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simplytacosandbeer t1_iw886yx wrote

The person who I am talking about had an accident and is unable to be independent, barely talks, comprehension is questionable. I do not think that they are capable of making a decision, but a family member filled out the ballot for this person (apparently there was a question asked, and a nod to answer, but it was most likely slanted to the family member's own beliefs). It just makes me angry that this person was taken advantage of but, as someone mentioned above, I'm not going to rat out a family member. I'm simply venting, wondering how much this happens.

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--Cr1imsoN-- t1_iw893ti wrote

Oh yeah… that’s definitely a grey area. I know what you mean. I work in human services, helping individuals with developmental disabilities. As care providers, we are supposed to phrase questions in a way that won’t show bias, at least when it comes to helping people with disabilities to vote.

Definitely a bit of a gray area when it’s family though, because while it’s wrong, even people without disabilities are influenced by their families when it comes to voting.

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moonwish22 t1_iw8u11f wrote

You are making an awful lot of assumptions here. Who is questioning the comprehension; is it their doctor? There are many people who, through accidents or strokes or injuries, aren’t physically able to be independent and may have issues with speech, but spoken speech and understanding speech are two different abilities of the brain. A person is fully capable of being able to fully comprehend everything around them, but may not be able to fully express through words. The person deserves to be heard even if it’s through different means of communication.

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simplytacosandbeer t1_iw96vzp wrote

Okay, I'll just get it out. I'm talking about my almost 90yo Dad. Fell and hit his head. Can't walk, or talk, and I try talking to him but there is just nothing there. His physical body is going through the motions of living, and I know without a doubt that he is no longer able to make decisions because I have tried for over a year to figure out how to get through to him.

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moonwish22 t1_iwa1khl wrote

I’m sorry to hear about your father. It’s really hard to watch our loved ones age, and it’s also really difficult when they have falls and hurt themselves. This can be a very frustrating time for the family and the patient. I understand this as I am a professional that works in physical rehabilitation.

The only way that he can be designated as not of sound mind is if a doctor has expressed it and/or there has been legal action with proof that he is not of sound mind. I don’t want to discount your feelings or thoughts as you try to communicate with him. Your feelings are yours and it’s absolutely okay to express them. This is just how it is- a doctor and/or legal action with proof. If this hasn’t happened and/or a doctor has expressed that your father has his faculties and is able to communicate to people with nods, etc as he does, then the doctor’s medical evaluation is what is followed. Now if you are concerned about any of this, then there is something that you can do. You can bring this to the attention of his immediate caregivers, a social worker, and/or his doctor. However, decisions of this nature are usually done with doctors, POA(s) if there are any, immediate caregivers, and/or an attorney depending on the situation. I do not know where you fall into these categories… You do not have to go into any more details as there is no need for me to know any more of his case or your personal details. And honestly, please don’t because internet/Reddit is not a place where I’m comfortable with any identifying information from anyone. But I wanted to convey that there are people that you can talk to if you feel that you need to express your concerns about your father and what is happening with him. I sincerely wish you and your family all the best.

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