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Offthepoint t1_ixjtmmn wrote

Do some research on famous musicians who got kicked out of their bands. You are in some great company. As for your (former) bandmates, I'd write back to them and ask them to be honest about what wasn't gelling with you and them. Then get back on the horse and find another band looking for someone like you. Good luck.

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death91380 t1_ixju5of wrote

You should respond and ask for honesty/clarity so you can avoid making the same mistake in the future. Maybe they will tell you. Could be anything from you don't sync with them creatively to you don't bathe enough. You don't know til you ask. If you really are a good musician and a team player, it shouldn't be hard to find another gig.

As far as the social aspect goes, that sucks but being in a band is a business. Friendships are only as good as the strength of the business. I've always had a robust social life outside of music. Not all my eggs in one basket as they say.

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cynical_genx_man t1_ixjunoa wrote

Hey, this may sting but then again if the band wasn't gelling then there's not much you can do. In a band personality and fit are pretty important.

I get why you're beaked about this, but you need to just accept it without searching for the 'why' because the answer is never one you want.

It's just like a romantic thing -- if the others aren't feeling it you may not like it but you have to accept it.

Just keep moving forward and you'll be fine.

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lowfreq33 t1_ixjuvn0 wrote

It happens, and you just move on. I’ve been fired from bands, I’ve had to fire people too. I’ve been playing music for a long, long time, and I’m still doing it. Just think of it as a learning experience. You’ll take the things you learned from this to your next project.

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Rellgidkrid t1_ixjvfh0 wrote

That was actually a super nice text, all things considered. I feel badly for you as it never feels good to get “fired” from anything, but I feel they handled it pretty respectfully (albeit over text, but sometimes it’s easier just to put it all in writing so that emotions and blame game don’t take over).

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Rasta-Grandpa t1_ixjwizg wrote

I feel like they are either not coming out and saying what the real deal was, or they think that they are all better than me (which according to others is really not true, I enhanced them)

I feel slighted right before thanksgiving and I’m not petty but they seem pretty self centered if you ask me. Especially without the balls to tell me in person

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Rasta-Grandpa t1_ixjwntj wrote

Is there a good way to achieve this? I was able to make friends via mutuals of theirs, but it just feels weird now.

I too had a great social life at one point, but then after college everyone went different places to just do their own thing

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Stacy_Ann_ t1_ixjwwma wrote

I'm sorry this happened. I know it feels bad. I've had my own music and participation in playing it rejected by a few friends now. It sucks. Sometimes people just aren't into music in the same way even if they relate well otherwise.

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ThrownAwayRealGood t1_ixjwzb3 wrote

I’ve only been in one band and not for long either (similar situation, joined a duo to expand to a trio) and it made me realize solo stuff’s gotta be the #1. Personally speaking, I just tried to get my solo stuff so good, people would just be interested in contributing, which… I haven’t exactly been successful at, but the thought process is, it provides examples I can produce finished, quality material, and shows what I excel at, should anyone hear it and either want me to contribute something to them or if they want to contribute something this way.

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Artistic_Position_53 t1_ixjxbc1 wrote

WTF ever. They obviously suck. Music should not be about social political BS. Just cut them off and move on. maybe they can be an opening act for your new band later down the line. Cheers

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Gheist009 t1_ixjxxpm wrote

This email/text didn't seem particularly vague to me? Also, doesn't seem like there is any anymosity at all, which is good. They were a band before you met them 4 months ago. They gave you a good run to feel out your style (4 months is a pretty lengthy trial period) and it wasn't what they ultimately wanted. Nothing about you personal, but by the sounds of it, just not what they ended up needing for their established project.

If I have one solid piece of advice? Keep thinking of these guys as friends. Don't write them off. You may find yourself in a side project with any one of them in the future. They've already half-invited you to a colaboration project, even if there is only one song so far.

Also, having spent 4 months with them should have opened at least a few doors. KEEP WRITING, KEEP PLAYING!! Don't let a set back like this ruin you. It will not be the last time this happens if you continue to make music with others, it is inevitable that conflicting ideas/personalities will pop up in any art, particularly when there is an established core that you are invited into. Sometimes they can be overcome, sometimes not.

Work on your own sound, put out feelers in the area and start a new project! Or two! Or 10!!

No band lasts forever, so don't let the end of the second one kill your spirit any more than leaving your first band did.

Again, keep writing, keep playing, keep active in the scene and stay true to your style. Your still young, it's not over yet.

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Idk_somethingfunny t1_ixjycdi wrote

At least your band let you know. My old band just kind of ghosted me and gave me "wtf are you doing here" looks when I came to practice. Still though, I'm sorry that happened.

1

MDS1138 t1_ixk0ga0 wrote

This is all solid advice for OP. Agree wholeheartedly about the friends thing especially.
You might work with one of them on other projects, or you may network and meet other musicians mutually through them. Keep it classy, and you're the first guy your friends recommend when some other band they know needs a new guitar player.

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ikediggety t1_ixk2ipj wrote

Hey, at least they didn't ghost you. I'm still waiting for my singer to call me about the future of the band, it's been nine months 🤣

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Glittering-Beyond-45 t1_ixk5isq wrote

Sounds more like business partners than friends to me, and the letter seems as nice as a break up letter as you can expect to get. There will be more bands and "friends" in your life, these were not the ones.

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Trobus t1_ixk6zr8 wrote

Everything they wrote seems pretty straight forward to me, sometimes people don’t mesh. If you’re in a band that takes it seriously you have to spend a lot of time with each other, and you can usually tell pretty quick if it’s not going to work out. I’ve had situations from fist fights to better friendships, you never know what’s going to happen and it would be better to just take it as it is and move on. You mention you’ve met other people through them, and they themselves would be interested in working on your material with you, no reason to burn those bridges, that could give you a bad reputation and make it all that more difficult to do something in the future if you’re sticking around your city. Go to shows, meet more people, if you’re good enough chances are something will happen and you’ll find some people who are about what you do and want to make music with you.

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Artistic_Position_53 t1_ixkc9xb wrote

You're completely deluded about what my comment was about and probably need to have your reddit account deleted to save you from yourself before you injure someone else or yourself based on whacko crap you pull out of your arse. Go listen to The Wall on repeat for 30 hours bro

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Gheist009 t1_ixkd35f wrote

See, I know this can go on all week, but I also know you are a child who just needs attention. I've just given you as much time as I have for a pathetic, caustic and terrible pre-teen with such a deep understanding of everything. I don't blame you, I blame your parents. Now, really.. get some sleep.

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PORTOGAZI t1_ixkmrez wrote

There’s so many things you could be doing to throw off a band that already had its groove. You might be a good player but I’ve rejected great guitarist just because they were too bluesy when I wanted more punk for example.

Or despite being shit hot they overplay all the time. Always too loud. It’s amazing how many musicians are too dense to grasp this concept. Just because you have skllls doesn’t mean we need to notice them all the time.

Considering how nice the text was it sounds like they’re good dudes who probably really wrestled over the decision. Albeit over text is shitty.

My friend was a drummer and his band all lived and practiced in a house and he woke up one morning and they were all fonenand took their gear. No explanation — after SEVEN YEARS.

4 months is still a dating period, and you’re still really young so get back out there. Meet some new people and pay close attention to your own behaviour. Are you pulling your weight? On time? Always broke ? Serving the song? Etc.

Good luck

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Equivalent-Bid8682 t1_ixkvluz wrote

They probably got lame riffs anyway. They did you a favor. Start a better band.

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KitsuneKaos t1_ixl7syr wrote

Whilst it seems nice, I reckon there's probably more going on but they are just too polite to be completely honest... it may be you, it may be them, but at least they aren't being dicks and are willing to give you credit and some coin for any money made.

You've only been with the band 4 months, so it's not like you have been with them for years, it's still sad you feel that way and it's still not easy.

I'm sure you will find some other people to collaborate with and make a kickass band of your own.

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No-Professional-1884 t1_ixlakb4 wrote

I’m sorry that happened. The business sucks, but you’ll get through it.

I would be hesitant to let them use your work on their album though. If it didn’t “vibe” enough to keep you in the band then why would they want it? (Other than it’s good and they know it.)

You have every right to take back you intellectual property (barring no contracts otherwise.)

Start hitting up open mics and networking. Check out Bandmix, if you haven’t already, or Craigslist.

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[deleted] OP t1_ixlh7mu wrote

Well put and spot on. Artistic collaborations are notoriously fluid and in truth that's a good thing as it often forces artists to stretch out beyond their creative comfort zones. And frankly writing as an avid consumer of music (and dedicated guitarist) much of the best music we have has resulted from bands dissolving and reforming in new combinations with all the revitalization of creativity that often accompanies that process.

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Trobus t1_ixmrhbu wrote

Not really picking up what you’re saying, they’re not being honest about the vibes they were feeling? They obviously felt something to kick you out of the band, even if you thought it was all good doesn’t mean that was their perspective.

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Rasta-Grandpa t1_ixmvuuy wrote

I’m saying “wrong vibes” is really not an actual reasoning. You could get a lot more specific but they don’t want to come out with that.

The idea that they would kick me out based on “vibes” is so much BS. It’s either they are being honest or they are not.

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Trobus t1_ixmwt5a wrote

Okay, I feel you, I would have been more direct but I’m also kind of blunt when it comes to that sort of thing. To me it sounds like they were trying to be as nice as possible, which shows they care about your feelings, no reason why you can’t reach out and ask what specifically was off if that’s something you really want to know.

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