Make it happen. Woodchucks are vermin.

The lore says Phil is immortal. You can never get rid of him!

Send him to Canada?

Drive off a cliff with him in your lap in an old red pickup.

We haven’t had much of a winter this year. Phil’s trying to help us

Back in the 1880s, they used to cook him and eat him after his prediction.

That’s a tradition we need to reinstate.

With the governor’s approval, Shell buys the mineral rights below Phil’s burrow and knowingly poisons the aquifer so they can ship the fracked gas to Europe to profit from the war.

Phil’s a liar and can’t be trusted.

Dame- no chills there lol

Have Phil win the lottery... then he and that other annoying groundhog can ride off into the sunset together, forever in love.

Gus cannot be trusted, either. He says to scratch it off and you will be a winner, but at the end of the day, you know he's just hoping for another 6 weeks of winter.

I aint eatin' no flipping groundhog.

I want to use Phil’s dead claw to scratch off a winning ticket.

Oh, and fuck Gus, too.

His death would spark Fimbulwinter and lead to Ragnarok...

We must stop normalizing rodent on rodent crime.

Climate change will ruin his natural habitat...

Listen, Phil is immortal, but his wives aren't. He will watch them bloom, whither, and die one after the other for the rest of eternity.

He is suffering enough.

Phil is the only thing keeping climate change from stealing our winters!

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This is what we get for forgetting winter solstice

Gus is fn annoying too.

But... aren't they supposed to be cousins?

How fucking dare you.

Winter Phil vs Spring Phil. They fight to death in a televised match each Feb 2nd

Phil operates on the Highlander rules of immortality.

How about Phil and Gus in Thunder Dome? 2 rodents enter; one rodent leaves.

I have Blairsville Bill in my backyard. He is unbreakable. He is impervious to bubble gum intestine clogging and won’t drink the coolant.

I suggest trying lead poisoning.

Your soul is mine. Shang Tsung wins.

Oh it would have to be irony. Like he predicts early spring, but gets buried under snow with his handlers. After a few days, no rescue in site, they eat him.

Check your mirrors, side to side. Don't drive angry.

Well you don't have to flip him if you don't want to. haha You could do a stew or something.

👀

Perry County cousins, yes.

I believe he has to go all 12 rounds of bare knuckle boxing with Jack Frost in order to loose his immortality. At least that's what I recall from the movie.

Death by snu snu

ggrrrooooossssssss

I'm sure they said the same about blue cheese the first time. haha

Phil has died plenty of times. I was going to school in Punxsy back in '87.

It was the 100th anniversary back then.

I pretty sure it wasn't the original Phil.

Side note. That damn critter had better digs than my dorm room. It has this super cool set up in the public library.

If you always expect the opposite of what Phil says, you'd be in pretty good shape.

Eh, Ontario already has Wiarton Willie.

Wiarton Willie

>Wiarton Willie is the name given to a Canadian groundhog who lives in the community of Wiarton in Bruce County, Ontario. Every February 2, on Groundhog Day, Willie takes part in the local Wiarton Willie Festival. His role is to predict whether there will be an early spring. Although the original Wiarton Willie died in 1999, the Wiarton Groundhog Day celebrations continue each year with a successor of the original Willie (except in 1999 and 2021 where, due to the previous Willies' deaths, no groundhog was used), and each successor is also referred to as Wiarton Willie.

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PHIL IS CUTE. WHY WOULD. YOU WANT TO HURT HIM SORRY THATS MEAN .

I will not stand for treason against the all knowing Punxsutawney Phil

Phil is one of the Great Old Ones. You can never hope to kill him, you can only temporarily appease him.

I know — never being able to divorce a surly wife and having to wait until death musters up the courage to take her — that is true torture.

Phil should live, always.

Karma

And snow machines.

I see you are unfamiliar with voles.

Dynamite from Bill Murray.

Phil is immortal to death from natural causes. If he is killed directly by a mortal being that day starts over again and no one except the murderer is aware. Every time this happens it creates a branched mirror universe where the main time line is the one where the mortal decides not to kill Phil. Those branch universes don't last forever though, the people inside of them rot and die painful deaths as the force that sustains that universe runs out. They shouldn't exist and therefore will stop existing in weeks, months, years, or maybe decades.

The souls created in these temporary universes of pain live on and ultimately find their way to the main timeline to unconsciously torment the one who killed Phil. A curse that is passed down the family bloodlines and to close friends causing untold suffering. From sickness, to bad luck, to the shadows that move out of your eyesight late at night, the pain is shared. Eventually all the living people who were not split from the main timeline die and whatever eldritch force that holds that charred duplicate remains of their lost soul, dies with them. Once again the family and friends of the one who murdered Phill will know peace.

So think twice before messing with Phil.

If you kill him it stays winter forever.

I am not. Have you met Squirrels?

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