You should get a jacked up, 1-ton, Ram quad-cab 4WD, with a long bed.
That seems to be the go-to solution for all the phallically-challenged individuals in my area.

Make sure you get the optional wall of lights across the entire front too.
Blinding the shit out of all of us Miata drivers, before you pass, is an essential part of successfully hiding your teeny weenie from the public.