Submitted by Anxious_Lily t3_10g2fek in RhodeIsland
Im 23 f and I've been in RI for almost 2 years at this point and only really have 2 friends in the area. Things like bumble BFF and other meet up apps don't really seem to work for me. I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to make local friends in person? Even if you see this and was to make a friend feel free to message me and we can agree to hangout some time. I'm just tired of not knowing people and I want friends.
rustybullrake t1_j50g2k9 wrote
Anytime I've made friends it has been as a secondary effect of having regular, repeated interactions someplace I'm at anyway. In my case school, work, bars.
Anytime I've grown apart from friends, it's been because there hasn't been regular, repeated interactions because I'm not at those places anymore. Out of sight, out of mind.
Intention isn't nearly as effective as repetition, that's how you get the "oh hey we should totally hang out soon!" that never happens because life keeps getting in the way. This is why post-school is such a hard time for friendships for so many people.
Which is to say, your best bet for finding and forming friendships is to be somewhere regularly and repeatedly. School, work, bars, gyms, religious groups, book clubs, charity groups, etc. Doesn't really matter where, so long as you are likely to run into people you jibe with. Show up, keep showing up, talk to people. Friendships should follow organically.
And don't listen to folks who say this is a New England problem. It's a post-school problem anywhere, and likely a consequence of work taking up so much of our free time and energy.
Good luck!