Not to diminish your insights, but I take it you are relatively young? How much mileage do you have in your journey that you can be so supremely confident in your complete understanding of what you are and are not capable of? Surely you have decades of growth ahead of you, where you will accomplish things you never imagined possible, no?

And while your abilities as you see them now may bring you pride, are they allowing you to earn a comfortable living? It seems you have anxiety over your ability to provide for yourself, and over societie's ability, or willingness to provide FOR you; perhaps your energies would be better invested elsewhere if your current choices have not led to the stability and fulfillment you desire?