Maybe that's just how women look when they're around you. Maybe you should smile more.

Yeah. It's totally possible that they've got a phobia of brown folks - wouldn't be the first time that it's happened in my years in this state. Maybe you're one of them?

Maybe, just maybe, that's how their faces look when they are just out and about. Also, maybe they don't owe anyone a smile or performative emtion.

Signed, Love my resting bitch face

Maybe because people are just living their lives? I personally love grocery shopping but I wouldn’t say that waiting in a checkout line brings me any joy.

New England also has a long cultural tradition of stoicism dating back to the puritans. Fortunately there’s no cultural expectation to act happy in public.

That is actually a super interesting and astute point on the tradition of cultural stocisim and how it manifests itself in daily interactions that I hadn't considered. Obviously it's not an exuberant and "talk with your hands" culture, but when you spend day in and day out around people who look just... vaguely unhappy, it can start to impact your own mood.

All of this predates COVID, inflation, etc so any attempt to pin it on that - no.

As a male, my face has also been scrutinized as being 'angry man face' or whatever the male equivalent to 'resting bitch face' is. I have heard "Are you a cop?" more than once. I want to be liked, most people do, so my personality evolved into being the jokester of my group probably to continually remind everyone that I'm not a dink, despite my facial emotions. I stand proud with my resting bitch faced counterparts.

I mean have you been paying attention to the world lately?

I've noticed this too, but only in one specific setting: Natural food stores. I don't know what the deal is, places like Lois', Whole Foods, Royal River, or even Morning Glory up here in Brunswick are always filled with people who look like a bunch of bitter old crones standing in an East German breadline.

That's just New England, Maine in particular. You are under no obligation to smile, make small talk or blow smoke up each others asses with stupid chatter while in line waiting for something. I love it, but I hate that fake shit so I am for sure biased.

Winter is coming. my guess is I may have RBF too.

Is it fake? Or is it just a basic social nicety and lubricant that can make one's day just a tiny increment better and brighter?

Do you go around with a big toothy smile plastered on your face everywhere you go? I think I’d find that more off putting than someone’s neutral face. People have shit to do and enough to worry about without being judged for not smiling everywhere we go.

Nobody here really feels the need to put on a fake smile wherever we go. Why smile when your doing basic tasks and not engaging other people? Plus, less smiles less wrinkles 🤣

It's seven months of the year here - maybe time for a winter activity/sport so you can stay engaged and have something to look forward to?

Actually - I think there's a whole lot of undiagnosed SAD in this state and region that kicks in for people around this time of year. A light box is literally life changing.

I call it my concentration face. Not paying attention to what's going on around me, deep thinking about something. Has nothing to do with anyone around me. And if I should glance your way, it has nothing to do with you. However, if I'm giving you the evil eye, look out!

What's that phrase...um... "If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole." That it? Yeeeeeah. Maybe it's because I don't people-watch all that much but I hardly ever see people with RBF.

Anyway, why do you care so much? Let people live their lives. I have old-people face but people don't call me out for it, and I don't want them to, because I want to get the shit done that I need to and haul my ass right the fuck home.

TIL what RBF is. Now to unlearn.

awww are you not getting placated enough? dont people know they have to make you feel good?! the nerve of people

It's fake. Presenting emotions that you do not feel to affect the emotions of others, even if it's to brighten their day, is disingenuous. Just get the "Mainer Nod" down, little reverse nod raise of the chin. Acknowledges that they are there respectfully without indulging in some small talk song and dance.

But you're okay pinning it on racism?

I've had enough interactions here to know that a decent number of white Mainers are uncomfortable around POC. So some of the time? Sure. The downvotes are a great way of telling who's who.

This is where we part ways culturally, I think. But I do know a few ethnic Russians and other eastern Europeans who are just like this, and the "nod" + stoic facial expressions/mannerisms must be a cold climate European stock thing.

Seriously???

Not smiling at me while doing mundane tasks = Racist Downvoting me = Racist

Are there racists in many places across the country? Absolutely. But your criteria for classifying someone as a racist smacks of irony. You're accusing people of making judgments about you based on appearance. How is what you're doing any different?

In my experience people are much more likely to be friendly, chat or wave here than in, say, NYC. That said, I hear women doesn’t like being told to smile more, so maybe don’t feel entitled to that I do find people are friendlier to me when I myself am smiling and friendly.