How to deal with angry difficult musician?

Submitted by IllWithThought t3_ye0ov6 in Music

My roommate and I are both guitar players. He has more experience playing guitar than I do, so he is always trying to show me stuff; but poorly with no explanation. He just says it's easy and gets mad; everytime I pick up my guitar he has to grab his too to play over me. I just want to practice and he puts me down saying I have no rhythm and stop playing that chord. Everytime I play a song I've learned/learning he has to take over saying I'm playing it wrong, even though I know I'm not. I don't know how to deal with this. I'm just trying to practice and he can't stand it. He also accuses me of over playing his playing, even though I'm not trying to jam with him I just want to practice. He even turned off my amp one time and said I can't do it. He treats me like I have no musical taste even though we listen to the same music. Not really sure how I should deal with this. He's not open to conversation about it. He's trying to get me to give up on music.

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BunkytheClown t1_itv6bjb wrote

Get a pair of headphones to practise with, and every time — every time — he interrupts you tell him to fuck off and let you practise.

Edit: I just realized you could play acoustic, and my headphone suggestion wouldn't be helpful. But do the rest anyway.

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No-Professional-1884 t1_itvz4vj wrote

Even if it’s acoustic wear the headphones anyway. Unplugged. Really fuck with them.

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10fingers6strings t1_itv5qr7 wrote

Musicians are some of the most insecure people ever.

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curatorpsyonicpark t1_itv9j5z wrote

In short tell him to fuck off.

More detailed answer one, he is not you. Two, developing your own voice and style requires you to, (not be in rhythm, use wrong chord and fucking play differently than him.)

And if he's criticizing you for 'doing it wrong' tell him I want to do it that way and you could give to shits about his fucking opinion. Tell him, keep it to himself, he's not your parent, your teacher or your fucking mom.

FInally tell the little bitch to put on headphones if he can't control his grade school outbursts.

You have a right and hell a responsibility to be exactly where you are at and enjoy the journey. Not mentally fucked by some insecure controlling bitch trying to project himself onto you.

Fuck that noise.

You have a right, dare I say a responsibility to freely learn your way and in your time.

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IllWithThought OP t1_itvr92w wrote

Thanks I appreciate what you're saying. I will definitely tell him to sniff a choda.

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EmptyTh0ughts t1_itv92g4 wrote

Sounds like he'd be an asshole even if he wasn't a musician.

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Traditional-Bad-2627 t1_itv92z3 wrote

That is a shitty person you live with. I personally would never call someone like that a friend. If you have your own room then get a lock for your door. Go in your room lock it and play and practice whatever and however you want. Him being like that would motivation enough to get better and blow him off stage. Then give him his own medicine. Tell him how much he sucks. Next time he plays a song tell him it sounds wrong everytime

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IllWithThought OP t1_itvzpxk wrote

I shouldn't have to lock myself away because he's being an asshole. And yeah I don't get motivated by spite, that's just not who I am.

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aidenrosenb t1_itv8j8n wrote

Tell ‘em to fuck off. Find a real teacher if you want to learn more. Just because you are good don’t mean you can teach

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Nameless_Ghoultarist t1_itv8zn8 wrote

Do the same to him. Find whatever song he plays a lot, look it up on YouTube until you find someone else playing it differently than him then tell him he doesn’t know how to play and shut off his amp. Might cause a freak out the first time until he realizes you’re just showing him his hypocrisy.

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Scat1320USA t1_itvc1uj wrote

Tell him to fuck off and rip out twenty minutes of louis louis !!!

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IllWithThought OP t1_itvx519 wrote

Lmao yes

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Scat1320USA t1_itvxcpn wrote

That’s what Iggy did to a crowd that threw shit at him .. 20 minutes of louis louis oh baby we gotta go !

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jfhjjfgjj t1_itvws46 wrote

If he is acting like that it’s probably because he’s not that good, and he’s insecure about it. People who can really play don’t act like that. They are willing to explain things, and they will encourage beginners.

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IllWithThought OP t1_itvy6wi wrote

He's very talented. But he lacks creativity, and I write all my own original stuff, so I'm guessing he's getting jealous, which is ridiculous in my eyes because he knows more music theory and techniques than I do. But yeah I agree that skilled players should have those qualities, but this one definitely doesn't.

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jfhjjfgjj t1_itw24jz wrote

Trust me, I’ve been playing guitar my whole life and professionally since college. Cats who can REALLY play at a high level would never put down a beginner. and they are almost always open with their knowledge. They don’t have to tell you how great they are, because their music does that for them. This dude ain’t shit. I’d just focus on your own progress and don’t pay his comments any mind. Make your sword a little sharper each day and you’ll be playing circles around Mr. know it all.

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FrolfLarper t1_itvn6k3 wrote

Since it’s not here yet, move out. That guy’s a toxic piece of shit.

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IllWithThought OP t1_itvxdqr wrote

I know I have been working on that, but rent is super cheap here. It's 400 a month all inclusive. So it's hard finding something that can beat that price in these times.

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qdhauahd t1_itvx1ms wrote

Easiest way is to not deal with him. Tell him to fuck off, and that you don't want his feedback, and not to touch your shit again. If he has an issue with playing at the practicing at the same time, set times where each of you is allowed to practice. Your roommate sounds extremely insecure and immature, I'd keep an eye on my gear but you gotta just tell him to fuck off. No one needs destructive criticism when they're just trying to get better or learn.

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IllWithThought OP t1_itvyu7r wrote

Thanks man I appreciate your words. And in his defense he doesn't touch my gear without asking first. And yes he is basically a man child.

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cchele08 t1_itwmyr2 wrote

Surely you are home sometimes when he's not? Practice then. Get really good. Maybe he'll think you gave up and then you can blow his mind

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Minimum-Doughnut7523 t1_itxi4mo wrote

Sounds like "artists differences ". Find someone that you gel with and can jam with. The last dude I knew like that is almost 60 and still trying to make it. You know your strengths. Don't let this dude or anyone ever make you give up music! Screw this cat! Let him find someone else to abuse. Unless he's in some rich and popular band, who gives af what his opinion is.

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wargunindrawer t1_ityxamb wrote

i'm gonna go with the popular; "tell him to fuck off" approach. Music is not a competition. He sounds like a douche and you need to get away and just spend some enjoyable time with your guitar.

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marinekai t1_ityz8di wrote

Sounds like something you'd ask in r/relationships. But honestly, I'd just move out 🤣 he's an asshole

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IllWithThought OP t1_itzzkbt wrote

I know, but it's music related. And yeah already have been working on moving out.

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marinekai t1_iu1t3cq wrote

Honestly it just sounds like he's insecure and worried you'll be better than him if he lets you practice. I wouldn't be surprised

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justanastral t1_itw2q76 wrote

Tell him you took his advice and will stop playing music and start practicing animal calls instead.

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TheJacksquatch1992 t1_itwm5qu wrote

This is a textbook example of a raging egomaniac. Tell him to go take a fucking hike. You don't need toxic people like that in your life... or your band.

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