Submitted by BuddyBear17 t3_xtwt0z in Maine
[removed]
Comments
BuddyBear17 OP t1_iqsdgyo wrote
Yeah. It's totally possible that they've got a phobia of brown folks - wouldn't be the first time that it's happened in my years in this state. Maybe you're one of them?
badhmorrigan t1_iqse6j6 wrote
Maybe, just maybe, that's how their faces look when they are just out and about. Also, maybe they don't owe anyone a smile or performative emtion.
Signed, Love my resting bitch face
sinspirational t1_iqseens wrote
Maybe because people are just living their lives? I personally love grocery shopping but I wouldn’t say that waiting in a checkout line brings me any joy.
New England also has a long cultural tradition of stoicism dating back to the puritans. Fortunately there’s no cultural expectation to act happy in public.
BuddyBear17 OP t1_iqsfnmb wrote
That is actually a super interesting and astute point on the tradition of cultural stocisim and how it manifests itself in daily interactions that I hadn't considered. Obviously it's not an exuberant and "talk with your hands" culture, but when you spend day in and day out around people who look just... vaguely unhappy, it can start to impact your own mood.
All of this predates COVID, inflation, etc so any attempt to pin it on that - no.
Just_Looking_Around8 t1_iqt3tbr wrote
But you're okay pinning it on racism?
BuddyBear17 OP t1_iqt6km9 wrote
I've had enough interactions here to know that a decent number of white Mainers are uncomfortable around POC. So some of the time? Sure. The downvotes are a great way of telling who's who.
Just_Looking_Around8 t1_iqtdz70 wrote
Seriously???
Not smiling at me while doing mundane tasks = Racist Downvoting me = Racist
Are there racists in many places across the country? Absolutely. But your criteria for classifying someone as a racist smacks of irony. You're accusing people of making judgments about you based on appearance. How is what you're doing any different?
Bywater t1_iqsmn8f wrote
That's just New England, Maine in particular. You are under no obligation to smile, make small talk or blow smoke up each others asses with stupid chatter while in line waiting for something. I love it, but I hate that fake shit so I am for sure biased.
Upstairs_Ad_4855 t1_iqtlh4y wrote
In my experience people are much more likely to be friendly, chat or wave here than in, say, NYC. That said, I hear women doesn’t like being told to smile more, so maybe don’t feel entitled to that I do find people are friendlier to me when I myself am smiling and friendly.
BuddyBear17 OP t1_iqsp7dd wrote
Is it fake? Or is it just a basic social nicety and lubricant that can make one's day just a tiny increment better and brighter?
Bywater t1_iqt0f94 wrote
It's fake. Presenting emotions that you do not feel to affect the emotions of others, even if it's to brighten their day, is disingenuous. Just get the "Mainer Nod" down, little reverse nod raise of the chin. Acknowledges that they are there respectfully without indulging in some small talk song and dance.
BuddyBear17 OP t1_iqt7pui wrote
This is where we part ways culturally, I think. But I do know a few ethnic Russians and other eastern Europeans who are just like this, and the "nod" + stoic facial expressions/mannerisms must be a cold climate European stock thing.
membaberry18 t1_iqsgr4q wrote
I mean have you been paying attention to the world lately?
Marshranger883 t1_iqsgp5j wrote
As a male, my face has also been scrutinized as being 'angry man face' or whatever the male equivalent to 'resting bitch face' is. I have heard "Are you a cop?" more than once. I want to be liked, most people do, so my personality evolved into being the jokester of my group probably to continually remind everyone that I'm not a dink, despite my facial emotions. I stand proud with my resting bitch faced counterparts.
Thickathanasnickaa t1_iqsrlm1 wrote
Do you go around with a big toothy smile plastered on your face everywhere you go? I think I’d find that more off putting than someone’s neutral face. People have shit to do and enough to worry about without being judged for not smiling everywhere we go.
DidDunMegasploded t1_iqsxmhl wrote
What's that phrase...um... "If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole." That it? Yeeeeeah. Maybe it's because I don't people-watch all that much but I hardly ever see people with RBF.
Anyway, why do you care so much? Let people live their lives. I have old-people face but people don't call me out for it, and I don't want them to, because I want to get the shit done that I need to and haul my ass right the fuck home.
ladyfromMaine t1_iqstqb6 wrote
Nobody here really feels the need to put on a fake smile wherever we go. Why smile when your doing basic tasks and not engaging other people? Plus, less smiles less wrinkles 🤣
800grandave t1_iqsyy88 wrote
awww are you not getting placated enough? dont people know they have to make you feel good?! the nerve of people
SouthernButterbean t1_iqsvzpy wrote
I call it my concentration face. Not paying attention to what's going on around me, deep thinking about something. Has nothing to do with anyone around me. And if I should glance your way, it has nothing to do with you. However, if I'm giving you the evil eye, look out!
kauaime t1_iqsy4gx wrote
TIL what RBF is. Now to unlearn.
iammabdaddy t1_iqsp75q wrote
Winter is coming. my guess is I may have RBF too.
BuddyBear17 OP t1_iqstwax wrote
It's seven months of the year here - maybe time for a winter activity/sport so you can stay engaged and have something to look forward to?
Actually - I think there's a whole lot of undiagnosed SAD in this state and region that kicks in for people around this time of year. A light box is literally life changing.
OurWhoresAreClean t1_iqskqcy wrote
I've noticed this too, but only in one specific setting: Natural food stores. I don't know what the deal is, places like Lois', Whole Foods, Royal River, or even Morning Glory up here in Brunswick are always filled with people who look like a bunch of bitter old crones standing in an East German breadline.
logcabinfarmgirl t1_iqsczdq wrote
Maybe that's just how women look when they're around you. Maybe you should smile more.