy t1_j9v7837 wrote
Better yet don’t even make a joint account. Just add your spouse to your account so they can have access if they need to but respect each other and don’t use it as if it was your own.
tars29 t1_j9v8fsv wrote
Just pay 50% of all the bills and common stuff every couple weeks or something
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Unitedsc77 t1_j9va5cr wrote
What happens when one of you makes significantly more?
I make significantly more than my SO (>2x). I don’t think I would feel great watching her not be able to spend as discretionarily as I can. In some couples that would create tension.
College-Lumpy t1_j9vbfp6 wrote
Don’t think any one approach will work for all couples.
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Sad_Reason788 t1_j9vem4a wrote
This! Especially when theres always thatxchance for a divorce or thing start turning sour and tou need to get out always goid to keep some of your money set aside for yourself
yamaha2000us t1_j9vfndc wrote
OP has trust issues with their partner. Or does not have a partner as this LPT is not an LPT nor even financial advice.
Kyell t1_j9vgdaw wrote
I think it’s the other way around. Better to share money and work together then split and do your own thing. Seems like the opposite of what marriage is.
Timely_Victory_4680 t1_j9vgdyw wrote
Yup! It never even occurred to us to completely merge finances. We had a joint and two separate accounts even before getting married.
sighthoundman t1_j9vgxp9 wrote
I guess we're just communists. Everything is joint.
It helps that we started with no money.
GoldCoasting t1_j9vhjk6 wrote
crazy to think that getting to keep 10% of my own money is considered "the freedom to do whatever you want with YOUR money without having to explain" lol.
Assclown4 t1_j9vhvgb wrote
90 percent of income for bills. Sheesh y’all broke bois
pawsarecute t1_j9vmmyp wrote
Well im not rich, but holy, 90%…..
Emotional_Effect_426 t1_j9vip7m wrote
My ex earned below minimum wage, I got sick of paying for everything and stopped having joint savings account.
ShoelessJodi t1_j9vkgqj wrote
Hang out over on r/marriage. Every day there is a post with major relationship problems stemming from exactly this arrangement.
Edit to add: this gets extremely difficult when a couple has children and one partner becomes a primary care giver and it affects income.
The_Stein244 OP t1_j9vkpk1 wrote
Really? What are the problems? This is meant to alleviate any arguments about frivolous purchases
ShoelessJodi t1_j9w1vll wrote
Because employment status changes, family expenses increase, children are born, cars break, people get sick. Yes, In a happy marriage, you should be looking to be useful and supportive to your partner, but again, hang out on r/marriage and you'll see plenty of people who are not. So they fight over who has to pay and whether one partner should have to "lend money" to the other when they unexpectedly needed new tires.
I became the stay at home parent for 6 years. Thankfully I have a loving, supportive partner who values my self care more than I do. That's not the case for everyone.
deacon2323 t1_j9vlkkw wrote
I’d offer the reverse advice. If you find someone who truly trusts you and who you fully trust, you can share one account without conflict. Also, neither will care about income difference.
Bubbafett33 t1_j9vlru7 wrote
Completely disagree.
What happens if you do the math on child care costs for multiple kids, and decide someone's staying home while the other one works? They just don't get to buy anything? Or if there's a dramatic swing in earnings? "Sorry honey, I don't think you can afford this vacation, I'll see you when I get back".
I'm not suggesting planned "fun money" accounts/allowances are bad, I'm saying basing them off your earnings is a pretty crappy way to do it if you're a team.
ComradeFausto t1_j9vo69w wrote
I would never join my bank accounts together. We've been together for seven years, but 1. Neither of us needs to give the other a hard time for discretionary spending as long as our bills are paid and we're hitting savings goals. 2. I've had too many friends and even a family member get absolutely screwed by having joint finances and a spouse that decided they wanted out with little to no notice and messing with the money.
bluecheese2040 t1_j9utz5n wrote
Why have a joint bank account? In the uk many things can take half the requires money from 2 accounts. I've known alot of married couples and the joint account became a constant issue.
KingOfTerrible t1_j9uv9pd wrote
Easier for budgeting. Figure out how much you need to put in the joint account for bills, only use it for bills, don’t have to think about it anymore or worry if one of the accounts doesn’t have enough for whatever reason. Nothing to argue about unless one of you spends it how you’re not supposed to.
bluecheese2040 t1_j9ux3au wrote
Yeah...unless one spends it how it's not supposed to...no joking when. I read that the faces of 3 couples I know floated into my mind. Clearly it's horses for courses and there's no one size fits all
KingOfTerrible t1_j9uzwev wrote
If you can’t trust your spouse not to spend your rent money that’s a bigger issue than any bank account setup can solve.
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Amadeus_Narrates t1_j9vg2jy wrote
I really don't get the point of a joint account.
Husband/boyfriend has Account 1, wife/girlfriend has Account 2.
Example bill costs 100$.
Solution 1: I pay the full 100$ and my wife/girlfriend sends me the 50$ so we split 50/50.
Solution 2: She pays the full 100$ and I send her the 50$.
This is what my girlfriend and I have been doing for 4 years now. Is there something I'm not seeing?
KingOfTerrible t1_j9vkm6y wrote
If what you're doing works for you, then it's fine. There's no one right way to do it. It's not like it's a life changing thing but it just makes things a little easier imo.
The advantages I’ve personally had are:
- It helps with budgeting. Having a separate account ONLY for bills is handy, even if you're single. Figure out how much your bills are, put that amount in every month, and then you know your bills are covered and don't have worry about it, and can spend/save the money in your other accounts however you want without thinking about your bills. Obviously this depends on your income level, if you're both making so much (and have good enough spending habits!) that you never need to worry about it, then that's not necessarily a problem that needs solving.
- Don't have to keep track of who owes who. "I paid the water this month, you paid the power, so who owes who what now?" Sure the math's not complicated, but it's just one less thing to have to do.
- On that note, if you want to split things other than 50/50 due to income differences, it makes it more straightforward. Each person just contributes however much per month, and it all just gets paid from one big pot without worrying about splitting each individual bill.
- Putting all the bills under one account lets you review them and keep track of them more easily without having to go back and forth between each others' accounts.
- If you 're saving up for something big together, a joint savings account is a good way for you both to contribute, have access to, and have that money stay separate from your other money.
- Joint accounts automatically (usually, laws very by locality) go to the other account holder if the other one dies. No one likes to think about this, but it can happen. My wife died very unexpectedly at 31 and getting the money from her sole account has been a lengthy process involving lots of paperwork, even in my simple situation without kids or any other heirs or claimants. Meanwhile, I already had access to our joint account money and I could use it exactly like I could have before she died. Also, because none of the bills were paying from her account, I didn’t have to worry about that.
Amadeus_Narrates t1_j9xkg7s wrote
Thank you very much for the explanation and I'm sorry to hear about your wife. I can see now how they can be beneficial.
bluecheese2040 t1_j9vo0wg wrote
Spot on. Makes total sense to me
FilthyPout t1_j9v100q wrote
I can't believe people still do this with joint accounts! Feels so old fashioned. I mean, by all means have a joint account for bills, but 80-90%!?! Is that assuming really high costs and low income? I'd not want more than 30-50% going into a joint account
stoic_hysteric t1_j9v387k wrote
Wait, are we talking about roommates , or spouses? It sounds like you are talking about room mates.
adunk9 t1_j9v8atj wrote
I put 100% of my paycheck after savings (joint savings) into the joint account. She puts 100% of her check. We get an allowance every Friday. We're a couple, everything is shared. Also a huge income disparity between us means if I kept 50% of my income, I'd be pocketing more than her monthly take home. That is far from fair in a marriage.
everstrongza t1_j9uxbxg wrote
This is VERY bad advice lmao
Tribblehappy t1_j9uydy4 wrote
I think it's fine advice for some people.
ssevener t1_j9v0sqb wrote
Or you could just communicate and understand that you each have things you spend money on that doesn’t directly benefit the other person. If there’s a concern about one person overspending, that’s something you need to talk about as a couple.