Feel safe

Submitted by Kazbob48 t3_zzhiin in Maine

Down vote as wanted. I have lived here 6 months

I am from away.

Last night I stopped and helped a guy jump his car at 1am. No fear, no second thoughts.

The bro literally gave me hug.

You guys are something else

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siebzy t1_j2bmau8 wrote

Fear is the mind-killer.

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Wald0_17 t1_j2bmo0d wrote

Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

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death_witch t1_j2d97zx wrote

Just so you know "little death" is a French term often used to describe an orgasm.

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Wald0_17 t1_j2dkw83 wrote

I imagine Frank Herbert knew that. Actually, I think the two words were hyphenated in the book.

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Kazbob48 OP t1_j2bmpfg wrote

Bro had a pit bull. I would have driven them both home.

But I will tell you outside of maine that would not have happened

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siebzy t1_j2bnc85 wrote

I've lived in six states and I can say with 100% certainty that I would have stopped in every single one.

Maine is great and all but it's not some unique paradise.

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dedoubt t1_j2c139g wrote

>I would have stopped in every single one.

Yeah, I have stopped to help people in a bunch of states, even as a woman alone. Most people are decent humans.

Once I stopped to pick up a hitchhiker near the narrows bridge. Big bushy beard, didn't know him, but I could tell he was super young and if it was one of my kids I would hope somebody would stop. He got to the door and we both did a cartoonish double take because he was a kid I had let live with me years before when he was kicked out of his house as a teen (he didn't have a beard then ha ha).

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SmellsofElderberry25 t1_j2c6fu1 wrote

You’re just a good human being.

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MaineBlonde t1_j2cemjc wrote

This is so unsafe. Please don't make it sound like women should be stopping to help strangers, as that can be tremendously dangerous.

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dedoubt t1_j2chiq1 wrote

I'm 52 years old, I've lived all over the place and have helped a lot of people. Please don't make it sound like it's never safe for women to use their best judgement about whether they should help someone in need. (Or accept help when it's needed.)

And I'm coming from the perspective of someone who was brutally abused growing up, but I still choose to believe most people are good. I'm also not an idiot, I don't endanger myself. Women are capable of taking care of themselves and don't need to go through their lives feeling like potential victims. That's some bad juju to draw to themselves.

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vgallant t1_j2dhzbl wrote

Same here, I've picked up so many hitchhikers in maine, and it usually turns out we have mutual friends or know the same people. One guy was walking from the lobster boat in Thomaston to bucksport, he was walking in searsport when I picked him up and took him to the Verona Bridge.

I've never had a single issue with any of them. I'd say maybe 20 people over the last 15years. They have all just been so happy to have a ride and get off their feet. My husband hates it only because I'm a woman, but he also knows I'm perfectly capable of handling myself and survived before he came around.

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MaineBlonde t1_j2diweo wrote

I'm sorry, but this is wildly naive. I'm happy that you've never had a problem, but its still incredibly dangerous. There are ways to help people without inviting them into your car or putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

You can have great experiences for years and you only need one person who isn't a good person to hurt you, potentially irreparably. And if you want to risk yourself then fine, but don't romanticize it for other women. There's a difference between being scared and smart, and it's good for women to be smart.

Also, being a woman who can hold her own in daily life doesn't mean you can fight off an attacker with a weapon. I get a lot of "sassy Maine woman" vibes out of a lot of these posts and you're likely screwed if someone pulls a knife or gun on you.

Make yourself an easy mark, but please don't encourage other women to do so. And im sorry you were abused, but that won't save you either it someone wants to hurt you now. Over-trusting is not a badge of honor.

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dedoubt t1_j2dz4do wrote

>Make yourself an easy mark,

That's just a gross thing to say.

You're so sure you're right, you've made a bunch of assumptions and insulted me repeatedly. Try to understand that people have different ways of living their lives, and being different from you isn't being wrong.

>but please don't encourage other women to do so.

Nothing I wrote is encouraging other women to do the same. I'm talking about my life, my experiences and using my judgement in situations. I have many female friends who go through life the same way I do and they also have no problems.

I'm sorry you feel so much fear in your day to day life, but most people are good and I'm going to continue helping my fellow humans.

>And im sorry you were abused, but that won't save you either it someone wants to hurt you now.

??? Eeeww. Who said anything about the abuse I went through "saving" me in any way? I mentioned it to point out that even though I have good reason not to trust people, I still am able to recognize that most people are not a threat to me.

>I get a lot of "sassy Maine woman" vibes out of a lot of these posts

What a shitty way to put down the women of Maine.

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MaineBlonde t1_j2f22kq wrote

Nah, just putting you down. Most Maine women aren't stupid enough to let strangers in their car. But good luck with all that.

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dedoubt t1_j2f5cpq wrote

>Nah, just putting you down. Most Maine women aren't stupid enough to let strangers in their car. But good luck with all that.

​

Wow, you're super nice. Thanks so much for making the world a better place!

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sirgoofs t1_j2dat8c wrote

A lot of things are risky… heck getting into your car and driving anywhere poses a real risk of death or injury, but we do it, even if it’s just to go get tacos. There’s always a risk/benefit ratio to analyze for each individual, and sometimes helping someone out is worth the obvious risks.

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dedoubt t1_j2ce8ow wrote

Aww, thanks! I try. Maybe it makes up for the times I'm a total dick.

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tamman2000 t1_j2c36ac wrote

Same, but 5. Drove an old dude (and his dogs) who wrecked his truck 30 miles out of the desert in California. There was no cell service where he wrecked either...

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hike_me t1_j2fc5tx wrote

When I was in college I broke down on the interstate near Newport. Didn’t have a cell at the time. Only person that stopped to help me was a dude from Massachusetts. A bunch of Mainers drove right by.

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TheMrGUnit t1_j2bum8z wrote

  1. Welcome to Maine. It's the way life should be.

  2. Thanks for doing your part to make Maine the way life should be.

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Psychological-Bear-9 t1_j2c30m7 wrote

It is wild how different Maine is from a lot of places. I remember when I lived out west for a while, I saw a woman on the side of the road with her car at night. Had a friend who was local, born and raised, with me. I go to slow down. He looks at me.

"What are you doing?"

"Stopping to see if she needs help."

"So we can get robbed and murdered by some gangbangers hiding in the shadows? Keep fucking driving, you aren't in Kansas anymore."

Come to find out that type of stuff was really common in that area and there was a good chance with this situation that she was a lure. I remember him giving me the low down on shit to look out for and avoid. 23 year old Mainer at the time I thought I knew some things but didn't he prove me wrong.

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010kindsofpeople t1_j2cheev wrote

I'm from a shitty neighborhood in California originally. I obsessively lock my house and car doors, even if only leaving for a moment. My Mainer friends think it's weird. Can't take the Slater Slums outta this boy.

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dedoubt t1_j2ciss1 wrote

You have house keys???

I always have to remind myself to lock my car when I visit family in NH. Even in their small town, my car would be empty by morning.

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010kindsofpeople t1_j2ckfl4 wrote

I actually drilled my doors for deadbolts when I bought my house. I couldn't imagine not having deadbolts with big strike plates and long long screws into reenforced studs. I know, it's silly, but I've done this on every place I've lived. It's been a great list: LA, NYC, Oakland, Baltimore... Heh

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MAD_WRX t1_j2dvuql wrote

One of the 1st things I did when I bought my house.

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t2ktill t1_j2dzz3j wrote

Holey shit i did exactly the same grew up in boston and providence. Lmfao

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curtludwig t1_j2dgy9w wrote

Don't keep anything of value in your car. A broken window in a car sucks forever

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Antnee83 t1_j2d6chg wrote

For me (grew up in detroit) it was seeing bikes casually left in people's front yards. That shit does NOT happen there. Ganked in an instant.

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Psychological-Bear-9 t1_j2dng2g wrote

Man, I can't tell you how often people poke fun at me for constantly locking my car and apartment out of habit after it being a necessity for about four years. I could be at a friends house in the middle of the woods, or running into a gas station for five minutes, and it's still getting locked to this day.

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DidDunMegasploded t1_j2dy6ux wrote

I was raised in NJ for 3 years, been in Maine for over 20. I have family that works in law. It was just common sense to keep our doors locked at all times. Can't really trust anyone around here, especially nowadays.

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Shilo788 t1_j2fvy5h wrote

Yet I lived in NJ ,PA and Maine in small towns and had to look for the keys when I sold my houses as we never used them.except when we went on vacation for weeks. Each area has its on character.

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saintalvis t1_j2euk8q wrote

Not uncommon to see cars running at gas stations or supermarkets and people get food or shoot the shit.

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BostonFoliage t1_j2eay11 wrote

Maine is the safest and also the whitest state in the nation.

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UniqueWhittyName t1_j2eozsi wrote

Correlation does not equal causation

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JAP42 t1_j2era2z wrote

50 correlations gives more credence to the assumption

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fluffywooly t1_j2c4cke wrote

Coming from a 3rd world country and living in Maine for 4 yr while at UMO shattered my worldview of being defensive and not even being able to pull out my phone out on the street. Maine is high-trust society utopia.

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DidDunMegasploded t1_j2brk1p wrote

Good for you. Just don't lose common sense and stay safe, mkay? Maine may be a low-crime state but that doesn't mean we don't have our crazies. Even if they come in the form of "needing a car jumpstarted at 1am but really they're going to abduct you".

Common sense is a good virtue to have. Sadly, not a lot of people have it.

Oh yeah, and a belated welcome to Maine, too!

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DaytonaDemon t1_j2cv67s wrote

>Even if they come in the form of "needing a car jumpstarted at 1am but really they're going to abduct you".

Happened to me about four, five years ago. Mount Desert Island, super-frigid winter night. It's something like 3:30 a.m. and I've fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV. There's a sudden knock on my front door. Bro says his battery died, would I give him a jump start? He points to his car over on the other side of the road.

I'm groggy but have just enough presence of mind to notice that his blinkers are on. So, not a dead battery then. Hmm.

I ask him to hold on while I pretend to get dressed but I'm already on the phone with the cops. They arrive four or five minutes later (I'm impressed), and ask him some questions and detain him. I watch them remove a long gun from his car.

Later I learn he had a handgun that the police also confiscated.

Who knows what his intention were. Maybe he was harmless and it was all some misunderstanding, but yeah, it spooked me a little. Not enough to barricade my doors or even lock my cars. It's absolutely true that Maine is a comparatively super-safe state, and I love that. Still: stay alert people, and stay safe.

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wmansir t1_j2dh2o4 wrote

FYI, a battery can still have plenty of power for lights etc, but not enough to crank the engine enough to start the car. A weak battery usually becomes evident when it is cold because the cold reduces the batteries performance and a cold engine is harder to turn over.

But it's still suspicious to have a stranger come to your door that late for a jump. A weak battery isn't going to cause a running car to break down on the side of the road.

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DaytonaDemon t1_j2eb6c4 wrote

>A weak battery isn't going to cause a running car to break down on the side of the road.

Exactly this. That was my thinking. There's no proper/legal place to park on either side of the road where I live, so I knew that he hadn't parked the car, visited a neighbor for a few hours, and came back to a dead battery.

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cheryltuntsocelot t1_j2ehsa4 wrote

A guy i went to high school with was shot (in Maine) trying to pull this scam. He knocked on the door of a known drug dealer 🤦🏼‍♀️

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DaytonaDemon t1_j2emsx0 wrote

What was the scam? What did he have in mind?

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cheryltuntsocelot t1_j2evlcp wrote

Had his girlfriend knock on the door claiming their car crashed, homeowner came to the door with a gun and they jumped him. Homeowner shot the guy and killed him. https://www.bangordailynews.com/2010/12/20/news/affidavit-eastbrook-shooting-victim-armed-with-gun/

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yupuhoh t1_j2boif4 wrote

Why would you get downvoted? This is what makes states like ours great

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Kazbob48 OP t1_j2boqpi wrote

I am from away.

I had a guy at a bar lose his shit

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Know_more_carry_less t1_j2bpcew wrote

Where was the last place he saw it?

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Kazbob48 OP t1_j2bq0i9 wrote

I'm not quite sure what you mean, but the clearance aisle Vin Diesel made it clear the Kittery crowd doesn't like outsiders

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Ok-Area-9271 t1_j2bqrsp wrote

Kittery crowd!?! At least half the people living there are from away and 90% of their economy relies on tourists. That guy is a 🤡

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TraditionalPiccolo28 t1_j2bqw1p wrote

We don't like outsiders that think they are better than us and want to change everything. We're not the types to chat you up. Here's the but- if you appreciate Maine for the way things are and contribute to the community "clearance isle Vin Diesel" is 100% wrong. We may not all hug you and you'll get some razzing for being from away but we'll accept and welcome you. Just don't left lane sit, bub lol

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Kazbob48 OP t1_j2brnil wrote

Bub was a fascist pretending to be a catholic.

The confusion between religion and philosophy 🤣

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DaytonaDemon t1_j2cvycr wrote

>a fascist pretending to be a catholic

There's not necessarily a contradiction there. People can be both. Exhibit A. Exhibit B. Many more.

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WikiSummarizerBot t1_j2cvzn2 wrote

Francisco Franco

Political repression

>According to Preston's estimates, Franco's forces killed about 420,000 Spaniards in the theatre of war, through extrajudicial killings during the Civil War, and in state executions immediately following its end in 1939. The first decade of Franco's rule following its end saw continued repression and the killing of an undetermined number of political opponents. In 1941 the prison population of Spain was 233,000, mostly political prisoners.

^([ )^(F.A.Q)^( | )^(Opt Out)^( | )^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)^( | )^(GitHub)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)

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londonphase t1_j2btfab wrote

Portsmouth NH to Saco is basically just Greater Massachusetts. Casco Bay is where Maine starts.

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crowislanddive t1_j2dte3u wrote

You nailed it with identifying the fascism. The proud boys etc are all over Kittery for some reason.

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Technical-Role-4346 t1_j2brd1w wrote

"I am from away.

I had a guy piece of shit at a bar trying to prove he was a man."

The few assholes are the ones people notice first and remember.

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karenrn64 t1_j2ch26d wrote

I am an old lady who walks 6 miles through rural areas in Maine without fear anytime. I know I would not do the same in many other places. I have mat an awful lot of nice people on my walks and so far, no jerks.

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DiscoRichard t1_j2cdczu wrote

I’m from away as well. I always tell people that one of the best qualities of Maine is that it’s residents genuinely want to help you.

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Shilo788 t1_j2fw382 wrote

But will be clear they are passed off if you did something stupid to need that help.

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Literallydead_1 t1_j2bqocg wrote

Things like this are what I missed the most when I moved to AZ. I lasted a year out there. Mainer fo' life.

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eigenstien t1_j2c9lxk wrote

Maine: the way life should be. I once had a drunk as a skunk neighbor run a chain and haul my car off an icy camp road. With a big grin, he refused any compensation and went on his merry way. We help our neighbors and in this state, everyone can be a neighbor.

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Kaiser-Bismark t1_j2e7i6t wrote

No not the drunk Good Samaritans and civil servants a classic in Maine.

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iammabdaddy t1_j2br1m9 wrote

Im glad you feel this well here. I hope it continues.

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Prestigious_Peach781 t1_j2bxvgw wrote

I respect the “from away” but I agree about Maine- I feel safe with nearly everyone. I’m liberal because I care about…people and the environment we are fucking up- Maine conservative is very different from other places. Core values.

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X-Aceris-X t1_j2c4qag wrote

Are you a man or woman? As a woman I would not feel at all comfortable helping, which is sad but true. I'd like to be able to be friendly and help out, but the risks are way too high, regardless of what town or state or country you're in.

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sjm294 t1_j2ctzrf wrote

I’m a woman and I always help other women.

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oldncrusty68 t1_j2d9f6v wrote

Maine is holding on tight to it’s culture of being a safe place. It’s probably why we have such a distaste from people from away. Especially Massachusetts lol. Mainers secretly know that moving north is the future

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ProfessorMandark t1_j2dflu7 wrote

I came from Southern California, a fairly decent neighborhood, where we couldn't leave ANYTHING outside of our home. We had bikes, scooters, toys, a freaking chiminea all stolen from our yard. I currently don't even have a house key on my keys because we never lock it and I leave my keys in my car when I go into a store.

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ptmtp26 t1_j2cc9v3 wrote

A nice guy doing a neighborly thing. You’re alright.

Welcome to Maine.

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wintersicyblast t1_j2bxnfb wrote

Maine is great-my family lives there...but dont be gullible either! No place is crime free :)

I'm glad you like it-I always find friendly people when I visit.

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DaisyLouD t1_j2c14y6 wrote

Fear and second thoughts are important survival mechanisms

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bigbluedoor t1_j2e0t1h wrote

sure but Americans are increasingly paranoid and antisocial. cable news and the internet have poisoned their understanding of the world.

Every year polled Americans say crime is rising but (despite the recent modest spike) it’s been trending downward for decades.

Fear and second thought are okay within reason, but you shouldn’t let it dominate you, or it’ll prevent you from leading an outgoing, community focused life, and it will steer you towards reactionary politics

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[deleted] t1_j2cdeg1 wrote

I was in Lewiston/Auburn one night working. Stopped at that Irving near the turnpike. Had a crackhead with a watch on bang on my window and ask me for the time. Only time I’ve felt unsafe in Maine.

But I told him to fuck off and moved my truck and then went into the gas station. So I guess it’s not terrible here.

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Weird-Tomorrow-9829 t1_j2ey421 wrote

I once picked up a guy, very disheveled, on Route 9 in Eddington. Guy was walking back from his release from Eastern Maine. He was walking to Calais.

Good guy.

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Total_Diligent t1_j2c8pqg wrote

I miss feeling safe! Currently in a southern state, can’t wait to be back!

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zoolilba t1_j2d5hcy wrote

Maine is actually a pretty good place when you really think about it. How many times I've done things that I wouldn't think of doing in other states or Cities like leaving my car unlocked, when I take my car to the garage sometimes I pay the bill over the phone and the mechanic will leave the keys hidden in the car so I can pick it up after they are closed. I don't know if there are many places you could do something like that.

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gettingcrunkontea t1_j2c83sy wrote

Fellow from awayer and same! I can walk my dog in my own neighborhood without fear even at night! I love it here!

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msaint t1_j2dbta9 wrote

Are you sure it wasn't a ghost?

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rich6490 t1_j2e21qr wrote

This is normal, nice to see a good post here!

So many people only bring attention to negative things about Maine (or anything else) on Reddit.

Maine is awesome and the people on average are MUCH kinder and more welcoming than any state I have been to.

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WorldWideDarts t1_j2bxgma wrote

You just haven't met the right people on your late night outings

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dedoubt t1_j2c22ub wrote

Ha ha ha, had to go all the way back to 1806 to manage to get a handful of Maine multiple murderers.

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Astropwr t1_j2e4wnd wrote

I’m from Louisiana that will be moving to Maine and the difference in terms of safety is astounding. I’m from Baton Rouge and when I was there, I’m always paranoid that I keep my car and my apartment locked all the time with pepper spray and taser in my purse. And also hoping I don’t get shot too.

Here in Maine when I stay for holidays when I’m not in college, my partner looked at me weirdly about him not locking his doors. It is safer here in Maine 100 times compared to Baton Rouge. I’m glad I’m moving out of there for good in a few months with all my stuff.

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Kaiser-Bismark t1_j2e7pon wrote

All the stories about unsafe is in central/ southern maine no shocker.

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dorkahontas86 t1_j2egfqf wrote

I have lived in Maine my whole life and traveled outside of it plenty of times. I do feel we are a bit better when it comes to our overall safety as well as good natured residents, however there are still crimes here and you should always keep your instincts in check.

I live in a bigger city here and one day leaving my apartment there was a man bleeding out in the street near a barber shop, he had been stabbed by someone else over an affair. It was pretty shocking as it was my first experience with something like this. Come to find out it was people from out of state just up here visiting and when I look into the worst of crime in our cities most are drug related and most involve people from here getting wrapped up with other states criminals, especially NH, MA and CT.

There are other instances where we get alerts of people trying to lure people from parking lots stating they need help but come to find out they were most likely involved in human trafficking.

All that being said I do feel that those are very low instances in comparison to other states but we also have smaller population and very quickly you can go from a city and bam you are in the middle of nowhere haha. We luck out in those regards.

Maine folk really are good people, we are big on helping others but also don't bother us we won't bother you. It really is the way life should be :)

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Freeman0032 t1_j2f5zqv wrote

im assuming your a white male?

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cuntlicker90210 t1_j2eaku4 wrote

This state will be just as unsafe as the others soon if people keep moving here

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matt9191 t1_j2fn582 wrote

Only the lawbreakers will move to Maine?

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cuntlicker90210 t1_j2fw7ym wrote

More of a population thing small towns are way safer then big citys, hell as soon as you exit nh you start seeing bars on windows and 7-11 workers behind bullet proof glass

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matt9191 t1_j2fxgzw wrote

How many people would need to move here to turn the small towns into big cities? LOTS of them.

Just saying I think it's unlikely we'll see any effect on crime which can be fairly attributed to in migration.

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[deleted] t1_j2c1zit wrote

[deleted]

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Strict-Lake5255 t1_j2c6sxf wrote

Could lead to others doing more decent things after reading about decent thing doer feeling gooder

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Antnee83 t1_j2d6oli wrote

There's actually some studies about this, and it's not at all clear.

One even came to the conclusion that consuming "charity" content like this can trigger the part of your brain that rewards you (rewards, not motivates) for doing altruistic things, making you less likely to actually do those things.

In the same vein: You know when you have a hobby, and then you spin up a grand project from that hobby? Don't ever tell anyone you're doing it, and you have a much higher chance of finishing it. It's the same trigger. You tell someone about your project, your brain rewards you as if you've done the project.

Brains are silly.

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[deleted] t1_j2c70b0 wrote

[deleted]

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Lieutenant_Joe t1_j2ddydq wrote

Look, man, I’ve been to a lot of places in this world in my short life. It may not be some sort of idyllic utopia to you, but the fact that people can just do stuff like this here and not expect it to go wrong most of the time is a pipe dream for many Americans who live anywhere outside of Maine and Vermont. Like, some would never even consider it a real possibility for society to get to that level of trust. If OP told this story to someone who’s never left the Midwest, they might not even believe it.

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MaryBitchards t1_j2bzhor wrote

As a woman, I couldn't agree more. I mean, what could possibly happen? I sit outside topless with open shopping bags full of cash all night every night in Portland, because fuck fear! To me, it's not a real Friday night til I've licked Fentanyl dust off every surface in Bayside. Am I intimidated? FUCK NO. I do Rolling Yoga every Sunday morning in Deering Oaks Park. Rock on, OP! With you all the way and shaming people just makes it more fun.

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