Hey OP, I kinda hate myself too. I got my license at 28 after failing my permit test a bunch of times and failing the exam once. But I did it. And I hate myself kinda less now. Now when I’m stuck in that endless loop, I can drive myself to a mountain to hike or to the ocean or, most frequently, Target. I’m not stuck in one place anymore, I can go anywhere, whenever I want. Take a breather, collect yourself, you can do this. The freedom you will feel once you pass is worth it, don’t give up on yourself