Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

tibbon t1_jd2mubn wrote

Reply to comment by pweedith in What do you do? by Loveroffinerthings

Did I answer the question wrong? Not sure I understand the downvotes. Not all money is family money.


boulevardofdef t1_jd2vems wrote

I always feel weird about this stuff because I'm deeply sympathetic about increasing social stratification in America and how hard it's become to live a secure lifestyle with a working-class job, but I also get so frustrated by how little people understand about this stuff. I feel like I'm on the side of the assholes when I point it out, but it's true.

So many of the comments in this thread are "it's family money" or "they're up to their eyeballs in debt." I've been inside many big, fancy houses in this state and known many people who live in others. The answer has literally never been "it's family money" or "they're up to their eyeballs in debt." The answer has always been "they have jobs that pay a lot, often with a dual income." It's weird to me that people don't seem to understand that a) a lot of these jobs exist, and b) they can buy you a big-ass house. It's such a simple answer, but I guess the logic is "I don't know how to access these jobs so they must not exist"?

Just off the top of my head, here are some jobs held by people I know who live in houses I would characterize as big and fancy, all of which I've been inside:

  • Owner of software development company and attorney
  • CTO of software development company and spouse with unknown job
  • Executive at major corporation and non-working spouse
  • Executive at major corporation and financial adviser
  • Corporate attorney and editor for a national news publication
  • Two executives at a large engineering firm
  • Owner of said engineering firm
  • College basketball coach and hairstylist (cheated a little on this one, it's my wife who knows the hairstylist, and I've never been in the house but they did give us their piano. I just thought it was cool)

These people exist and there are a lot of them. That's who's living in the houses. Remember, these are just houses that I've personally been inside and it's not even all of them. Of course there are some people who watch TV all day and live off their trust funds from their robber-baron great grandfathers, but they're a small minority.


Mountain_Bill5743 t1_jdbmx5o wrote

To be fair, I used to ask this a lot when I'd meet people here a decade ago and get some wild answers and it was interesting because only really unique situations gave people the chance to live here and own these places. A lot of entrepreneurs, weird creative types, self employed etc. I once had a detailed conversation with the head of the state department of health in a laundromat back in the day-- absolutely fascinating afternoon waiting for my laundry.

These days, though, the answer is generally that someone works for a white collar job for company located in NYC/SF/Boston in Marketing/Advertising/software engineering. I think people get tired of this and the knee jerk reaction is to downvote.

So in their defense, these jobs rarely existed here more than 5 years ago even though there used to be a random VP here or there who had enough seniority to work from this state.


HotConcrete t1_jd2u74o wrote

Because you left essentially the same comment twice.

“I’m 40. I have a historic mansion in Providence. I didn’t buy in a fancy neighborhood. I’m about 15 years into my software career. I taught myself everything I know about technology and didn’t study it in school.

I don’t have family money. I am maxing out my 401k. I’m also supporting my partner financially while she figures out her next steps. No hustle. No money from a FAANG windfall. I’m making well over 200k on my own.”


“I have a historic mansion in RI. Senior software engineer/security/operations person who is very good at their job. Didn’t buy in fancy neighborhood. No family money, and I don’t care for being entrepreneurial. I could make more likely, but I am lazy and have no hustle these days”

It’s common to downvote one of these comments.


tibbon t1_jd59q35 wrote

Incorrect. I was getting downvoted within minutes of posting the first one. I’m still not sure why or how I answered incorrectly