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PregnantSuperman t1_j6zehw2 wrote

The lore says Phil is immortal. You can never get rid of him!

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ThatCrossDresser t1_j78q3jy wrote

Phil is immortal to death from natural causes. If he is killed directly by a mortal being that day starts over again and no one except the murderer is aware. Every time this happens it creates a branched mirror universe where the main time line is the one where the mortal decides not to kill Phil. Those branch universes don't last forever though, the people inside of them rot and die painful deaths as the force that sustains that universe runs out. They shouldn't exist and therefore will stop existing in weeks, months, years, or maybe decades.

The souls created in these temporary universes of pain live on and ultimately find their way to the main timeline to unconsciously torment the one who killed Phil. A curse that is passed down the family bloodlines and to close friends causing untold suffering. From sickness, to bad luck, to the shadows that move out of your eyesight late at night, the pain is shared. Eventually all the living people who were not split from the main timeline die and whatever eldritch force that holds that charred duplicate remains of their lost soul, dies with them. Once again the family and friends of the one who murdered Phill will know peace.

So think twice before messing with Phil.

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PoorFraxinus t1_j6zjaii wrote

We haven’t had much of a winter this year. Phil’s trying to help us

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reddit_mouse OP t1_j6zljhk wrote

Phil’s a liar and can’t be trusted.

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IamSauerKraut t1_j6zpqny wrote

Gus cannot be trusted, either. He says to scratch it off and you will be a winner, but at the end of the day, you know he's just hoping for another 6 weeks of winter.

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enemy_of_your_enema t1_j730rqc wrote

If you always expect the opposite of what Phil says, you'd be in pretty good shape.

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Trout-Population t1_j6zs2k8 wrote

His death would spark Fimbulwinter and lead to Ragnarok...

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Chorazin t1_j6zyvqb wrote

Listen, Phil is immortal, but his wives aren't. He will watch them bloom, whither, and die one after the other for the rest of eternity.

He is suffering enough.

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reddit_mouse OP t1_j73ou3v wrote

I know — never being able to divorce a surly wife and having to wait until death musters up the courage to take her — that is true torture.

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[deleted] t1_j6zl1m4 wrote

Back in the 1880s, they used to cook him and eat him after his prediction.

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reddit_mouse OP t1_j6zl55b wrote

That’s a tradition we need to reinstate.

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IamSauerKraut t1_j6zpt8n wrote

I aint eatin' no flipping groundhog.

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SquintyB t1_j6zth0i wrote

We must stop normalizing rodent on rodent crime.

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IamSauerKraut t1_j6zplla wrote

Have Phil win the lottery... then he and that other annoying groundhog can ride off into the sunset together, forever in love.

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Chuck1705 t1_j6zwfwm wrote

Climate change will ruin his natural habitat...

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DinoReads t1_j71ozw6 wrote

I have Blairsville Bill in my backyard. He is unbreakable. He is impervious to bubble gum intestine clogging and won’t drink the coolant.

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[deleted] t1_j703v9m wrote

This is what we get for forgetting winter solstice

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artificialavocado t1_j70r1sg wrote

Phil operates on the Highlander rules of immortality.

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No-Setting9690 t1_j71sgns wrote

Oh it would have to be irony. Like he predicts early spring, but gets buried under snow with his handlers. After a few days, no rescue in site, they eat him.

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The_Wizard_of_Bwamp t1_j724okn wrote

I believe he has to go all 12 rounds of bare knuckle boxing with Jack Frost in order to loose his immortality. At least that's what I recall from the movie.

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Dramatic_Arm_7477 t1_j72qoj3 wrote

Phil has died plenty of times. I was going to school in Punxsy back in '87.

It was the 100th anniversary back then.

I pretty sure it wasn't the original Phil.

Side note. That damn critter had better digs than my dorm room. It has this super cool set up in the public library.

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barelykim t1_j73k6m1 wrote

PHIL IS CUTE. WHY WOULD. YOU WANT TO HURT HIM SORRY THATS MEAN .

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CoolShadeofBlue t1_j73m287 wrote

I will not stand for treason against the all knowing Punxsutawney Phil

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ThePopeJones t1_j73mwev wrote

Phil is one of the Great Old Ones. You can never hope to kill him, you can only temporarily appease him.

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soggywaffles812 t1_j6zg3my wrote

Send him to Canada?

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C4bl3Fl4m3 t1_j732cmi wrote

Eh, Ontario already has Wiarton Willie.

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WikiSummarizerBot t1_j732ecj wrote

Wiarton Willie

>Wiarton Willie is the name given to a Canadian groundhog who lives in the community of Wiarton in Bruce County, Ontario. Every February 2, on Groundhog Day, Willie takes part in the local Wiarton Willie Festival. His role is to predict whether there will be an early spring. Although the original Wiarton Willie died in 1999, the Wiarton Groundhog Day celebrations continue each year with a successor of the original Willie (except in 1999 and 2021 where, due to the previous Willies' deaths, no groundhog was used), and each successor is also referred to as Wiarton Willie.

^([ )^(F.A.Q)^( | )^(Opt Out)^( | )^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)^( | )^(GitHub)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)

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[deleted] t1_j6zl6y9 wrote

With the governor’s approval, Shell buys the mineral rights below Phil’s burrow and knowingly poisons the aquifer so they can ship the fracked gas to Europe to profit from the war.

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unenlightenedgoblin t1_j70qytx wrote

Winter Phil vs Spring Phil. They fight to death in a televised match each Feb 2nd

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reddit_mouse OP t1_j71c4j0 wrote

How about Phil and Gus in Thunder Dome? 2 rodents enter; one rodent leaves.

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worstatit t1_j77mhsx wrote

Dynamite from Bill Murray.

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susubeans999 t1_j7cixw5 wrote

If you kill him it stays winter forever.

1